


Die erwünschte Normalität

by xslytherclawx



Series: ô saisons, ô châteaux (ravenclaw au) [17]
Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Friends to Lovers, Friendship, Gay Male Character, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, Jewish Character, Jewish Holidays, Jewish Wedding, LGBT Jewish Characters, M/M, Marauders Era (Harry Potter), Minor Character Death, Mutual Pining, Pining, Regulus Black-centric, Weddings
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-22
Updated: 2020-10-17
Packaged: 2021-02-28 22:40:01
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 19
Words: 45,842
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23254831
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/xslytherclawx/pseuds/xslytherclawx
Summary: Sixth year is different in a lot of ways, but one thing hasn't changed: Regulus is still hopelessly in love with his best friend.It'll be fine.
Relationships: Regulus Black & Maximus Scamander (OC) & Isaac Goldstein (OC), Regulus Black & Sirius Black, Regulus Black/Dirk Cresswell
Series: ô saisons, ô châteaux (ravenclaw au) [17]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1110843
Comments: 165
Kudos: 118
Collections: ravenclaw au (xslytherclawx & thestias's harry potter multiverse), xslytherclawx & thestias's harry potter multiverse, xslytherclawx's jewish fic





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> was da in berlin und später in ihrer stadt geschieht, ist normale pubertäre gemeinschaftsonanie, ohne konsequenz für späterest fühlen, denken und handeln, und ohne wirkung nach außen, denn verschwiegenheit ist voraussetzung für die erwünschte normalität. und man hat sich von sich selbst so entfremdet, daß man die berührung des anderen mit dem mund als intimer empfindet als die mit dem geschlechtsteil. uns so hat er ihn zwar geküßt, aber nur zaghaft und mit der angst, der da neben ihm könnte sich ihm entziehen, denn was der da mit sich machen läßt im bett, ist verboten für ihn selbst, wobei verbot schon nicht mehr nötig, ekel da shon immer.
> 
> \- Ronald M. Schernikau, _kleinstadtnovelle_ (1980)
> 
> * * *
> 
> This starts a few weeks into summer holidays, and might answer a lot of questions I've been getting in the survey - which will be up for the next week! you can go through it [here](https://www.surveymonkey.com/r/8X7L5Y7), if you haven't already - there are three pages, but it really doesn't take long!

Regulus did not anticipate his brother coming into his room in the middle of the night and shaking him awake, so he thought he could hardly be blamed for punching him. The Scamanders, after all, didn’t allow underage magic in the house, and Regulus was two months shy of seventeen.

“Ow! What the  _ fuck, _ Reg?” Sirius hissed.

“How did you even get in here?” Regulus hissed, turning on the light and glancing at the clock.

“I needed to tell you something!”

“Sirius: how did you get  _ in here?” _ Regulus repeated.

Sirius shrugged, looking vaguely guilty. “Apparently the Scamanders never reset the alarms for when I Floo in.”

Regulus dragged a hand down his face. He made a note to mention as much to Tina. Newt would probably just forget. “And what could you  _ possibly _ want at this hour?”

“Uncle Alphard is dead.”

Regulus didn’t respond at first. The thought occurred to him that this might be a dream, but then… why would he dream about his brother breaking into his room in the middle of the night? “How did you find out?”

Sirius reached into his pockets and shoved a letter at him. Regulus scanned the letter from Dorian Rosier, who had been there when their uncle died. Of course it had been from Dorian Rosier. It wasn’t a very long letter, but it made its point: Alphard Black was dead (cause unknown, and he was  _ young,  _ Regulus realised with a pang), and, given Alphard’s lack of children, his gold was to go to Sirius and Regulus, as well as several properties.

Regulus wondered what he’d left Dorian Rosier.

The Rosier family seal was on the letter. Regulus recognized it even if he had never read Dorian’s signature before, and he handed the letter back to Sirius. “Fuck.”

“That was my reaction, too,” Sirius said, sitting down on the edge of Regulus’s bed. “Mum’s gonna blast him off the family tree for that.”

Regulus snorted. “What good does it do now? He never had any kids.”

“I wonder how Rosier’s holding up,” Sirius said. “Bet his wife’s insufferable about it. Merlin, Reg, could you imagine having to have a  _ wife? _ I’m so glad we both got out of there.”

Regulus could very easily imagine having to have a wife. It had only been in the past year that that had changed… and he was incredibly glad for it. “I always liked Uncle Alphard,” Regulus said.

“Me, too, Reg.”

* * *

He wasn’t surprised to find a letter from the family solicitor waiting for him on the kitchen table when he came down for breakfast in the morning. Tina was sitting nearby, sipping at a mug of coffee, and Regulus knew that she could recognise the letter for what it was. Max hadn’t come down yet, and Regulus guessed he’d probably sleep for a few more hours.

“My uncle died,” Regulus said. “Alphard. The one I liked. Sirius came over last night in the middle of the night to tell me he’d gotten a letter from Uncle Alphard’s –” he stopped himself, unsure of  _ how _ to describe Dorian Rosier’s relationship to his uncle. “Partner, I suppose? I dunno, he’d married a witch, this other wizard, but — we all knew they were still together.”

“I’m sorry to hear that, Regulus,” Tina said. “I know your uncle was special to you.”

“Well,” Regulus said, “he  _ was _ gay, and he was better than Mum and Dad by miles, but he was also still definitely — he told me more than once that he thought Grindelwald had had the right idea of things and just held — You-Know-Who as a cheap imitator. And his partner’s  _ definitely _ a Death Eater. His son even told me that outright.” He  _ didn’t _ say that he’d fooled around with Dorian Rosier’s son, because there was no need for Tina to know that — and, really, Max had probably told her already.

“Oh,” Tina said. “That doesn’t mean that you’re not allowed to grieve for him.”

“I’m sure I will once it hits me,” he said. “And you and Newt might want to reset the Floo, because Sirius did get in unhindered.”

“It must have slipped Newt’s mind,” Tina said. “I’ll see to it later today.”

“You don’t have to — say anything, if it’s too personal, but — your parents died when you were young, didn’t they?” He couldn’t remember for the life of him if Max had told him that, or if he’d read it in a book, but he was aware of the fact, regardless.

“They did,” Tina said. “I was — much younger than you are now, and it wasn’t — quite so sudden. They were ill. Dragon pox. Honestly — I thought that was the hardest thing I’d have to go through in my life, but… life had other plans.”

“I don’t think I’ve ever — known someone who died before.”

“It’s one of the most difficult things to have to cope with,” Tina said. “Even now, sometimes I see something, or hear something, and the first person I want to tell is my sister.”

“It’s only going to get worse, isn’t it?” Regulus asked. “With the war?”

“Probably,” Tina agreed. “The Ministry is doing all it can, and so is Dumbledore, but…”

“But things are getting worse, not better,” Regulus said. “Sirius and Potter will try their hand to become Aurors, I imagine. Lily and Isaac have both already told me they want to become Healers. Although, to be fair, I think Isaac’d have decided that  _ without _ the war.” He reached for the letter. “Might as well open this.”

He broke the seal with a satisfying crack and skimmed the letter. His uncle had had an official will, and his parents were, naturally, contesting it. Lovely. He and Sirius were to meet with the family solicitor to determine a solution, and receive their bequeathments. He wondered, vaguely, if Alphard had ever finished the latest Warbeck novel. He’d written Regulus in April, two months earlier — but had he decided to make that change then, or before?

He’d have to tell Max now.

“I’m to go to the family solicitor’s office in London this afternoon.”

* * *

Sirius insisted on going side-along. If Regulus didn’t know better, he’d say that his brother was just showing off, but he knew how much Uncle Alphard had mattered to Sirius. He knew that their parents had always been worse to Sirius than to him. He knew that Sirius also couldn’t stand to be alone. So he agreed.

He’d dressed in an appropriate set of dress robes that were a little old, but mercifully still fit. Sirius hadn’t even bothered to put on  _ robes; _ he wore Muggle jeans and a violently purple skin-tight button-down. It actually wouldn’t be a terrible outfit in Muggle society, at least by Regulus’s approximation, but it would infuriate their parents. 

They made it to the solicitor’s office before their parents. Sirius pressed a vial of the draught of peace into Regulus’s palm. “Here.”

Regulus drank it without a second thought. His anxiety was already going wild, and he knew Sirius wouldn’t try anything funny in a situation like the one they were in. Sirius vanished the empty vial before Regulus could stick it back in his pocket.

Their parents arrived and didn’t seem to pay any mind to them. A few minutes later, the family solicitor, whom Regulus knew only by the surname Nott (Regulus wasn’t sure he’d ever known the woman’s first name) brought them into her office.

“I’m sorry for your loss,” she said. “Alphard was a remarkable man, and it was so sudden.”

“Do they know what’s caused it?” Sirius asked.

Nott shook her head. “I understand there is an investigation, but no one suspects foul play.”

Regulus might suspect his parents if he thought they cared enough about Alphard to kill him.

“In the meantime, Alphard’s will was very straightforward: all of his properties and his vault at Gringotts are to be distributed equally between Sirius and Regulus.”

“Not the family vault,” Walburga said. “They are  _ blood traitors, _ and have  _ no _ right to the family vault.”

“You  _ have _ submitted the proper paperwork, Walburga — neither Sirius nor Regulus have any claim to anything in the family vault unless you and Orion pass without a proper heir. This pertains only to Alphard’s personal vault.”

“And what’s he left Dorian Rosier?” Walburga asked. “More than he’s left his own sister, that’s for sure.”

“Rosier might be a Death Eater,” Sirius said, “but something tells me he  _ still _ wasn’t quite as nasty as  _ you.” _

“I will not tolerate speculation about upstanding members of pureblood society in this office,” Nott said. “Nor will I get involved in personal disputes with no legal basis. Walburga, Orion, you have no right to contest the will — it’s all very by the book.”

“Regulus is underage,” Orion said. “He can’t inherit anything.”

“Under normal circumstances, that would be true,” Nott said. “However, you and your wife did both file the appropriate paperwork to make  _ both _ of them — and Regulus, still — an emancipated minor — which means that he  _ can _ inherit and own property.”

Regulus hadn’t known that. Why hadn’t he known that? Why had he thought that his parents had still technically had some claim on him? He should have asked Newt and Tina — surely they knew, at this point. Newt’s brother had been head of the DMLE before Crouch’s father’s predecessor had replaced him.

“Walburga, I do have to say that Alphard has not left any indication of his claim to his portion of the family vault, so legally, that does fall to you — and to Cygnus, of course — as his closest surviving relatives. But everything else — save a few particular items — belongs to Sirius and Regulus. There is a specific list of items which Alphard wanted passed on to other people, and I will see to it that it is taken care of, but — you and Orion are free to leave.”

It was clear to Regulus that this wasn’t a request. His parents left the room in a huff, and he was certain that they’d look into finding another solicitor, but he didn’t care.

“So,” Nott said once their parents had gone. “There is the matter of the division of assets.” She handed them each a piece of parchment with a list of assets. “This is everything that Alphard’s left to the two of you.”

Regulus skimmed the list — this was more than Dorian Rosier had said in his letter. “He had a townhouse in Chelsea?”

“And a flat in Diagon Alley?”

“Both are yours. We can split ownership, or divide it evenly.”

Regulus exchanged a look with his brother. 

“I think we can share ownership,” Sirius said. “Determine between us who’s going to live where or do what with what.”

“Though I think the gold should be evenly distributed between us.”

“Oi, don’t trust me with Alphard’s fortune?”

Regulus raised an eyebrow. “Is that an actual question?”

“No,” Sirius said. “I wouldn’t, either. I’ve been eyeing a motorbike.”

“Of course you have,” Regulus said.

“We can divide his gold between the two of you — have you both got vaults at Gringotts?”

“Yeah,” Regulus said. “Personal safes.”

“Any other valuables, then, will stay in Alphard’s vault to divide amongst yourselves?”

“Yeah,” Sirius said. “That works.”

Nott made some notes. “Good, good. And there is one small matter — for Regulus.”

“For me?” Regulus asked.

“If you’d like, Sirius can stay in the room, but this doesn’t concern him.”

He was glad for the draught of peace, because he knew without it, right now, he’d feel extremely anxious. “Sirius can stay,” Regulus said. “I trust him.”

“Very well,” Nott said. She shuffled some papers around. “As you may or may not be aware, your uncle published a series of novels under a pseudonym. He stated in his will that he would like all future decisions regarding these novels to come from you — and that you would determine whether or not to reveal his identity.”

Oh, that was — a lot. “Oh,” Regulus said.

“He had just submitted a manuscript to his publisher a few weeks ago.”

“I don’t know anything about publishing,” Regulus said. “Has he got an agent?”

Nott nodded. “I can put you in touch with her.”

“Thank you,” Regulus said.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Regulus talks to Max... and sees some of his friends

“I think we should pick out what we want, and then have our friends round to see if there’s anything they want,” Sirius said. They’d settled in in a café in Diagon Alley with all of the paperwork. “And, personally — I’m going to move into the townhouse in Chelsea. It’s Muggle London, and even though it’s a bit posh — you can have the flat in Diagon Alley.”

“How generous of you to offer me a flat while you take the townhouse.”

“Do you  _ want _ the townhouse?” Sirius asked. “Because I’ll  _ take _ the flat if you don’t want it. Paperwork says they’re about the same size, anyway.”

Truthfully, Regulus didn’t much like the idea of living in Muggle London, let alone around posh people. He knew posh Muggles were different from the pureblood elite, but it was still — far too close for comfort. “I’ll take the flat,” Regulus said. “It’s not as if I’m moving in until next summer, anyway.”

“I guess that’s probably true,” Sirius said. “You can move in with me, if you’d like.”

“No offense, Sirius, but I think we’d kill each other.”

Sirius laughed. “Yeah. Probably. Well, the offer stands, and you’ll always have your own room. You  _ do _ own half the place, anyway. I think I’m going to try to move this summer — I don’t like being a burden to the Potters, y’know? And I’m of age, so — I  _ can _ move.”

“That makes sense,” Regulus said.

“Besides, the townhouse has a shed out back, and I can use it for a garage for my new motorbike. I can probably get the fireplace hooked up to the Floo Network if it isn’t already, and I have an OWL in Muggle Studies, so I should be able to figure out the rest. Otherwise, I’ll just ask Remus.”

“Sirius, how am  _ I _ supposed to manage the whole — Warbeck thing?”

“Well,” Sirius said, “I don’t really care for how bogged down those books got in politics, Rosier’s a Death Eater, so that — sort of does leave you. Talk to Max about it. It could be a fun bonding activity.”

“He was still asleep when I left,” Regulus said. “I haven’t even told him Uncle Alphard  _ died.” _

“Was he asleep in your bed?” Sirius teased.

“No,” Regulus said. “Because he’s not my boyfriend.”

* * *

Regulus had no sooner opened the front door than Max had wrapped his arms around him in a hug. “Mum told me what happened,” Max said. “Are you okay?”

“I don’t think it’s hit me yet,” Regulus said, hugging him tight. 

“If you need  _ anything, _ just ask, all right?”

“Of course,” Regulus said.

Max tucked Regulus’s head under his chin. 

“This is new,” Regulus said.

“I think you’re too tall for this,” Max said.

“Or are you not tall enough?”

Max let go of him and stepped back. “What? I’m the tallest person you know! I’m taller than  _ both _ my parents!”

Regulus hummed. “Yeah, but you’re not tall enough to rest your chin on the top of my head without getting on your tiptoes, so — you could be taller.”

“I can’t believe this,” Max said. He ducked his head to peck Regulus on his lips. “You’re so mean, Reg.”

Regulus grinned and kissed Max’s cheek. “Do you want to go down to the seaside?”

“You’re sure you’re okay for that?”

“Yeah,” Regulus said. “I think it’ll help, actually.”

* * *

Regulus mostly managed to keep himself from staring at Max in his swim trunks. He sat on the beach, reading a book while Max swam in the sea. Regulus wasn’t sure how long it had been, but then Max sat down next to him, panting and soaking wet. Regulus shut his book and put it in his lap — surely Max wouldn’t  _ blame _ him for getting hard at the moment, but it was still embarrassing.

“Good book?” Max asked, leaning over to kiss Regulus on the cheek.

“Excellent book,” Regulus said. He looked over to Max, who was gorgeous and freckled and really just  _ perfect. _ He felt a sudden rush of gratitude that he was out of his parents’ house — that he could kiss and touch other boys and no one would force him to marry a witch. That he would, in all likelihood, eventually marry another wizard (even if it wasn’t likely to be Max).

His uncle had never had that privilege. His uncle had had to content himself to an affair after Dorian Rosier had married his wife. Even Evan Rosier had believed that Uncle Alphard and Dorian had still been involved. His uncle had never denied it.

Regulus felt Max lace his fingers through his. “You sure you’re all right?”

“I’m fine,” Regulus said. “It’s just that — he could never have had this.”

“Your uncle?”

Regulus nodded. “I might not have a  _ boyfriend _ yet, but — I think we can both be fairly certain that I’ll end up marrying a man. I won’t have to content myself to affairs.”

Max hummed. “From what you’ve said, though, that’s exactly why he encouraged you to get out. So that you’d get to live a life he never could have.”

“He said he’d have to marry a witch if Sirius and I both left.”

Max carded his fingers through Regulus’s hair. “He could have left, too, but he didn’t. I dunno if it’s because he agreed with their purist politics, or what, but — none of this is your fault, you know.”

“I know,” Regulus said. “But I’m just so glad that that’s not my life.”

“It’s not,” Max said. “You can go into whatever career you fancy — and I think, for you, that’s going to be Quidditch – and live a comfortable life with a man you love and loads of books. I don’t pretend to be a Seer, but I’m sure you’ll end up happily married to another man.”

“So will you,” Regulus said, “but I suppose you’ve never doubted that.”

“I’m the only one in my family who  _ isn’t _ bisexual,” Max said. “So — yeah, I’ve always known that I’d marry a man.”

Regulus was tempted to ask if Max ever thought about  _ who _ he’d marry, but that might end badly, so instead he said, “You know Cassius Warbeck?”

“Am I familiar with the greatest political satirist of our time? Yes.”

“He’s my uncle,” Regulus said. “Was my uncle.”

Max didn’t say anything immediately, but he did squeeze Regulus’s hand. “Oh.”

“He left that whole business to me. Which I think also includes the royalties, which really means I don’t think I’ve  _ got _ to work a single day in my life, considering how popular they are. The solicitor said he’d just finished the next book and submitted it to his publisher. But I really haven’t got any idea how to — go forward with that.”

“We’ll ask Dad,” Max said. “He’s really familiar with all that — not for novels, but it can’t be  _ too _ different, can it?”

“That’d be great,” Regulus said.

“So, wait,” Max said. “A few months ago, when you got me that signed book and letter?”

“I wrote him to see if he’d be willing to help me in a grand gesture to — make it up to you. I didn’t expect him to do what he did — maybe just send a signed copy. Definitely not write a long inscription and a letter.”

“You’re telling me that that long letter I wrote to my favourite author about sympathetic gay representation and how it’d only be better if there were someone who was sure of himself being gay — that was to your uncle?”

“It wasn’t my secret to tell,” Regulus said. “Now it is.”

Max kissed his cheek. “I love you.”

“I love you, too,” Regulus said. “And — if you want, Sirius wants to go through the properties to see if there’s anything we want to keep. I thought about asking you, Isaac, Emmeline, and… I wasn’t sure about Lily and Dirk because they’re Muggleborns, and I really  _ don’t _ know what’d be there.”

“I think you can ask them, but Lily won’t go if James is there.”

“That’s probably true,” Regulus said. “Can’t really say I blame her.”

Max shrugged and rested his head on Regulus’s shoulder.

“Max, honestly, why did you ever fancy him? Surely he’s always been a prat.”

“He was,” Max said. “But he was cute and smart. Granted, that’s all more charming in a seven-year-old than a seventeen-year-old.”

* * *

To Regulus’s surprise, Emmeline, Lily, and Dirk all agreed to come sort through the properties. Even when Regulus had made it clear that Sirius and his friends would also be there. Isaac had already left for America, and wouldn’t be back until the end of July, but Regulus made a mental note to keep an eye out in the library for anything Isaac might like.

They started with the estate in the West Country, because it was the largest, and had been Alphard’s primary residence. They agreed to meet at home first, because it was a point that everyone knew, and they were all already included in the wards. Emmeline came first, via Floo, followed shortly by Dirk. Lily, for her part, Apparated in.

“So we’re Flooing to the estate,” Regulus said. “It’s probably the easiest way.”

When they arrived at the West Country estate, Sirius and his friends were already there. Potter was playing around with a strange animal horn.

“You know that could explode and kill all of us,” Max said. “That’s an errumpent horn. It’s one of the most explosive substances known to wizardkind.”

James Potter flushed and set the horn gingerly back on a shelf. “Don’t want that,” he said sheepishly. He seemed to notice Lily, then. “Hullo, Evans. Have your hols been good so far?”

Lily looked at Potter as if he had three heads. “I — guess so?”

“Good!” Potter said. “Sirius is insisting on moving out as soon as he’s able, and he won’t tell me if it’s just because I’m unbearable to live with.”

Regulus hadn’t figured Potter for self-deprecating. This was just too weird. “I’m going to start with the library,” Regulus said. “The study’s off-limits.” The study was, after all, where all of Alphard’s writing was.

“Predictable swot,” Sirius said, rushing over and mussing Regulus’s hair before he could get away. “We’ve already taken the liberty of finding bags and trunks for everyone to take what they’d like.”

“I’ll go with you, Reg,” Dirk said. 

Max looked around the drawing room. “I sort of want to look around a bit, if you don’t mind?”

“Why would I mind?” Regulus asked. “Might want to keep an eye out for anything else dangerous Sirius and his idiot friends could get into, to be honest.”

“I’ll try my best,” Max said.

* * *

“Holy shit,” Dirk said, looking around the library.

“Don’t touch anything without checking with me,” Regulus said. “Uncle Alphard didn’t particularly care for the Dark Arts himself, but loads of this has been here for centuries.”

“Oh,” Dirk said. “Do you think some of these are cursed?”

“I  _ know _ some of these are cursed,” Regulus said. “But they’re well-organized, so the more benign topics should be fine, I think. But still. You never know.”

“Reg, I  _ am _ sorry about your uncle,” Dirk said.

“Thanks.”

“I know it’s not the same thing, but my grandfather passed away last summer.”

“Oh,” Regulus said. “I’m sorry to hear that.”

“Thanks,” Dirk said. “I know talking helped, so if you ever want to talk to me….”

“Thanks, Dirk.” Regulus said. “I’ll keep that in mind.”

“Yeah of course. I know you can talk to Max and Isaac, too, but I dunno if they’ve ever lost anyone like that. And I have. So.”

“And Sirius is… Sirius,” Regulus said. “No, I completely understand. Max and Isaac have been doing their best — especially Max, but — they can’t actually understand. And I’m glad they can’t, you know, for their sakes, but…”

Dirk smiled at him. “You know how to reach me. I dunno much about public Floo points in Wales, but I’m sure they exist.”

“Wait, then… how do you get to London? Or… here, or Dorset?”

“I take a train to London and usually visit Em and use her Floo if we need to.”

“But you live in Wales.”

“Yeah. In Swansea.”

“How long is that train ride?”

Dirk shrugged. “About four hours.”

Four hours! To travel a distance that would take  _ seconds _ via Floo! Regulus couldn’t believe it; in Dirk’s place, he’d have sorted out public Floo points after first year.

“I get a lot of reading done,” Dirk said. “Besides, it’s not  _ so  _ bad. The  _ Welsh _ countryside is beautiful.”

“Still,” Regulus said. “Four hours.”

“It really only bothers me when I’ve got to ride the Hogwarts Express in the same day.  _ Then _ it’s a lot. But over summer this year, I spent the first night with Em, and I’ll probably do the same at the end of August — and that’s around your birthday.”

“It is,” Regulus said. Why was Dirk bringing  _ that _ up?

“Maybe we could hang out. Or talk, or — whatever.”

“If Max will let me get away. He gets more clingy than usual around my birthday.”

“Well, I’ll be in London from the twenty-seventh, so just let me know.”

“Yeah, I will,” Regulus said.

Dirk smiled. “Great! So, er… I should let you know before I touch any of the books, right?”

“Yeah,” Regulus said. “Wouldn’t want you getting cursed.”

“They can’t  _ tell _ I’m a Muggleborn, can they?”

Regulus frowned. “I don’t think so? But some of them might have something against people who just aren’t Blacks. I dunno. It’s best to just ask.”

“Got it,” Dirk said.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The year five survey is closed, and results will be posted on my Tumblr next week


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's Regulus's sixteenth birthday

“Reg, get up!”

Regulus did not expect  _ Max _ to ever be the one to wake  _ him _ up — not with how Max slept in — but there was no other explanation for what was happening. That was definitely Max’s voice.

“What time is it?” Regulus asked.

“Nine A.M.!”

They’d stayed up until four. How was Max even  _ awake? _ “Max, it’s my birthday. Let me sleep in.”

“Nine  _ is _ sleeping in for you.”

He’d normally be right, but he typically didn’t stay up as late as he had the night before.  _ “Max…” _

“Fine, all right,” Max said with a huff. He threw aside the blankets and crawled up next to him. “But I get to sleep in your bed with you.”

Regulus pulled the blankets back up over them and wrapped his arms around Max. “Fine by me.”

He felt rather than heard Max sigh and settle in, and this was surely the very best way to start his birthday: sleeping in with Max in his arms, pressed close to him. Max’s face was right next to his, and Regulus could see every single freckle, and maybe stared a bit too long at Max’s thick, dark lashes. Max had the tiniest bit of fuzzy facial hair on his upper lip, and Regulus couldn’t help but stare at the freckles on his lips. Merlin, he was too cute.

Without thinking, Regulus leaned forward and pressed a chaste kiss to Max’s lips. Max’s eyes fluttered open, still the bluest blue that Regulus had ever seen, and he smiled. “I thought you wanted to sleep in?”

“I do,” Regulus said.

“All right,” Max said. He kissed Regulus chastely on the lips and then closed his eyes again and moved even closer. He wrapped one of his long legs around Regulus’s hip. How was Regulus supposed to sleep like this?

He watched as Max drifted off. He was too beautiful, really. And he looked so peaceful. And — really, how had Regulus ever slept next to Max and thought he was straight? Max was the most gorgeous bloke he’d ever laid eyes on. He ran a hand through Max’s hair, and Max, in his sleep, made an adorable little sighing sound.

Regulus wasn’t stupid: he knew his chances with Max were dismal, and even if they did, somehow, manage to date, that was no guarantee that things would work out. The way Regulus saw it, there was a much higher chance of ruining their friendship entirely than there ever would be of things working out. (And  _ working out _ was as detailed as he let himself think. He didn’t even want to  _ think  _ about  _ marriage _ where Max was concerned, because he knew he’d just want it desperately and be unable to bring himself back down. And Max didn’t deserve that).

He managed, somehow, to drift off again even though he could feel Max’s leg around him, Max’s warm breath on his face, Max’s chest rise and fall as he breathed.

When he woke up, Max was actually laying on top of him, using his chest as a pillow as sunlight streamed into the room from the windows. Max was mumbling incoherently, which Regulus just took to mean that he was talking in his sleep again.

Regulus looked at the clock on the wall. It was nearly noon. That was  _ more _ than late enough. “Max,” Regulus said.

Max made an adorable little whining noise. “Jus’ five more minutes,” he mumbled.

Regulus knew if he lay in bed for five more minutes like this with Max, he’d never get up. So he summoned all his willpower and said, “You can sleep in, but I need to shower.”

“All righ’,” Max mumbled.

Regulus extracted himself from his bed (and from Max) and made his way to the bathroom. He didn’t think he could be blamed for his thoughts wandering to Max, asleep in his bed, halfway through his shower. He could admit to himself that he was completely, totally, hopelessly in love with Max. Max might not feel the same, but at least they’d stay best friends. He could ensure that much.

* * *

When he got out of the shower, Max was still asleep in his bed. Not that Regulus had expected differently, really, but… it did take all of his self control not to just crawl into bed with him and cuddle. Just cuddle. And if the cuddling turned to kissing, then that would be fine, too. If the kissing turned to snogging, well, they  _ were _ sixteen; things like that happened. And if the snogging turned to shagging — he loved Max. He did. Which was exactly why he couldn’t let himself think that way.

Max was his  _ best friend, _ and no one married the person they were in love with at sixteen! (Okay, so Narcissa had, and she seemed happy, but she was an  _ exception _ to the rule; even Isaac said his parents hadn’t gotten together until  _ after _ Hogwarts). The best Regulus could hope for was Max’s continued friendship, and in order to have that, he couldn’t exactly date him. No matter how much he wanted to.

And Merlin, did he want to.

He gently shook Max awake. Max groaned and rubbed at his eyes. “Wha’ time izzit?”

Merlin, he was adorable. Regulus wanted nothing more, in that moment, than to climb back into bed with him and kiss every inch of him he could reach. “Quarter past noon.”

Max shot up. “Quarter past  _ noon?” _

“...Yes?” Regulus wasn’t sure why  _ that _ was what woke him up. Max regularly slept in past noon, especially during hols.

_ “Fuck! _ Reg, we have to get dressed!”

“Why?”

Max leapt up and kissed him, one of those chaste pecks on the lips that left Regulus wanting  _ more. _ He was gone as soon as Regulus had registered what was happening. “We just do; trust me!”

Max rushed to Regulus’s wardrobe and started going through his clothes. After about a minute of this, he shoved a set of robin’s egg blue robes at him. “Here!”

“Max,  _ what _ is going on?”

“Just trust me,” Max said. He kissed his cheek and darted out of the room. Regulus shut the door behind him, feeling a bit dazed.

What did Max have planned? Because he  _ definitely _ seemed to have something planned. He knew better than to question it; Max delighted in gifts and surprises, and Regulus certainly wasn’t about to take that from him. 

All the same, as he put on the robes Max had pulled out, Regulus couldn’t help but think that it might just be a bit better to spend the whole day alone with Max, cuddling up close together. He knew Max wouldn’t refuse him if he asked, but… well, he’d see what Max had planned, first. 

He’d brushed his teeth in the bathroom, so as soon as he’d pulled on socks and checked his appearance in the mirror, he went out to the corridor, where Max was waiting, somehow already dressed.

Max kissed him briefly on the lips. “Happy birthday!”

“Thanks,” Regulus said. Because it was his birthday, and he was certain that Max wouldn’t object, he reached up and kissed him. It wasn’t quite a peck on the lips, but he made sure not to draw it out (even if he wanted little more than to do just that).

Max reached for his hand and squeezed it. “Did you get enough sleep?”

“I think so,” Regulus said. “Though I’d really rather just hang about the house with you, if that’s an option.” He kissed him again for good measure, rather less chaste this time, and maybe that was overkill, but Max kissed him back. Oh, fuck. This was happening.

They hadn’t kissed properly — not like  _ this _ — in over a year. Regulus pulled Max close and buried a hand in his (coarse, wiry, perfect) hair. He felt Max cup his jaw, and he tried not to think too much about the fact that Max’s tongue was currently in his mouth (or that his tongue was currently in Max’s mouth, or that Max tasted like peppermint, or that Max was making the most adorable little sounds). In the moment, he wasn’t totally convinced that this wasn’t some wet dream. It  _ had _ been over a year since they’d last kissed with tongue, and  _ this, _ with Max pressed flush against him, and Max’s other hand on the small of his back, was more than they’d ever done before.

Not knowing what else to do, but not wanting Newt and Tina to see them like this (more to avoid a  _ very _ well-meaning but overly detailed and humiliating talk than anything else), he started leading Max back to his room, walking backward and not daring to break their kiss. He’d just opened the door with his free hand when he heard and all-too-familiar voice downstairs call, “Oi! Scamander! You said noon, didn’t you?”

Well, that certainly ruined the moment.

Regulus pulled away. He took a moment to catch his breath, and  _ fuck, _ Max looked so  _ good _ — so gorgeous and sexy and flushed, with swollen lips and mussed hair and heavy lidded eyes — that Regulus nearly pulled him back into his room anyway. But he didn’t. Sirius wouldn’t wait downstairs for long.

“Max, you  _ didn’t,” _ he whispered.

Max was still flushed, although whether it was because he was embarrassed or because they’d just snogged for several glorious minutes, Regulus wasn’t sure. “Sorry,” he said. “You seemed to have such a good time last year that I thought I’d surprise you.”

“Please tell me everyone we know isn’t downstairs.” He was aware that he had a  _ situation _ in his trousers, and he didn’t think he could properly take care of it (at least not with Max, and not with a few minutes alone in his room, thinking of Max) without Sirius bursting in. He tried to think of something desperately unsexy, but with Max so close, it was difficult.

Max shook his head. “Just Sirius and Isaac. We’re all meant to go to the first Tornadoes match of the season, and I talked it over with them, and we all sort of agreed that doing something when we get back to Hogwarts was probably best, since Lily, Mary, and Dirk are all Muggleborns and they all live quite far away. Besides, Sirius pointed out that we’ve no clue how long the match will go on for.”

Regulus was disappointed that he wouldn’t get to spend the day alone with Max all to himself, but he was also  _ incredibly _ relieved that it was just his annoying brother and his (other) best friend downstairs rather than an entire party. And it was incredibly thoughtful of Max to have planned this.  _ “You’re _ going to the Quidditch match?” he asked, knowing all too well both Max’s disinterest in the sport and his fear of heights.

“I go to all of yours,” Max said. Regulus gave him a look. “All right,” Max amended. “I didn’t think leaving you alone with Sirius and Isaac was a great idea, considering how you and Sirius start fighting at the drop of a hat, and how even if you don’t fight, Isaac will do something incredibly stupid to try to impress him if I’m not there to stop him.”

That sounded more like it.

_ “Hello?” _ Sirius shouted.

Regulus rolled his eyes. “We’ll be down in a moment!” he called. Then, he kissed Max — chastely this time — and laced his fingers through his. “It’s really a lovely and incredibly thoughtful surprise,” he said. He just wished he’d gotten to snog Max a little more. He wanted to kiss Max’s neck and see what sorts of noises he’d make. But, well, Sirius was incredibly impatient. “Thank you.”

“Of course,” Max said, squeezing his hand. “Anything for you, Reg.”

Regulus felt a rush of affection for him. “I don’t know what I ever did to deserve you.”

Max grinned and kissed his cheek. “Good thing it’s not about desert, then, isn’t it? Though I rather think we should head downstairs before Isaac makes too much of an arse of himself. Have you sorted out your, erm, situation?”

Regulus felt himself blush, but at least the blood was going to his face. “I — I think so.”

“Brilliant,” Max said. “Though I don’t think Sirius would tell anyone, really. Isaac certainly wouldn’t.”

* * *

“All right,” Max said a bit faintly, as they found their seats in the stands. Regulus had to hand it to him: their seats were  _ excellent. _ “Maybe I  _ should _ have stayed home…”

“I’m sure Reggie won’t mind if you hold his hand the whole time,” Sirius said.

“How many times do I have to tell you not to call me that?” Regulus asked, but he reached for Max’s hand and laced their fingers together anyway. He sat down next to Isaac, with Max and then Sirius on his other side. This was both to prevent an argument with Sirius (because Max had a point there), as well as to save Isaac making an arse of himself (Max was right there, too).

He was decked out in Tutshill gear, and most of it had been a gift from Max. It was far too warm to wear his winter hat or gloves but he managed his scarf and his pin. Max held tight to his hand for the whole match, and Regulus realised, after a few people looked at them, that they rather looked like a couple.

He supposed that was the obvious conclusion; after all, whenever he saw two people sitting together holding hands, occasionally kissing each other on the cheek, he knew  _ he _ assumed they were together. The thought that someone might think he and Max were  _ together _ made him unspeakably happy. It was almost better than the match. 

Almost.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The Year Five survey results are up!  
> [Q&A](https://xslytherclawx.tumblr.com/post/614527705388613632/year-five-qa) & [Survey Results](https://xslytherclawx.tumblr.com/post/614527700171898880/year-five-survey-results)!
> 
> and please do note, as this has become very clear to me going over the survey results: this series is planned through the end in broad strokes, and I've written at least a year ahead consistently.   
> If you want me to write something in particular, the best way to do that is to ask about my commissions on tumblr. If you want to see something specific between Max and Reg – you can ask me on tumblr, or you can definitely write it on your own!   
> I'd love to see readers' Max/Reg (or ravenclaw squad) ideas and fics, and I'd be the opposite of upset to see it posted on AO3 - in fact, if you're writing Ravenclaw AU characters, be sure to post it to the multiverse collection this series is a part of (the collection name is pottermultiverse) so it's easily accessible for anyone who wants to find that content to read it!


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Regulus goes back to Hogwarts

Regulus went back to Hogwarts with a firm plan in mind: he’d continue with every course he was  _ currently _ taking, save Herbology, on the NEWT level, and if any of them ended up being overwhelming, he would drop them before NEWTs. Max, he knew, intended to drop several courses, but only those which he found dull.

Regulus still wasn’t sure what Max had told Flitwick during career counselling. He wondered if Max  _ had _ actually gone ahead and said that his career goal was to become a trophy husband (as he insisted to anyone who asked). He wasn’t sure what career asked for the patchwork of NEWTs that Max was sure to end up with.

He knew Isaac was planning to take every course he could — and he’d only one single E, in Astronomy (and not a single A). The three of them had gone to Diagon Alley together, where they’d met up with Emmeline and Dirk. Max had gotten new school robes (as he’d somehow grown even more in the past year), and they’d all gotten their books.

As they sat at the breakfast table on the first day of classes, Isaac agonized over the possibility of being shut out of one of his courses. (It wasn’t going to happen, but that didn’t mean he hadn’t run through at least five different contingency plans before Max had even had his second helping).

Regulus, for his part, was more concerned about the new Quidditch team. It was James Potter’s last year on the Gryffindor team, and he was bound to use that as ammunition to try even harder to win the Quidditch Cup, but Regulus wanted to win more than he ever had before. He needed an excellent record if he wanted to catch the attention of a recruiter.

He barely even registered Professor Flitwick coming over until Isaac nearly ran into him rushing to get to his first period Herbology class. First period Herbology sounded like absolute torture, and Regulus only half-listened as Max rambled on to Flitwick about how he didn’t  _ want _ to continue with Transfiguration, because, really, what was he going to do with a N.E.W.T. in the subject?

Max finally got the all clear to only continue with six courses, including, for some reason, Care of Magical Creatures (which Regulus  _ knew _ Max found painfully easy, and had been certain he’d drop). “On second thought,” Max said to Flitwick, “Maybe I  _ will _ be bored in Care of Magical Creatures? But then even though I could  _ probably _ teach it… I  _ do _ like spending time with creatures. What do you think, Reg?”

Regulus looked up. Merlin, Max was adorable; he was worrying his lip and all Regulus could think was how lovely it would be to kiss him. They hadn’t kissed since his birthday, not properly, and Regulus was starting to wonder if that had been a one time thing. He knew that all he needed to do to sort it out was  _ ask, _ but the asking seemed uniquely terrifying. He had no idea if Max even fancied him, and the last thing he wanted to do was spoil their friendship.

“Er, sorry, what?”

“D’you think I should continue with Care of Magical Creatures?”

Emmeline caught his eye, and he knew she, at least, would probably want to get to Herbology as soon as possible.

“Er, yeah,” Regulus said. “You like it, don’t you? Even if it’s easy.” He knew Max too well to think that he’d ever like something  _ because _ it was easy, but… despite staying firm on his decision  _ not _ to become a Magizoologist, he did clearly love the subject, and he loved handling creatures even more.

“All right,” Max said. He turned back to Flitwick. “I’ll keep Care of Magical Creatures.”

Flitwick produced Max’s schedule, looking relieved, and then turned to Emmeline. That exchange took all of two minutes, during which time, Regulus felt Max’s foot nudge his. Regulus looked up and raised an eyebrow. Max blushed.

“I’ve got a free period.”

“I’ll have one, too,” Regulus said. “There’s no way I’m going to continue with Herbology.”

“We should do something fun, then,” Max decided. Before he could suggest what, exactly, he had in mind, Professor Flitwick turned to Regulus.

“Now, Mr. Black, let me see your application.” 

Regulus handed it over without complaint. “The only course I’m not continuing with at the moment is Herbology.”

“I know we discussed your career prospects last term,” Flitwick said. “Are you certain that you don’t wish to have more free periods?”

Regulus shrugged. “I like all of my other courses. If it gets too difficult to balance, I won’t continue with some them next year, but for now, I’d like to try.”

“I’d better get free tickets when you’re a famous Quidditch player,” Max said.

“Assuming I get that far,” Regulus said.

“Oh, you will,” Max said. “I have faith in you.”

Max  _ still _ didn’t know a thing about Quidditch — it had been difficult enough to get him to remember the positions, and that catching the snitch ends the game. Max really had no idea how good (or bad) Regulus  _ was _ at Quidditch. But, well, Regulus was touched by the sentiment, anyway.

“I’d like to just drop Herbology, Professor,” Regulus said.

“As you wish, Mr. Black. You know you can stop by my office if you ever have difficulty managing your workload.”

“Can he get a time turner?”

“Max, I’m not going to get a time turner.”

“Sure, sure, but  _ can _ you?”

Professor Flitwick handed Regulus his timetable. “Thanks, Professor. Max, why don’t we go sit by the lake?”

Max sighed. “All right. I  _ wanted _ to go back to bed, but I suppose I can take a nap by the lake. We  _ have _ got two hours, after all.”

“I appreciate the sacrifice,” Regulus said as he gathered his things as Flitwick moved on to talk to Helen Wallace, a Muggleborn girl in their year. 

Max shoved some toast into his mouth and pocketed an apple and followed him to the lake. Regulus conjured a blanket (he did have class later, after all), and sat down on it. Max lay down, and settled so that his head was in Regulus’s lap. Regulus stroked his hair, and in that moment, it seemed as if they were the only two people in the world.

* * *

Regulus walked into the Potions classroom with his friends to find that it smelled — different. Pleasant. Like — well, like  _ Max _ and old books and the Quidditch pitch on a spring afternoon. He saw Max give him a sidelong glance and wondered if he smelled it, too.

They found a table with Dirk and before Regulus could do more than say hello, Slughorn had called everyone over. There were several large cauldrons in the front of the classroom, and, in the centre, one of the cauldrons was full of a pearlescent, shimmering potion — and Regulus realised that the overwhelming smell of flowers and cinnamon and old books and the Quidditch pitch was coming from this cauldron. Regulus realised then what it was: amortentia.

Well, shit. That explained the smell.

It wasn’t as if he wasn’t perfectly aware that he was madly in love with Max, but he hoped Slughorn didn’t ask him what he smelled in it. 

“Does anyone have any idea what the potions in these cauldrons are?” Professor Slughorn asked.

Regulus knew, but he didn’t volunteer. What could he possibly say if Slughorn asked him what he smelled in the Amortentia? He couldn’t say he smelled  _ Max, _ and he wasn’t convinced he could talk around it. He supposed he might be able to explain away the floral, slightly spicy scent he’d come to associate with Max as springtime, but he really wasn’t a very good liar.

Fortunately, Gus Selwyn raised his hand. “The one in the middle is Amortentia, isn’t it, sir?”

“And how do you know that?”

“Well, the sheen, for one, sir. And the smell — it smells like what attracts each of us the most?”

“For example?”

This was exactly what Regulus had been terrified of. Selwyn, on the other hand, didn’t seem bothered. “I smell broom polish, fresh parchment, sea air, and –” He seemed to catch himself. “Sandalwood.”

“Thank you, Mr. Selwyn. Would anyone else like to volunteer what they smell?”

Surely Regulus wasn’t imagining the sidelong glance Max cast his way. Max didn’t raise his hand, but Isaac did.

“Mr. Goldstein?”

“I smell old books, Havdalah spices, and my mother’s Friday night roast, sir.”

“Thank you, Mr. Goldstein. Do you know what Amortentia is used for?”

Isaac nodded. “It’s a love potion, sir,” he said. “The most powerful love potion known to wizardkind. It creates intense infatuation and obsession in the person who takes it.”

“Infatuation and obsession?”

“No potion can create actual love, sir, but — the effects are often similar and powerful enough that the victim is convinced it’s real.”

“Excellent. Ten points to Ravenclaw. And ten to Slytherin, too, for Mr. Selwyn’s correct identification of the potion. Now, what about this next potion?”

* * *

“You smell your Mame’s roast?” Max asked as he chopped his roots.

Isaac shrugged. “Apparently. I suppose it reminds me of home — and Shabbos.”

“Don’t most people smell the person they fancy?”

Did  _ Max _ smell the person  _ he _ fancied? Did Max  _ fancy _ someone? Was it still that straight bloke he’d mentioned in fourth year? The idea made Regulus feel slightly ill. He knew he’d smelled Max in the potion, but — the thought that Max might fancy someone — someone who wasn’t him — was too much to bear. 

Fortunately, Isaac said, “Haven’t got any idea what Lily or Mary properly smell like, have I? I don’t really spend loads of time with either of them. Besides — I think you’d like the way the person you fancy smells  _ because _ you fancy them. I dunno — maybe it’s in there somewhere, underneath everything else.”

“I can tell you that I didn’t smell  _ my _ mother’s cooking.”

“What  _ did _ you smell?” Isaac asked.

Max blushed. “None of your business. Just not my mum’s cooking. What did you smell, Emmeline?”

It was an obvious attempt to change the subject, but Regulus didn’t mind. He wouldn’t be able to take it if Max  _ hadn’t _ smelled him. 

“I smelled Honeydukes Best Chocolate, the flowers in the garden at home, and peppermint tea,” Emmeline said. “But then I don’t think I fancy anyone at the moment.”

“You don’t  _ think _ you fancy anyone?” Max asked.

Emmeline blushed slightly and rolled her eyes. “Well, everyone who’s remotely interested in girls fancies Lily Evans, so I certainly don’t count that.”

“Well, Isaac fancies Lily, too, and you apparently didn’t smell any of the same things, so — I’d guess that  _ neither _ of you smelled Lily.”

“Emmeline might’ve,” Isaac said. “I’ve barely spent any time with her; Emmeline and Reg are prefects with her.”

“Anyway,” Max said. “I really don’t think you should be discounting your feelings for someone just because everyone else fancies them — even if your friend does, too. It’s ultimately Lily’s decision who she dates or doesn’t date, but she hasn’t  _ said _ she’s straight, and apparently she dated Lupin last year, so that’s blokes covered, so feasibly, she could date either of you.”

“I can barely string together a coherent sentence around her,” Isaac said.

“So Emmeline, you’ve got the advantage there. And Isaac’s got the Jewish advantage.”

“Since when is being Jewish an  _ advantage?” _ Isaac asked.

“Since we’re talking about a Jewish girl who’s been known to date Jewish blokes?” Max said.  _ “I  _ might not care if I date a goy or a Jew, but some people  _ do. _ Maybe Lily’s one of them. I dunno. You might need to actually talk to her to ask.”

Regulus rolled his eyes. “If either of you want me to put in a good word…”

“No,” Isaac said. “I’m not delusional. She’s  _ Lily Evans.” _

“She’s also a Muggleborn Jewish prefect, and she’s clever and  _ really _ very pretty, which is just about everything you’ve ever wanted in a girl,” Max said.

“Piss off, Max.”

“Honestly, if you don’t marry a Muggleborn or an outright Muggle, I just know I’ll be very surprised.”

“Shut up and let me focus on my potion,” Isaac said, though he was blushing.

“If you win the Felix Felicis, maybe you can use it to ask her out,” Max teased. “Or you, Emmeline.”

Isaac looked Max dead in the eyes. “What do you intend on using it for if you win?”

It was Max’s turn to blush. “I don’t think I’ve got much of a chance at winning, so it’s a bit of a moot point, isn’t it? I’m surprised I got an E, honestly. Potions is too much like cooking for me to be very good at it — far too much attention to detail.”

* * *

Regulus expected Max to complain about how difficult NEWT-level classes were, but he was in a great mood.

“Did you see that Selwyn and Gallagher shared a table with Mary and Dirk today?” Max asked.  _ “That _ was new.”

Regulus hadn’t noticed. “Gallagher didn’t sabotage him?” he asked.

“Not that I could see,” Max said.

“That  _ is _ strange,” Regulus said. “Isaac, did you notice anything?”

“I was too busy trying to avoid Crouch. Why has fucking Crouch been in every single class I’ve had today?” Isaac asked. “He’s going to  _ torture _ us.”

“He might still be afraid of Reg after last year,” Max said. “On account of Reg setting him on fire, and all.”

“That was  _ one time,” _ Regulus said, “and he’d called me a homophobic slur!”

“I’m not saying it was unwarranted. Just that he’s probably still avoiding you.”

“That’s great,” Isaac said, “but that doesn’t help me in Herbology, does it?”

“I only wanted to take courses I could pass,” Regulus said. “Five years of Herbology was hell enough — I’ve no idea how I scraped an E, to be honest.”

“It’s because you’re naturally brilliant and talented and lovely,” Max said. “That and you actually try.”

“Are you saying you  _ didn’t _ try on your O.W.L.s?” Isaac asked.

“Not as much as I should’ve,” Max said. “After the first half hour it was all very dull. And we couldn’t  _ talk! _ You lot know how I can’t focus if I can’t talk or move around.”

Regulus hesitated for a moment, but he reached for Max’s hand. Max laced their fingers together.

“Anyway,” Max said. “Gallagher and Selwyn!  _ What _ is that all about?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> by the way, i've made a [quiz to see which ravenclaw au character you are](https://uquiz.com/RUfDZj), if y'all wanna take it!


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Regulus talks to Gus. And Lily.

After a while, Regulus had to admit that Max was right: there  _ was _ something going on between Gus Selwyn and Nigel Gallagher. He knew if he asked Mary, she’d probably tell him, but that felt a bit too underhanded. He’d hate someone asking Max or Isaac about whatever was going on with him, rather than asking him directly.

So he asked Gus himself. Best to go straight to the source. He caught him right before their next prefects’ meeting. “I can’t help but notice that Gallagher is properly talking to you,” he said after they’d exchanged hellos.

“Merlin’s beard, Regulus,” Gus said. He shuffled him out of the room and cast a Muffliato charm. “You can’t really — spread it around, but — he bet me I couldn’t last a week as a Muggle with him and his family in Dublin, and it turns out he’s fancied me for  _ ages, _ and he was just worried that I wasn’t genuine about trying to unlearn all that purist bollocks — or that I wasn’t doing a decent job of it, and I know I’ve got loads to do, still, but — we went out on a proper Muggle date to the cinema, and he kissed me —  _ he _ kissed  _ me _ — and we’ve been together ever since.”

That was a lot to process.

“You spent a week living as a Muggle in  _ Dublin?” _ That was the easiest thing to focus on. He didn’t think  _ he _ could manage such a thing, and Isaac and Emmeline were two of his best friends. (And Isaac, though a Half-Blood, had mostly been raised by his Muggle grandparents).

“Yeah,” Gus said. “Nigel bet me I couldn’t do it, and he said he’d hear me out if I did, so I did. Honestly — you know, they’ve got all sorts of mad workarounds for magic. It’s not at all as primitive as our parents make us think. I rather think  _ Nigel’s _ parents think we’re the primitive ones.”

“Isaac’s made that much clear through the years,” Regulus said. “His mum’s a Muggleborn, and he’s got three Muggle grandparents.”

“Don’t get me wrong,” Gus said. “Everything takes so much longer, but you know you can just put your dirty clothes in a metal box, press a button, walk away, and then an hour later they’re clean? They’re wet, and you’ve got to dry them, and that takes forever, but they’re  _ clean. _ No magic needed!”

“Well, I would think Muggles would need clean laundry,” Regulus said, nowhere near as astounded by this as Gus seemed to be. But then he’d had Isaac and Lily and Dirk and Sirius and Mary to talk to him about all sorts of mad Muggle things. Even if he was fairly certain that Sirius was making a lot of  _ his _ facts up, Isaac, Lily, Dirk, and Mary certainly weren’t. Hell, to hear Emmeline and Max discuss it, Isaac knew more about Muggle culture than almost any other Half-Blood in school, barring those with  _ actual _ Muggle parents.

“Apparently Mary had it figured out all along. She was quite smug when we told her.”

“Of course she was,” Regulus said. “But, well — congratulations.”

“Thanks,” Gus said. “I didn’t think it was possible to be this happy — and I’m sure, you know, that you’ll be just as happy with Scamander, once the two of you actually talk things out.”

Regulus wasn’t sure about that — the idea that Max felt the same way was much too good to be true. Rather than address that, he glanced around and said, “Thanks, but I think — maybe we should go back inside? So Lily and Potter don’t chew us out?”

“That might be a good idea,” Gus said.

Regulus lifted the charm and they went back into the classroom. Gus went to sit with the other Slytherins, and, well, Regulus couldn’t really blame him. He knew if he were in Gus’s position, he’d be doing everything possible to avoid suspicion.

So Regulus sat between Dirk and Emmeline. As Mary and Gallagher came in, Regulus noticed the way Gallagher’s gaze flitted over to where Gus sat, and he felt suddenly grateful, all at once, that he’d been disowned and could date whomever he wanted with little material danger.

* * *

After the meeting, Lily called his name: “Regulus, would you wait a moment?” 

Dirk raised his eyebrows, and Regulus shrugged. He hadn’t done anything to get himself into trouble, and Lily had  _ known _ he was gay while assigning him patrols with other boys (and Gus Selwyn and Gallagher where both gay, too), so it couldn’t be anything too bad, right? 

“Sure,” he said. He waved Dirk, Emmeline, and Mary on and went to talk to Lily. Potter had run out early, for which Regulus was extremely grateful.

“So,” Lily said. “Your brother hates me.”

“I wouldn’t say he hates you,” Regulus said, though he wasn’t completely inclined to disagree. “Hate’s quite a strong word. He was just jealous that Lupin ever paid any attention to you.”

“Remus and I are friends,” Lily said primly, and Regulus wondered if she realised he knew about them (granted, it had been because Isaac had pointed it out, but still). “And he’s dating your brother, now, anyway.”

“Didn’t you date Lupin two years ago? My fourth year, your fifth?”

Lily blushed. “Why would you say that?”

“Isaac’s the one who noticed, really, but it was pretty obvious even to me that Lupin was gutted about something that summer Sirius and I left. And I really doubt it was spending a day at the seaside with his best friends — one of whom had just gotten out of an abusive household — and his best friend’s little brother.”

“We — did date for most of that school year,” Lily said. “But we broke up when he — that’s not important. I was angry, and took it out on him, and I’ve since apologised and moved on.”

“He’s definitely moved on,” Regulus said, “and I don’t think Sirius harbours any ill will anymore.”

“So,” Lily said. “I, er…”

“As long as you’re not trying to get back with Lupin, I’m pretty sure Sirius will be fine. He can be — mercurial, but – he’ll get over it even if he does get upset in the moment.”

“I’m not,” Lily said. “It’s actually, er, James Potter?”

“James  _ Potter?” _ Regulus repeated. “Lily, please tell me that’s some Muggle you met over hols and not — Sirius’s best mate and Max’s neighbour James Potter.”

“It’s Head Boy James Potter.”

Regulus  _ really _ didn’t understand this. Lily was, mostly, sane and reasonable and rational and she’d always  _ seemed _ intelligent and level-headed. What would she want to do with  _ James Potter, _ idiot extraordinaire? “He’s a prick.”

“He’s actually — decent.”

“Are we close enough friends that I can tell you to just shag him and get it out of your system without damaging our friendship or you hexing me?”

Lily laughed. “I think so, but then in that case, we’re also close enough that  _ I _ can tell  _ you _ that you need to tell Max Scamander that you’re in love with him.”

Regulus met her gaze. She didn’t blink or turn away, and her green eyes were quite serious. Shit. “He’s my best friend,” Regulus said. “I  _ live _ with him. Trust me, if that weren’t the case…”

“You’ll regret it if you don’t,” Lily said, “and I might regret it if I don’t give Potter a chance. One date.”

“It’s your life,” Regulus said. “Sirius  _ is _ oddly protective of Potter, but Potter’s been mad for you for years, so I doubt Sirius will be upset, and if he is — honestly, I really think Lupin’s the one you’ve got to talk to. Even if you’re over each other — they  _ are _ best friends. And Sirius  _ will _ probably care if you hurt Lupin — even if it makes Potter happy.”

“You might have a point, there,” Lily said. “I’ll talk to Remus first.”

Regulus hoped that Lupin talked some sense into her, even if he was over her and dating Sirius. (Even if dating Sirius showed that Lupin had  _ questionable _ taste). Lily Evans deserved much better than James Potter, and Regulus couldn’t understand why she was even considering it.

“You should really talk to Max,” Lily said. “You two would be so lovely together, you know.”

“Lily.”

“There’s a war going on out there, and it’s not just going to kill people who’re directly involved. You don’t want to live with the guilt of what could have been.”

He knew that she was right; she was making a lot of sense, but he didn’t want to think about it. “It’s complicated,” Regulus said. “And he’s  _ Max.” _

“Well — regardless. I hope I’m invited to your wedding  _ when _ you marry Max.”

Regulus blushed. “I’m not going to marry Max any more than you’re going to marry Potter.”

Lily laughed. “Is that so?”

“It’ll never happen, Lily. Never.”

“Never say never,” Lily said.

* * *

Regulus tried to wrap his mind around it. Lily Evans — who he’d always considered to be brilliant while also remaining sensible and kind — actually wanted to  _ date _ James Potter. And it was all his fault.

Max seemed to notice that something was off at dinner, because he carded his fingers through Regulus’s hair and kissed his cheek. “All right?”

Oh, sweet Merlin, Lily had  _ also _ said that he would end up marrying Max, and Gus had even said they’d be happy together. If only.

“You and Isaac have known James Potter for ages, haven’t you?” he asked.

Isaac pulled a face he usually only reserved for discussion of Barty Crouch. “Unfortunately.”

“Does he have any redeeming qualities? At all, I mean.”

“That depends,” Isaac said. “Do ‘not an actual Death Eater’ and ‘technically on the morally right side of the war’ count? If not, then I doubt it.”

“Erm, that’s not really what I’m asking.”

“Isaac exaggerates,” Max said. “He’s a pompous arse, but I think it’s more a function of him being a spoiled brat. And — I mean, I know we all hate Snape, and for good reason, but Sirius really could have actually  _ killed _ him — so. I don’t think Potter saving his arse was the  _ worst _ thing in the world.”

“Potter is a bully who can’t accept no for an answer,” Isaac said. “Not letting Sirius accidentally kill someone because he’s an idiot is the bare minimum.”

“James wasn’t always very nice to Isaac,” Max said to Regulus.

Regulus furrowed his brows. “I guess that shouldn’t come as a surprise.” It fit with everything he knew about both of them, really.

“He didn’t like that I disagreed with him,” Isaac said.

“You  _ did _ disagree with him on just about everything.”

“So?” Isaac said.

“That’s just — that’s how Isaac  _ is, _ Max,” Regulus said.

“I’m Jewish, a middle child, and I was raised by Ravenclaws. I’ve always seen debate as a healthy thing. Max is just defensive because he used to fancy him.”

“Reg already knows that,” Max said. “I told him ages ago.”

Regulus  _ had _ already known that Max had used to fancy James Potter about a decade ago, and didn’t really consider that relevant information. Max had  _ definitely _ moved on, and while Regulus was fairly certain Max knew that he deserved better than him, he was absolutely positive that Max knew he deserved better than  _ James Potter. _

“Anyway, I told Jacob about it, and he made me tell Mum and Dad, and they started having one of our parents — whoever was free — supervise our lessons, and James was less of a prick.”

“Why are you asking, anyway?” Isaac asked.

“No reason,” Regulus said. “I’m just trying to figure out why he’s Head Boy.”

“Oh, that’s easy,” Isaac said. “Dumbledore plays favourites, and he favours Gryffindor bullies. I don’t think Lupin’d have been a half-bad Head Boy, even though Davies was the obvious choice.”

“Isaac’s got a point there,” Max said.

“I guarantee you if we ran the numbers, Gryffindor Heads would outnumber the other houses two to one — and that’s not even getting into Slytherin. I mean, I don’t  _ like _ Slytherins, but — Selwyn’s decent enough, and he’s surely not the  _ only _ person in his House who isn’t a pompous purist prick.”

“You’re probably right,” Regulus said.


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Regulus has a prefect patrol.

“Reg,” Dirk asked one night during patrol. Lily was even bigger on interhouse patrol than the Head Boy and Head Girl the previous year (and Regulus was sure it was Lily, and not James Potter). Gus and Gallagher has been paired together nearly all term — and even though Regulus was gay, Lily said that some school officials didn’t think it prudent to let girls and boys patrol together. Which left Dirk.

Regulus didn’t mind, really. He and Dirk were friends, and he knew Dirk was kind and fair, but not dull. He wasn’t as fun as  _ Max, _ but then who was?

“Yeah?”

“I hope this isn’t too invasive, but… are you and Max dating?”

Regulus stopped in his tracks. “What?”

“It just sort of — seems like you might be? And if you are, that’s great! We’d all be really happy for you, you know. But I suppose I was — curious.”

Regulus didn’t tell the truth, which was that he didn’t know whether or not he and Max were dating. Surely Max kissing him constantly meant  _ something, _ even if they were all quick pecks. But then he’d never actually  _ said _ anything, and Max would  _ say something _ if he thought they were dating, wouldn’t he? And Max deserved so much better than him. Maybe he’d finally realised it. He probably had. Someone like Max would never be happy with someone like him.

“No,” Regulus said. “At least I don’t think so.”

“Oh,” Dirk said. “All right, then.”

“Why do you ask?” Regulus asked.

Dirk shrugged. “Just curious.”

* * *

Slughorn’s dinner had been, all things considered, pretty normal. Crouch had glared at him, Evan Rosier had started keeping his distance (for which Regulus was grateful), there were a few new additions (including Helen Wallace, whose presence had visibly incensed Crouch, Rosier, and Snape), and he really spent most of the night talking to Max, Lily, and Dirk. Lily stayed behind afterward to have a word with Professor Slughorn about NEWTs, and so Regulus and Max started on the way upstairs to the towers without her.

“Hey, Regulus, can I talk to you for a second?”

Regulus turned to see Dirk. He looked to Max, who looked about as clueless as he felt. “Er, sure,” he said. “Max, you can go on to the tower without me.”

Max looked from Regulus to Dirk and shrugged. “Sure. I’ll see you in a few, then.” He gave Regulus a hug and a kiss on the cheek, and went off in the direction of Ravenclaw Tower. Regulus looked to Dirk.

“If this is about changing patrols, you’ll have to take that up with Lily, or Potter.”

Dirk shook his head. “It’s not,” he said. “It’s actually about Sluggy’s Christmas party.”

Regulus couldn’t think of why Dirk would possibly want to talk to him about Slughorn’s Christmas party, so after a second he asked, “What about it?”

Dirk took a deep breath. “I wanted to know if you’d go with me?”

The words made sense in an individual, abstract sense. They did  _ not  _ make sense in an immediate, present sense. Dirk was straight, Regulus had always thought, and he was a Muggleborn besides. He knew for a fact that Dirk would talk to Emmeline and Isaac about girls while he and Max sat awkwardly off to the side.

“As a date,” Dirk said after Regulus didn’t respond for a few seconds; he noticed Helen Wallace heading up to the Tower, too. “And I know you haven’t really — dated anyone, but you’re out, aren’t you…?”

He  _ was _ out, he supposed. There really hadn’t been much in the way of going back in the closet after his mother had outed him. Dirk knew for a fact that Regulus was gay — but he was also best friends with Emmeline, who seemed convinced that Regulus and Max were soulmates. “I, er, I am,” Regulus said.

“Because I’m not, er, I’m not straight. I… you know, David Bowie? No, of course you don’t know David Bowie; you’re a Pureblood…”

“I know who David Bowie is,” Regulus said, feeling mildly offended. “My brother is  _ Sirius. _ He’s sort of a self-proclaimed connoisseur of popular Muggle rock music.”

“Right,” Dirk said. “Well, David Bowie sort of — last year, he said he wasn’t  _ gay _ , he was  _ bisexual _ , and I’m, er…”

Not very good at this. “Dirk, you’re asking me on a date — I wasn’t about to continue going on thinking you were  _ straight _ .”

Dirk cleared his throat, and his face was rather pink. Regulus, in spite of himself, thought it was adorable. “ _ I’m _ bisexual, and while I suppose I haven’t been terribly  _ open _ with it, it’s not as if I’ve ever  _ hidden _ it. Emmeline knows, and I think — Isaac does, too. And Max.” He rubbed at the back of his neck.

“Are you sure you wouldn’t rather take  _ Max _ ?” Regulus asked. Max was bubbly and fun and charming. If he had a choice between going on a date with himself or with Max, he’d choose Max every time.

Dirk nodded. “I’m sure. Max is great, but he’s sort of, er… a bit much, yeah? And it’s not as if I sat down and thought of a list of all the blokes in school who date other blokes — it’s  _ you _ .”

“But  _ why _ ?” Regulus asked before he could think better of it. “That’s… what I’m struggling with.”

Comprehension dawned on Dirk’s face, and he sighed. “You’ve really got no idea, have you?”

“Evidently not.”

“You’re  _ gorgeous _ , and you’re kind and fit and responsible and I’m rambling. I think — half the school fancies you.”

Regulus furrowed his brows. What on earth? He wasn’t popular — he had a small handful of friends (and that was  _ if _ you counted his brother), and while he always tried to get along with most people, the idea that people might  _ fancy _ him was almost absurd. Almost. Dirk seemed too genuine for Regulus to dismiss it entirely — and Regulus had known him too long to think that he’d lie about something like that. “ _ Half the school?” _

“Mostly girls, I think, but I’m certainly not the only bloke.”

Evan and Crouch, sure, but who else could there possibly be? He supposed, well, Max  _ might _ be a possibility, but Max had surely gotten over him. If not, he’d have asked Regulus out by now himself. “I’m sorry; I’m having trouble wrapping my head around this. Just… give me a moment, all right?”

“Sure,” Dirk said.

People  _ liked _ him? People  _ fancied _ him? Sure, he could name a few people who he was fairly certain had fancied him through the years, but Miri Goldstein had  _ definitely _ moved on, Martin Corner had a girlfriend, Regulus had made it very clear to Crouch and Evan both that he wanted nothing to do with either of them, and Seraphina Greengrass had accepted that he was a homosexual blood traitor (her words, not his). He’d always thought Max was being  _ Max _ when he talked about how handsome he thought Regulus was, even when Isaac had agreed with him. Did  _ more _ people fancy him?

Regulus had never been overly concerned where Dirk was concerned, before. He was good-looking, to be sure (and definitely Regulus’s type: tall and lean with chestnut brown hair and blue eyes, even if his eyes weren’t as blue as Max’s — no one’s were), and he was clever, and kind (he was a Hufflepuff, after all), but he really had never given him a second thought. Not in that way, anyway.

“You’re a Muggleborn,” Regulus said after a moment. “You really wouldn’t have an issue going out with me?”

“Last I checked,” Dirk said, “you weren’t exactly up for the Pureblood son of the year award.”

That much was true. The entire school knew he was a blood traitor, and while he wasn’t  _ Sirius _ level… he still spent a lot of time with his brother. Dirk, too, knew just how many Muggleborns Regulus considered friends — hell, Dirk was  _ one _ of them.

“Besides, you’ve been friends with Lily Evans since second year.”

“No, I know. And you — we’ve been friends since third year.”

“And Mary Macdonald? And you’ve  _ never _ been racist around me. If you need time to think on it,” Dirk said, “take it. We’re both Prefects, and even though we’re coming back from Sluggy’s dinner, I still don’t think we should stay out here all night.”

No, that would be a rather bad idea. Thinking on things, though, tended to make Regulus anxious, especially when they came to interpersonal relationships. He was sixteen; he was nearly an adult. Even if he’d never gone on a  _ date _ proper before, he’d kissed boys (okay, Max and Evan), and he’d even done  _ hand stuff _ with Evan. If this date went to shit, then what did it really matter? He didn’t think Dirk would let one bad date spoil their friendship; they weren’t close enough friends for anything that. It wasn’t like with Max.

And he didn’t have any chance with Max, really. Max would go on and marry some eccentric novelist, or something, and probably someone who was Jewish, at that, who adored him and would spoil him and raise a small army of Kneazle-cat crossbreeds with him. Regulus had long thought that he’d wind up miserable — but he didn’t have to be. Besides, it was one date, and he knew he liked Dirk as a friend, at least, and knew that he was good-looking. What was the worst that could possibly happen?

“No,” Regulus said after a moment. “I don’t need to take any time. I’ll go to the Christmas party with you. I’ve just got to break it to Max — we normally go together.”

Dirk grinned. “Great!” He closed the gap between them and kissed his cheek. Regulus was struck by how  _ masculine _ he smelled — like sandalwood and citrus. It was so  _ unlike _ Max, who used that batty floral shampoo, and Regulus wasn’t quite sure why he immediately compared him to Max in the moment. “We’ll, er, talk details later, yeah?”

“Yeah, absolutely,” Regulus said.

Dirk smiled and turned toward the cellars. After a moment, Regulus realised he really ought to head toward Ravenclaw Tower.

* * *

“What’d I miss?” Max asked as Regulus entered their dormitory.

“Dirk asked me to Sluggy’s Christmas party,” Regulus said, pulling his robes off and sticking them in his hamper. He didn’t spare a look to Max, but something in his gut did churn uncomfortably at the idea of Max’s reaction.

“ _ Oh,” _ Max said. “I didn’t realise he went that way.”

“Where have you been?” Isaac asked. “He spends all of Potions staring longingly at the back of Reg’s head. It’s a miracle he hasn’t blown something up yet.”

“I’m  _ always _ Reg’s partner in Potions,” Max said. “So how would I notice what’s going on behind me?”

Regulus pulled out some pyjamas and put them on. “He said loads of people fancy me?”

“In other news,” Isaac said, “water is wet, the sky is blue, Max is gay, I’m Jewish.”

Max snorted at that. “I’ve got to agree with Isaac there. Just because I didn’t notice  _ Dirk _ , specifically…”

Regulus turned to look to his friends then. Isaac was sitting cross-legged on his bed, idly reading a book, and Max was laying upside down on his bed, book (and robes) abandoned on the floor. “I knew about Barty Crouch, obviously, and Evan Rosier and Seraphina Greengrass…”

“And Miri,” Isaac said.

Regulus felt himself blush. 

“Oh, come on, we  _ all _ knew Miri fancied you.”

“I did notice,” Regulus said. “I wasn’t sure if  _ you _ had.”

“Who do you think she badgered for insider information on you?” Isaac asked. “Not David! It was always ‘Isaac, do you think Regulus likes this’, and I had to bite my tongue and  _ not _ say that I thought you were probably gay — which you are – because I’m a good friend and a good big brother.”

“I think,” Max said, “ _ most _ gay or bi blokes  _ besides _ your brother and Lupin have, at some point, fancied you.”

Regulus nearly asked if that number included Max, but thought better of it. No need to make things awkward.

“Loads of girls, too,” Isaac said. “I have had a  _ lot _ of girls ask me if I was sure you were gay.”

“I haven’t,” Max said. “And I’m  _ actually _ gay.”

Isaac looked like he was going to address that for half a second, but appeared to think better of it. “The point is,” he said instead, “that Dirk’s right, loads of people fancy you.”

“I only ever  _ talk _ to about six people! I’m not exactly popular!”

“You’re captain of the Quidditch team — and you’re the Seeker — you’re always at the top of the class, you’re fit, you’re good-looking, and you’re always polite,” Isaac said. “If I didn’t know you snored,  _ I’d _ probably fancy you. And I’m straight.”

Max laughed at that. “I think Reg’s snoring is endearing. It’s not as if it’s loud enough to wake you up.”

“Fine, then let’s pin it on the fact that he eats pork, would never in a million years convert to Judaism, and I’m straight.”

“Fine by me,” Regulus said. He flopped down on his bed. “You’re still adamant about marrying a Jewish girl?” he asked, eager to change the subject.

“I’m still  _ sixteen _ . I’m not thinking about  _ marriage _ . But… inevitably, when we’re older… I’m not going to marry someone who won’t at least convert.”

“Just do what my Mum did,” Max said, “and get halfway through the wedding planning to find out your fiancé is days before going before the Beit Din, because the cantor mentioned it in passing.”

Isaac snorted. “I think that’s just who your dad is as a person, mate.”

“Probably,” Max agreed. “I dunno,  _ I’d _ marry a goy. It’s not as if I’ll be having kids, anyway, so l’dor v’dor is out.” 

Regulus did his best to act like that information didn’t interest him at all. Max probably didn’t really mean it; he’d probably end up marrying a Jewish wizard one way or another.

“That’s also who  _ you _ are as a person,” Isaac said. “I can’t see you having kids even if there were a way.”

“No,” Max agreed. “I can barely handle Thalia. Besides, it’s much better being the fun uncle who comes over for Shabbat dinner and some games and to give gifts. But being gay’s a great excuse to give my rabbi.”

“I’m fairly certain it’s still  _ technically _ l’dor v’dor if you’re helping your niece and nephew grow up Jewish,” Isaac said. “Even if they’re not your own kids.”

“Hm, maybe,” Max said. “But then am I, Mr. Masorti, shirking my  _ halachic responsibility _ to fulfil the very first mitzvah in the Torah by not even considering  _ adoption _ ?”

Isaac rolled his eyes. “I think  _ you _ not having kids is sparing those kids, l’dor v’dor be damned. Besides, I’m Masorti, not Orthodox, and  _ you _ don’t even think halacha is binding.”

Regulus had always  _ assumed _ he’d have kids, Before (he was the last in the line of one of the most ancient pureblood families in England, after all), and he really hadn’t given it any thought since he’d left. He didn’t think, in the moment, that he’d be missing out on anything… and Max had a point: being a fun uncle sounded  _ much _ better than raising actual  _ children _ .


	7. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Regulus goes to Slughorn's Christmas Party

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this chapter is a lot

Regulus was, truthfully, surprised that Max was still talking to him after he’d agreed to go to Slughorn’s Christmas party with Dirk. Especially after how Max had handled (or rather  _ not _ handled) the Rosier Thing, as they’d all taken to calling  _ that _ short-lived dalliance. Maybe, then, Max had moved on. The thought made Regulus’s heart ache a bit. But it was really for the best; this way, his friendship with Max would remain undamaged.

So Regulus allowed himself to get excited about his first actual date with a boy, even if he was still careful not to talk too much to Max about it. Which meant he was mostly talking to Emmeline, Mary, and Gus, as Isaac was, as always, typically studying when Regulus had free time. Studying together was nice, but it wasn’t conductive to talking about crushes. Besides — Isaac was straight, and he couldn’t relate on a gay level (like Emmeline and Gus), nor on a ‘liking blokes’ level (like Mary and Gus).

“Nigel and I went to the Muggle cinema for our first date,” Gus said on their next patrol together.

“How’s that working out?” Regulus asked. Even though  _ Dirk _ was a Muggleborn, like Nigel, Regulus hadn’t thought much on that aspect of it. Regulus, after all, had been thoroughly disowned by his family, and there was really nothing his parents could do about him dating a Muggleborn. Gus, on the other hand, didn’t have that privilege.

“Pretty well,” Gus said. “It’s difficult to find time together without my housemates knowing — and we  _ both _ think it’s best if they don’t know. But other than that.”

“Where do you two meet?”

Gus shrugged. “Empty classrooms, mostly. Although there’s a room on the seventh floor we use when we want to shag, because it’ll produce a bed for us, and that’s just better than trying to transfigure something, or shagging on desks or the floor.”

“When you — you’ve actually shagged already?” Regulus didn’t know how long they’d actually been together, but it didn’t seem like it’d been long. He knew it was less than six months, because they decidedly  _ hadn’t _ been together at the end of last school year.

“Yeah?” Gus said. “It was easier over summer when I could just Floo to the Wizarding quarter in Dublin and meet him there. He doesn’t live far, and his parents are really very supportive. Even though I’m English and from a Wizarding family. And, y’know, a bloke. Apparently Muggles, in general, have got a bigger issue with the gay thing than even families like ours.”

“But you’ve properly shagged? Not just…?” Regulus trailed off, trying to find a delicate way to phrase what he and Evan Rosier had done together.

“We’ve properly, cock-in-arse shagged, yeah. And  _ most _ of the other stuff you can think of, too. And probably some things you haven’t.”

“I — I haven’t. Shagged anyone, I mean.”

“Oh, I know,” Gus said. “Rosier was  _ very _ clear about what you  _ had _ done, and I think if you’d shagged him, he’d have had a meltdown in the locker room. And if you’d shagged  _ Scamander, _ I feel like the whole school would know.”

Of course Evan had bragged about it. He didn’t know why he’d thought he wouldn’t have. Surely any confidence they’d shared had been shattered when Regulus had said Max’s name, and not Evan’s.

“Rosier only said that sort of thing in the locker room, and only after you two — stopped,” Gus said. “He could probably tell that I’m gay, and needed to brag to someone who  _ wouldn’t _ tell his parents, and we were the only two blokes on the Slytherin Quidditch team last year.”

“Oh, I don’t care that he told people we were snogging after the fact,” Regulus said. “Max was the only one I was concerned about finding out, really, and he managed to piece it together anyway. Only  _ he _ thought I was with Crouch.”

“You weren’t worried about Goldstein?”

Regulus shrugged. “No. I knew Isaac would understand it was just physical. Which he did.”

“I’ve never had anything  _ just _ physical — it’s all only been with Nigel, really — but I don’t see why Scamander couldn’t understand that.”

“Because he’s Max,” Regulus said. “And I was right. He didn’t speak to me for two weeks after he found out.”

“Two weeks?”

“Yeah,” Regulus said. “He seems to be managing with Dirk well, though. So, I hope that’s over for good.”

* * *

“D’you think I should take Isaac or Emmeline or Miri?” Max asked. He was laying upside down on his bed, and Regulus just wanted to kiss him and run his fingers through his hair. But he couldn’t let himself think that way. He was going with  _ Dirk. _

“To Sluggy’s party?” he asked.

“Yeah.”

“Wouldn’t you rather get an actual  _ date?” _

“You’re going with Dirk,” Max said. “Fair is fair — he asked, and I didn’t.”

Regulus couldn’t tell if Max was joking or not. Surely if Max genuinely fancied him, he’d have said something already, but he hadn’t. He knew how bad Regulus’s anxiety was about everything else; he  _ had _ to know that it extended to this, too. That his anxiety  _ wasn’t _ disinterest.

“Well, Isaac will spend all night staring at Lily if you bring him, and she’s with Potter now,  _ somehow. _ Still don’t understand that, personally, but — it  _ is _ something to consider.”

Max pulled a face. “Good point. Isaac mooning over girls he’s got no chance with serves  _ none _ of us any good.”

“And you and Miri together just might bring the entire castle down.”

“You say that like it’s a bad thing.”

“Max.”

“All right, all right,” Max said. “I’ll bring Emmeline. She’s fun, but she knows to curb my more ridiculous bullshit.”

“Good choice,” Regulus said.

“You’re not going to spend the whole night with Dirk and just ignore me, are you?”

“As if I could  _ ever _ ignore you, Max.”

* * *

He met Dirk in the Entrance Hall, and Max and Emmeline trailed behind him. Dirk was wearing simple dress robes, for which Regulus was grateful. His own dress robes were a bit old (not even  _ last season _ anymore), and fit him oddly now, though at least they were high quality and still looked nice. Really, he knew he was most likely nitpicking; he hadn’t grown terribly since the robes had been tailored, and now they were just a bit tighter in the shoulders and chest than they ought to have been. He’d have to ask Isaac if they would do for David’s wedding over winter hols, and if not, he’d have to buy a new set.

“Wow,” Dirk said. “Reg, you look…”

Regulus felt himself blush. “Thanks,” he said. “You look great, too.”

Dirk blushed. “Thanks. Er — shall we?” He reached for Regulus’s hand, and Regulus took it. He felt a small thrill at the action. He was on a date with another boy, and actually  _ holding his hand. _ He knew it was a bit silly, because he’d done loads more with Evan — he ought to have been confident — but this was different from all that. More intimate, somehow.

They walked as a group to Slughorn’s office, but Regulus and Dirk held hands the whole way. They all made easy conversation, even Max, who was acting strangely  _ normal. _ Like he didn’t care that Regulus was on a date with someone who wasn’t him. And maybe he didn’t.

But Regulus was certain that he wasn’t imagining the glares Evan Rosier and Crouch both sent his way when they came in and saw him holding hands with Dirk.

“I did, admittedly, neglect to consider that two Slytherins are sort of obsessed with you when I asked you here,” Dirk said.

Regulus waved his free hand. “Crouch is still afraid that I’ll set him on fire again, and Evan’s still desperate for my approval, so I think we’re fine; they’ll glare, but they won’t do anything.”

“I still think setting Crouch on fire was brilliant,” Max said. “I wish I’d been there.”

“I could have gotten  _ expelled,” _ Regulus said. “I might well have if the circumstances had been different. And I really doubt the — Rosier Thing would have happened if I hadn’t lit Crouch on fire, really.”

Max frowned. “Why not? That was before the… Rosier Thing started, wasn’t it? By like, a month?”

Oh, right. He realised too late that he’d told Max (and everyone else) that the Rosier Thing had started when they’d met in the spare classroom for the first time. Not when they’d had detention together. “Well, first, Rosier caught me outside of Flitwick’s office and was surprisingly  _ normal _ about the whole thing, which drove me mad because he was the  _ only  _ one being normal about everything. And then we had detention together, and I’m really not convinced that he’d have done — whatever he did to Crouch to get detention — if he hadn’t run into me then. And during that detention, he made it very clear that he’d do whatever I wanted. It  _ was _ a month before we — did anything. Well. No, we  _ did _ kiss.”

Dirk snorted and held tight to Regulus’s hand, but Max looked like he didn’t know whether to be furious or hurt. “I’m going to say hello to Lily,” Max said, scanning the room for her. “Jewish solidarity and all.” He walked off

“That went about as well as I’d expected,” Regulus said.

“He’ll be fine,” Emmeline said. “Lily’s with James Potter, so Max’ll have something else to be annoyed about in about a minute. But I do see Adrian and Helen, so I’ll tactfully leave you two alone.” She walked over to where Adrian and Helen were talking with a little wave, leaving Regulus and Dirk alone.

“For what it’s worth,” Dirk said,  _ “I _ don’t care that you snogged Rosier. It’s clearly over, and it’s been over for more than half a year. And you really don’t seem to like him much at all. And I’m not — I’m not saying that to — compete with Max, or anything, but… I know you worry about these sorts of things, and I want to make it clear that, to me, at least, the past is the past. I don’t care how racist your parents are, or how racist you  _ used _ to be, or that you got a handjob from a Death Eater-to-be, or gave him one.”

“Oh,” Regulus said. “Thanks, Dirk.”

“It’s the truth,” Dirk said. “And honesty’s sort of a Hufflepuff thing, isn’t it?”

Regulus wasn’t sure about  _ that, _ but it was nice.

* * *

He and Dirk walked to the Entrance Hall together, having already sent Max and Emmeline ahead. Barring Max’s strange behaviour when Regulus had let slip that he’d kissed Evan earlier than he’d initially implied (and from which Max had recovered within fifteen minutes of talking to Lily Evans and James Potter), it had been a pleasant night. He’d eaten a lot of good food, talked to his friends, and James Potter had clearly been on his best behaviour for Lily’s sake. And, well, Dirk was nice. And cute. And smart. And fun to be around.

He wasn’t  _ Max, _ or even Rosier. But only Max was Max, and Max was off limits. Regulus had learned his lesson about boys like Rosier, too — charming couldn’t make up for racist and awful, and it wasn’t worth snogging them just because they were gorgeous and charming.

But Dirk was nice. And he’d held tight to Regulus’s hand all night, even when Crouch had come over to annoy Regulus. It was really nice, actually.

“You know,” Dirk said as they stood together in the Entrance Hall, neither quite ready to leave, “I’ve fancied you for a while, actually.”

“You — you have?” Regulus asked. He really hadn’t noticed, but he knew better than to say as much outright.

“Yeah,” Dirk said. “Em eventually got so sick of me that she told me if I didn’t tell you, she would.”

“That sounds like her.”

Dirk chuckled. “Yeah. I know she wouldn’t have  _ actually, _ but — it kicked my arse into gear. So I’m glad she did.”

“I did have a really great time tonight,” Regulus said. “Really.”

Dirk grinned. “Me, too. I know hols are — tomorrow, and — we’ll be a bit far from each other, but if you’d like to… maybe try to meet up somewhere in the middle? Bristol, or something?”

“Yeah, that’d be great!” Regulus said. “I told Sirius I’d spend Christmas with him, and he’ll probably hold me hostage over Boxing Day, too, but you’ve probably got plans with your family then, anyway. And I’ve got David’s wedding on the twenty-eighth, but besides that.”

“All right,” Dirk said. “We’ll work it out. I’ve got an owl. We can write.”

“Yeah,” Regulus agreed.

Dirk was still standing there, and Regulus wasn’t quite sure why, until Dirk asked, “Reg?”

“Yeah?”

“Can I kiss you?”

Regulus had, somehow, not expected this. He didn’t know why — they’d gone on a proper date, and it’d gone well. Of course Dirk would want to kiss him.

“Er — yeah,” Regulus said. “Yeah. That’d be nice.”

Dirk smiled. “All right. Great.” He stepped closer, and kissed Regulus quickly and chastely on the lips. It wasn’t entirely unlike the little pecks that Max seemed to give him constantly anymore. Dirk didn’t try to deepen the kiss, and pulled away after just a second or two. “I’ll, er, see you tomorrow? On the train?”

“Yeah, definitely,” Regulus said.

Dirk grinned and leaned back in to kiss him on the cheek. “Brilliant. We should, er, go back to our common rooms. I dunno about you, but I’ve got a connection from London to Swansea after the Hogwarts Express tomorrow.”

“I don’t, but I’m sure Max’ll keep me busy until well past midnight regardless.”

“Does he ever sleep?”

“I think he stays up until he can’t anymore, and then sleeps through half the day. I get a lot of reading done over hols.”

Dirk laughed. “So we should both get to sleep.”

“Yeah.” On impulse, Regulus kissed his cheek. “See you tomorrow morning.”

“Yeah. Tomorrow.”

* * *

“You’re practically glowing,” Isaac said when Regulus came into the dormitory. Max was sitting on his bed, writing in a bound journal.

“What?”

“He means your date,” Max said. “You look happy.”

“I am, I think,” Regulus said. He turned to Isaac. “And before I change, Isaac, do you think these are all right for David’s wedding? They’re a bit tight in the chest and shoulders anymore, so I can get new ones if I need to.”

Isaac gave him the once over. “They’re fine. I wouldn’t think that was unintentional if you hadn’t told me.”

“Dirk probably thought you were showing off,” Max said, and it was  _ really weird _ that he wasn’t acting  _ weird. _

“We’ve got a date,” Regulus said, starting to undress. “Another one, I mean. Over hols. He says Bristol, since it’s about halfway.”

“Honestly, Reg, can I get  _ half _ your luck with romance?” Isaac asked. “It seems like every gay or bi bloke in the school fancies either you or your brother.”

“Except Selwyn, but maybe he just doesn’t go for white blokes,” Max said. “And I’d say Gallagher, but he’s shagged your brother already. So.” Was that a confession on Max’s part? But surely if Max fancied him, he’d say something. Unless he, like Regulus, was too nervous to make a move. No. Regulus couldn’t let himself get in that line of thought again. It wasn’t productive.

“You can date Corner, if you’d like,” Regulus said. “And the only girl who’s ever properly fancied me, I think, besides your  _ sister, _ is Seraphina Greengrass.”

Isaac pulled a face. “All right; I get your point. But still — a second date’s exciting. In Muggle Bristol. That sounds —  _ very _ romantic.”

Regulus shrugged. “I don’t know anything about wizarding life in Wales, and it seems unfair to make him come all the way to Dorset on Muggle transit just to sit around the house or go to the seaside. I’m sure there’s more to do in Bristol.”

“He’s got a point,” Max said. Why was he so okay with this? Why did Regulus  _ want _ him to be jealous? Dirk was perfectly nice, and Regulus could see things developing well with him. He didn’t need to still be caught up in Max. “I’ll just come bother you in London while they’re on their date.”

Isaac rolled his eyes. “Of course you will.”


	8. Chapter 8

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's Christmas. Regulus visits his brother.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> one of these days i'll get a holiday chapter to match up

Regulus had to hand it to his brother: he’d managed to get the Chelsea townhouse all decked out for Christmas in just two days. It was impressive. Regulus was assaulted by the red and green and gold and pine the moment he came through the Floo.

“Was all of this really necessary?” Regulus asked.

Sirius gasped melodramatically. “Do you know me  _ at all, _ my darling brother?”

Regulus shot Remus Lupin a look, who shrugged. “I just arrived last night. This was all already done. I suspect he might have inherited a House Elf he hasn’t told anyone about.”

“No,” Regulus said. “It would have been listed. Probably went to Dorian Rosier.”

“So,” Sirius said, throwing an arm around Regulus’s shoulder. “A little bird — or, rather, a little  _ deer —  _ told me that you made an appearance at Sluggy’s party with a certain Muggleborn Hufflepuff boy and  _ not _ Max Scamander, as we have long suspected?”

“Tell James Potter to mind his own business,” Regulus said.

_ “Have _ you got a new boyfriend? I mean,  _ anyone’s _ a step up from Rosier, of course — except, like, Crouch, or some other Death Eater — but I really sort of thought you and Max were… y’know? Together.”

“Max and I aren’t together,” Regulus said. 

“So him kissing you every ten minutes is — what?”

“I dunno,” Regulus said, which was the truth. He still couldn’t figure out what to make of it.

“Merlin, you’re so dense,” Sirius said, ruffling his hair. “You’re dating Scamander, and now you’ve got a second boyfriend.” He sniffled in what was surely just dramatics. “I’m so proud.”

Lupin rolled his eyes. “Pads, come off it.”

“Moony, come on, he’s dating a Welsh prefect with a Muggle mother  _ and _ a Half-Blood Jewish boy. And two boys at once. Like he  _ doesn’t _ take after me.”

“I don’t think I’ve ever been more offended in my life,” Regulus said. And to think that both Dirk and Max had things in common with Remus was strange. “And I’m not dating Max. He’s actually been — oddly supportive of me and Dirk. It’s sort of weird that he’s not acting  _ more _ weird.”

“Right, because he’s learned by now that throwing a fit and not speaking to you for weeks when you snog someone else when he  _ hasn’t _ told you he’s madly in love with you and only wants to be with you is generally unproductive, and only serves to damage your friendship.”

“Max isn’t in love with me,” Regulus said.

“Reg.”

“He’s not,” Regulus said. “If he were, he’d have said something by now. He’s not. We’re best friends, and he’s a bit more affectionate than most of my friends — all right,” he amended, catching both Sirius and Remus’s incredulous looks, “he’s a  _ lot _ more affectionate than most of my friends, but he’s not in love with me. He’s actually told me multiple times that he just wants to be my best friend. So. There’s nothing. I mean, not  _ nothing, _ but nothing beyond friendship.”

“If you say so,” Sirius said.

“As for Dirk,” Regulus said, “we went on one date. He’s not my boyfriend, either.”

“Are you going on a second?”

Regulus knew it was better to just tell Sirius the truth and deal with it than to try to lie to him and have to try to keep up with it. “Yes.”

“All right, so that’s looking good,” Sirius said. “Mum would be terribly disappointed, which means I’m  _ extremely _ proud, of course.”

“What will it take to get you to shut up and keep from nosing around my love life — or lack thereof?”

“Absolutely nothing,” Sirius said. “You’re stuck with me being overly involved, Reggie.”

_ “Don’t _ call me that.”

“Fine, fine,” Sirius said. “But you  _ are _ stuck with me being overly involved.” 

* * *

Sirius had, predictably, invited the Potters over for Christmas dinner, and James showed up at five to help cook. Which, as it turned out, was rather more of a task than they were capable of. Remus relaxed in the sitting room while Sirius and James started to panic (at least if the sounds coming out of the kitchen were anything to go by).

Regulus wondered if he ought to help, and said as much to Remus, who smirked.

“Feel free. Sirius told me to, and I quote, ‘sit my gorgeous arse down and not lift a finger’. I’m just waiting to see how long until I need to go for takeaway.”

“You think you will?”

“Regulus, I think it’ll be a miracle if they don’t burn down the house.”

That sounded… entirely within the realm of possibility. 

“Perhaps I should help, then,” Regulus said. 

Remus shrugged. “Suit yourself.”

Regulus ventured into the kitchen. He didn’t know what he’d expected, but the scene he found was somehow worse: Sirius was covered in what appeared to be gravy, there were bits of food all over the kitchen, and James was pouring water from his wand onto what appeared to be a very burnt lump of… something.

“You’ve been in here half an hour,” Regulus said, looking around the room. There was a disturbing red stain on the table that he thought it best not to ask about.

“Right, well,” James started, “what happened was –”

“Have either of you actually cooked before?” Regulus asked.

Sirius rolled his eyes. “What, like  _ you _ have?”

“Actually, yeah, I have,” Regulus said. “I’ve even cooked the Muggle way.” He cast a glance around the room. “Though I suppose for the sake of time, if you’d like me to help, I’ll have to use magic. You lot should obscure the Trace, anyway.”

“We don’t need your help,” Sirius said. “We can do it on our own, isn’t that right, Prongs?”

James looked doubtful. “I dunno, Pads. Maybe Baby Black has a point.”

_ “Please _ tell me you don’t  _ actually _ call me that when I’m not around,” Regulus said.

James shrugged. “What’s your plan?”

“It’s just the four of us and your parents?” Regulus asked. “Is Lily coming?” He’d never discussed cooking with Lily, though he imagined she was probably at least competent, as she was with most things.

James nodded. “Yeah! She said she’ll bring wine, and that I’d better not ask her about Christmas. Because, well.”

“She’s Jewish, yes, I’m aware,” Regulus said. “You do know I’ve been friends with her for four years now, don’t you? And that my best friends are Jewish.”

“You can invite Max, you know,” Sirius said. “So you don’t feel awkward, or whatever. I’d say Dirk, but he’s not of age, and he lives in Wales, and it’s a bit short notice for all that. But whichever of your boyfriends. Or both.”

“I haven’t got a boyfriend,” Regulus said. “And Max knows both of you, but I hardly think I’d subject Dirk to that if I want to have another date.”

“Well, Max can help cook.”

Regulus laughed. “Max is probably a worse cook than either of you.” Although… some help wouldn’t be a bad idea. He didn’t know if he could manage it all on his own. “Sirius, go get a shower. James — ask Lily if she wouldn’t mind coming a bit early to help. I’ll Floo Isaac. He knows how to cook, at least.” And he was in London, with ready access to the Floo.

Surprisingly, they did as they were asked with only minimal grumbling, and Regulus headed to the Floo first and put in the direction for Isaac’s house. When he stuck his head in, Isaac was sat on the sofa, reading a book.

“Before you say anything, I  _ know _ you’re Jewish and don’t want anything to do with Christmas, and that’s fine, but I’m concerned if I let Sirius back into the kitchen, he’ll burn the house down.”

Isaac raised an eyebrow. “How bad was it?”

“Quite bad,” Regulus said. “I’ve still not cleaned everything up, but — Potter’s parents are coming, and they’re lovely, and I don’t want to subject them to takeaway because my brother is an idiot.”

Isaac sighed. “Well, I  _ have _ just got back from the cinema, and Miri’s been — well, Miri. And everyone’s completely mental about David’s wedding. So all right. But I’m not staying for dinner.”

“Wouldn’t expect you to,” Regulus said. “Though you’d be welcome if you’d like to.”

“I wouldn’t,” Isaac said. “Have you told Max?”

“Sirius is under the delusion that Max and I are  _ boyfriends, _ so no; I’m not subjecting him to that.”

Isaac’s face settled into an expression Regulus didn’t quite like. “All right. You’re in Chelsea, aren’t you?”

“Yeah,” Regulus said, and he gave him the direction for the Floo. “Thank you so much! I really owe you!”

* * *

When Lily walked into the kitchen, Isaac very nearly dropped the pan he was carrying. They’d gotten the kitchen spotless, and they’d really just started preparing dinner.

“Lily! Hello!” Regulus greeted, kissing her on the cheek. He didn’t think he’d ever done that before, but Lily didn’t seem to mind.

“Hello,” Lily said. “And Isaac — I didn’t know you’d be here.”

“Yeah, well — Reg said he needed help, and it’s not as if I’ve plans on Christmas. My cousin and I just got back from the cinema when he Flooed.”

“Oh?” 

“Yeah,” he said. “We always go.”

“That’s a Muggle tradition, isn’t it?” Lily asked.

Isaac nodded. “Well, my mum’s a Muggleborn, and my gran — my dad’s mum — is a Muggle, and my cousin is a Muggle, too. So.”

“It’s so nice that you’re still close with your Muggle family,” Lily said. “It seems like a lot of people just sort of — well, it’s not that they ignore their family, but they assimilate totally into the Wizarding World. It’s always made me sort of uncomfortable, really.”

“We’re Jewish,” Isaac said. “I’ve got loads more in common with Muggle Jews than I’d ever have in common with him.” He jerked his thumb toward Regulus.

“Thanks, mate,” Regulus said.

“It’s the truth,” Isaac said. “I mean,  _ obviously, _ I’ve got more in common with other Jewish witches and wizards than anyone else, but — if I had to pick. I’m not going to prioritise magic over my community.”

“Right,” Lily said. “And you really don’t have to pick. Not that you should.”

“Lovely as this is,” Regulus said, “And I really don’t want to be a prick here, but can we maybe talk  _ whilst _ we cook? Sirius will never let me live it down if I do a worse job than him.”

Isaac rolled his eyes. “Given how this kitchen looked when I got here, I can’t imagine that happening.”

“Even so,” Regulus said. “If Lupin has to order takeaway…”

“I think Remus has a bit more faith in  _ you _ than that,” Lily said, but she went to the sink to wash her hands. “How can I help?”

He directed her — and Isaac, too — and by the time Sirius came back to tell them that Mr. and Mrs. Potter had arrived, they’d nearly finished everything.

“Honestly, Isaac, if you’d like to stay, there’s more than enough food.” Regulus knew, of course, that Isaac wasn’t about to accept — Christmas dinner, no matter who was there (and Lily and Remus were Jewish, too), was still  _ Christmas  _ dinner.

“Thanks, but no,” Isaac said. “Honestly. It’s not even kosher; I can’t eat anything, anyway.”

“All right,” Regulus agreed. “Thought I’d offer, at least.” He was a bit unsure of what to do with himself; he and Isaac really didn’t see each other that often without Max there. In the end, he pulled Isaac into a quick hug, which he almost immediately regretted. Isaac wasn’t much of a touchy person, and he really only seemed to tolerate Max’s hugs.

To Regulus’s surprise, though, Isaac chuckled. “Max has worn off on you.”

* * *

The one credit Regulus had to give James Potter — well, all right, there were two. The first was that he actually seemed to genuinely be completely enamoured with Lily. And, well, Regulus couldn’t blame him there. He was gay, of course, so it wasn’t as if  _ he _ were enamoured with Lily, but he knew better than most people how lovely she was, and that she deserved someone who adored her.

And, weirdly enough, James Potter seemed to adore her. Perhaps that wasn’t strange. Lily was clever and pretty and sure of herself and she was, quite frankly, a damn good witch. What was strange was watching James Potter, whom Regulus had always felt lukewarm about at best, seem to genuinely care about someone besides himself or Sirius (or, all right, maybe Lupin).

The other thing Regulus had to give James Potter credit for was that he didn’t let Sirius take credit for the meal. Though, really, that might have just been because Lily had helped. Or even just because Lily was there. Regulus wasn’t totally charitable about his motivations.

“Regulus really only stepped in after Sirius and James nearly burnt down the kitchen,” Remus added helpfully, which earned him a sharp glare from Sirius.

“You’re  _ my _ boyfriend,” Sirius whined. “You’re meant to be on my side!”

“I’m on whichever side doesn’t end in you burning down your house on Christmas,” Remus said.

“Well, Regulus,” Mr. Potter said, “Lily — the food is delicious. You’re sure your friend didn’t want to stay?”

“He can’t eat it,” Regulus said. “It’s not kosher.”

Remus shrugged. “I guess not  _ really,” _ he said. “Though I’ve never quite kept kosher myself.”

“Isaac does,” Regulus said. “Max too, I think. Though everything Isaac talks about not being kosher is meat, and Max doesn’t eat meat.”

“Are you sure about that?” Sirius asked, and it  _ could _ have, in theory, been an innocent question, but Regulus knew better, and shot his brother a dirty look.

“If you’re trying to ask if Max and I have slept together, the answer to that is no.”

“Not yet,” Sirius corrected. “It’ll happen.”

“You see what I had to put up with,” Regulus said to Lily.

Lily smiled. “I actually sort of agree with him. Though I’d not say it like that.”

“I’m dating  _ Dirk,”  _ Regulus said. “I went to Sluggy’s Christmas party with him, and we’re going on a date next week. Max doesn’t — he doesn’t want me like that, and that’s fine.”

“Max  _ definitely _ wants you like that,” Sirius said. “He has stars in his eyes whenever he looks at you.”

“Now you’re making  _ me _ agree with Sirius,” Lily said. “Again.”

“Maybe Potter’s rubbed off on you,” Regulus said.

“Oi, I’ve been on my best behaviour!” Potter said.

“I’m not going to press,” Lily said. “But you should at least talk to him about it.”

He wasn’t going to talk to Max about it. That would only end in disappointment and heartbreak. Dirk was nice, and he was fit, and, most importantly: if things got fucked up with Dirk, they’d never been that close to begin with. If things got fucked up with Max (which they would, inevitably, if Max, for some reason, ever forgot himself enough to go out with him), Regulus would be risking his closest friendship. He couldn’t risk that.


	9. Chapter 9

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Regulus goes to Isaac's brother's wedding

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ymmv in terms of Jewish weddings - this was definitely modelled more after egalitarian US-Conservative (which is more in line with British Reform) Jewish weddings because that's what I'm most familiar with (and I figure the wizarding world has egalitarian and pluralistic Jewish weddings)

Regulus wasn’t sure why he’d been invited to David Goldstein’s wedding. Of course, Isaac was one of his best friends, but he didn’t think it was standard practise to invite your siblings’ friends to your wedding. When he asked Max, Max just shrugged and said, “Isaac  _ does _ get as anxious as you do about things. Besides, his parents love us, and David probably thinks we’ll keep Isaac and Miri from arguing too much.”

“They  _ do _ argue a lot,” Regulus agreed.

“They’re both too stubborn to admit defeat,” Max said. “It’s right exhausting to deal with sometimes, Reg, honestly. I think that’s one of the best parts about you living here.”

“What? Me visiting Isaac with you?”

“Exactly! Because then I don’t have to sit there while he and Miri argue over the stupidest things. One time they argued over which mug I should use for tea. Honestly. A  _ mug.” _

Regulus couldn’t exactly say that he thought this was unlikely to have happened exactly as Max described. “I suppose more people around serve as a buffer.”

“Which is why David’s invited us,” Max said. “Besides, Isaac’s going to read one of the blessings. In Hebrew, of course, because he’s Isaac.”

“Blessings?” Regulus asked.

“Yeah,” Max said. “There’s seven blessings that need to be read at a Jewish wedding. Apparently. I’ve actually not been to a wedding before. But I know the gist.” He waved a hand idly. “Mum and Dad are going, too, of course, but they’ve actually been to weddings. I mean, they’re married, so they’ve  _ had _ a wedding.”

Regulus didn’t know why he couldn’t help himself, but he asked, “Do you think you’ll have a Jewish wedding?”

Max looked him up and down before responding. “Probably, yeah. Unless my husband really doesn’t want to, but I don’t see why he wouldn’t. Most goyische Wizards aren’t religious — though I guess there are the Catholics.”

“Catholics?”

“I don’t think any of them are Purebloods,” Max said. “Though I  _ think _ you can convert, so maybe. They’re mostly over in Ireland. Or France or Italy or America. There’s not a  _ load _ of them, not compared to nonreligious Wizards.”

“And what are Catholics?” Regulus asked. He thought he’d heard the term in passing before, but he didn’t completely know what it meant.

“They’re a kind of Christian. So like. I dunno how to explain it. We can ask my parents. They’d know. Or Gallagher’s probably Catholic, actually. Maybe there are other religious Wizards, but in Britain — well, there’d be Muslims, too, probably. Hindus and Sikhs, too, I think. Again: my parents would know better than me.”

“But you want a Jewish wedding?”

“Yeah,” Max said after a moment. “It’s not a dealbreaker if — if my husband doesn’t. I mean, it wouldn’t be one. I’m not like Isaac. I don’t need to marry another Jew, and I don’t need a Jewish wedding — though I think I’d like to have a Jewish wedding if I could. I dunno how goysiche weddings are different, really, but I don’t think they’ve got the ketubah or chuppah. Maybe they do. I dunno, really.”

“Those don’t sound familiar,” Regulus said. “At Narcissa’s wedding, it was her and her husband in a ballroom in Malfoy Manor, and they had some friends up front with them — and there was a Ministry Witch who actually did the ceremony.”

“No canopy?”

Regulus shook his head. “And no blessings, either. The Ministry Witch led the whole thing. I think all Cissa and Lucius said was ‘I do’.”

“Then I guess it  _ is _ different,” Max said. “You’ll have to tell me how after David’s wedding.”

* * *

The wedding venue was the same synagogue where Isaac had had his bar mitzvah. This time, rather than navigate Muggle public transit again, Regulus Flooed in.

Miri greeted him almost immediately. “Isaac and David are already about to kill each other,” she said cheerfully. “How was your date with Dirk?”

“Should we, er, intervene?” Regulus asked.

“Oh, no,” Miri said. “David’s stressed and Isaac’s never taken well to being bossed around, but it’s almost time for the Tisch, so Isaac’ll get that all out of his system then. Besides, he gets to read the  _ Hebrew _ of the fourth blessing, so he can show off, too. I’m stuck with the English even though I’m a bas mitzvah, because Zeyde got all — how he does.”

“How is that?” Regulus asked. He thought he’d heard the term  _ Zeyde _ before, but he didn’t think this was anyone he’d met before.

“Zeyde is where Isaac gets his stubbornness from,” Miri said, holding her chin up defiantly. “And his bossiness, too.”

_ “Just _ Isaac?” asked a young woman with dark hair and dark eyes. Regulus had definitely not met her before, but she looked far too much like Isaac (and Miri, too, for that matter) to  _ not _ be a relative. She was wearing what appeared to be a Muggle dress, though she didn’t look totally comfortable in it, so that didn’t say anything about which side of the family she was on.

“You, too,” Miri said. “Reg, this is Ruthie, our cousin on our mum’s side. Ruthie, this is Regulus. He’s one of Isaac’s best friends,  _ and _ he’s a prefect  _ and _ captain of our Quidditch team at school.”

“Pleasure to finally meet you, Regulus,” Ruthie said.

Regulus couldn’t imagine what Isaac had said about him. “You, too,” he said. “I’ve heard a lot about you.” She was, after all, doubtlessly the lesbian cousin whom Isaac adored. He didn’t think Isaac had  _ two _ cousins with the same name, anyway.

“Oh, Regulus is gay, too,” Miri said.

“Which is the most relevant aspect of my personality, surely,” Regulus said. 

“Well, it’s something you’ve got in common,” Miri said. “It’s not as if Ruthie plays Quidditch or takes Arithmancy.”

“Has Max arrived yet?” Ruthie, mercifully, asked instead of addressing that. Regulus tried to shoot her a look that conveyed how grateful he was. Miri was really much too much to deal with. She and Max got along famously, but Regulus felt drained after a few minutes with her.

“He said he’d be right through,” Regulus said.

“Is Max your date?” Miri asked.

“Miri, you know as well as anyone else that I just went to Slughorn’s Christmas party with Dirk. You  _ just _ asked me about it.” Max didn’t want him like that, and that was fine.

“Why didn’t you go with Max?” Miri asked.

“Miri,” Regulus said. He  _ really _ didn’t want to get into that in front of Isaac’s entire family.

“And Isaac and I are the  _ only _ ones who take after Zeyde,” Ruthie said.

“Regulus is  _ gay,” _ Miri said. “And I think he should date  _ Max. _ Not some random goyische Hufflepuff.”

“You’re a regular shadchan,” Ruthie said. “What do Max and Regulus have to say about that?”

Regulus felt someone clap his shoulder. “Reg’s got a boyfriend,” Max said, though he kept his hand on Regulus’s shoulder. “He’s a Welsh goy.”

“I dunno if Dirk is my  _ boyfriend,” _ Regulus said. “We haven’t quite discussed all that yet.”

“All right, but  _ you _ two are still going to get married,” Miri said. “Mark my words.”

“Reg and Dirk?” Max asked.

“No,” Miri said. “Reg and  _ you.” _

“You know what?” Ruthie said. “I think they’re about to start with the Tisch — we should find Isaac, and make sure he and David don’t actually kill each other. It’ll give Miri a break from trying to become a shadchan.”

Regulus didn’t know what that word meant, but he was eager enough to get out of his current situation that he agreed readily.

The three of them followed Ruthie to a reception hall, where a load of people were milling about, talking. Regulus caught sight of David, wearing a suit, tallis, and yarmulke. He’d never really thought about it before, but he was struck suddenly by the fact that David was handsome. Of course, David was straight, literally minutes away from marrying a witch, and he was Isaac’s older brother (and Isaac  _ definitely _ had a complex about it), and that wasn’t really taking into account how  _ serious _ he was all of the time, but… still.

“You think Isaac would kill me if I told him David looks fit today?” Max asked, probably too loudly.

“I think I’m about to be sick,” Miri said. “Seriously —  _ David?” _

“I’m not saying I’d  _ do _ anything,” Max said, “but he looks fit today. Right, Reg?”

Regulus could feel Miri’s eyes burning into him. “David’s really not my type,” he said.

“Do you not like nice Jewish boys?” Miri asked, an edge to her voice.

“It’s not that he’s Jewish,” Regulus said. “It’s that he’s  _ David. _ He’s so serious all the time. I think this is probably the first time I’ve seen him smile like that.”

“You’ve got a point,” Max said. 

“But you’d date a Jewish boy?” Miri asked.

Regulus felt himself blush. “Yeah, of course,” he said. “Not  _ David, _ but yeah.”

“You have  _ got _ to wonder what she sees in him,” Max said. “He must have a huge –”

“Max, if you finish that sentence, I swear to god our friendship will be over.”

“Isaac! I didn’t see you there!” Max pulled him into a hug.

Isaac rolled his eyes. “Really didn’t need to know that you think my brother’s fit.”

“You think my brother’s fit, and Reg’s, too, so I think we’re square.”

“I  _ do not!” _ Isaac protested. He pushed Max away. “How many times do I have to tell you that I’m straight for you to believe me?”

“Max is just trying to get a rise out of you,” Regulus said quickly. It was a lie, of course (and he was, truthfully, not inclined to disagree with Max’s assertion), but he knew better than Max that acting that way around Isaac clearly made him uncomfortable. If Isaac wasn’t straight, it really  _ wasn’t _ Max’s place to push him on it. “Anyway, you look great!”

Isaac preened a bit. “You think so?”

“Yeah, definitely!” Regulus said, which was the truth. Isaac was wearing navy dress robes, which suited him. His hair was brushed back with a yarmulke (navy, to match the dress robes) pinned in place. Isaac was — and Regulus had always acknowledged this — quite handsome. 

“I dunno that navy’s your colour, though,” Max said. 

“Thanks, Max,” Isaac said, rolling his eyes.

“You do look good! But I’d have gone with something a bit warmer, personally.”

The rabbi came out and announced that the Tisch, whatever that was (it meant “table” in German, but Regulus wasn’t sure the two words were related at all), was about to start. Isaac weaved his way to the front, dragging Regulus and Max along with him. 

David sat at a table with Cassandra (was she his wife yet? Or was that only after the wedding was over?).

“Zeyde had a fit over that,” Ruthie whispered. “Doesn’t think it’s proper for women to be in the room during the Tisch, but David wouldn’t have it.”

“Traditionally, the men and women are in separate rooms for this bit,” Isaac said.

“Shmuley put up with it,” Ruthie said. “But then Auntie Sosh isn’t Orthodox anymore, much as Zeyde hates that.”

“Shmuley’s Ruthie’s brother,” Isaac added. “He got married a few years ago.”

David started reading something out loud, and Isaac, along with virtually everyone else in the room, started singing something loudly in a language Regulus didn’t understand, but assumed was probably Hebrew.

This continued for a while, but eventually, David seemed to finish reading whatever it was he was reading, and everyone clapped. The rabbi started talking about something Regulus didn’t totally understand, but Max leaned in to whisper, “See that parchment he’s holding? That’s the marriage contract.”

He wasn’t close enough to make out the details, but something about it looked vaguely familiar. “Do your parents have one?”

“Oh, yeah, of course,” Max said. “It’s hanging up in the foyer, right when you walk in. Of course, theirs has creatures on it. I don’t know that David’s does.”

Isaac elbowed them both and gave them a meaningful look to  _ shut up, _ so Regulus did. Two people Regulus had never seen before came up to the table and signed the contract, and then there was a whole ceremony where David covered Cassandra’s face with her veil (Cissa had simply had her House Elf put hers on before she’d left the bridal suite), and then Max and Isaac were leading him into the sanctuary.

He sat between them in a pew, and watched the rest of the ceremony. There was a canopy, as promised, which David and Cassandra stood under after they were escorted inside. He watched as Cassandra circled David, and then as the rabbi said something in what Regulus assumed was Hebrew and offered wine to the couple.

He had half a mind to ask Isaac (who seemed to know what was going on better than Max) if it was normal that David put a ring on Cassandra’s finger so early. That had been the last thing Cissa and her husband had done.

The rabbi then started saying something, and Regulus realised after a moment that he was reading the marriage contract. He translated it aloud, though Regulus rather thought this was more for the benefit of Cassandra’s family (who was, after all, not Jewish) than out of strict tradition. When he was finished, he handed the contract to David, who handed it to Cassandra.

Afterward, the rabbi called for those who would be reciting the blessings, and Isaac, Miri, and Ruthie, all got up and walked to the raised platform where Isaac’s parents were standing next to the canopy. From what Regulus could piece together, everyone involved was related to David, though he wasn’t sure if that was normal, and the men took turns speaking in what Max assured him in a whisper was Hebrew, and the women said the English. The rabbi introduced each person in Hebrew and English before they spoke.

When that was finished, the rabbi wrapped a glass in a cloth and set it under David’s foot. David stomped on it, and it broke with a loud pop. Most of the room shouted “mazel tov!”, and David kissed Cassandra. The two of them were escorted out of the sanctuary, and once they were gone, Max pulled him back into the reception hall, which had been set up with tables and chairs and a stage with a band.

_ “Now, _ they get to be alone together for twenty minutes, and honestly, I know what I’m doing during my yichud,” Max said as he found their spots at a table with Miri and Ruthie and a few other people who looked to be close in age.

“I don’t think I could have sex like that — knowing that’s what everyone thinks is happening,” Isaac said. “And then to come out and face my whole family? And all of my friends?” He shook his head.

“Good thing I’m never marrying you, then,” Max said. “Because I assure you, I  _ will _ be having sex at this point in my wedding.”

“I assure you, I  _ won’t _ be,” Isaac said.

“What, you  _ don’t _ want an adorable little baby nine months after your wedding?”

Isaac laughed, but he was blushing. “Sex with your spouse might be a mitzvah, but I’m not fucking  _ anyone _ in a  _ synagogue.  _ And  _ no, _ I really  _ don’t _ want a baby less than a year after my wedding. I’d like to be married for a few years first. I mean, like, I want kids, but — that’s too soon.”

Max heaved a dramatic sigh. “You just keep putting off my god-given right to be your kids’ favourite adult.”

“If I were you, I’d focus on being a good uncle for now,” Isaac said. “I’m not getting married anytime soon.”

“That’s probably true,” Max agreed. “But on the bright side: maybe you’ll be an uncle soon!”

“I  _ really _ don’t want to think about what they’re doing right now,” Isaac said. “Especially not now that I know you think David’s  _ fit.” _

“He is!” Max said. “Reg agrees!”

“That’s  _ worse,” _ Isaac said.

“It’s not as if either of us would ever do anything with him, even if he weren’t married,” Max said. “He’s sort of a total killjoy. Much too serious. I think I’d rather die alone than be with someone who doesn’t know how to be fun. That’s why you and I would never work, Isaac, love.”

“Yeah,” Isaac agreed.  _ “That’s _ why.”

Max laughed and wrapped an arm around his shoulder. “Honestly, you’re a fucking  _ delight _ compared to your brother, and you know I love you.”

Isaac rolled his eyes. “I love you, too, Max.”

“Do you ever think about how we’re all three of us the best brothers out of our families?” Max asked.

“Jacob’s just at the next table,” Regulus said.

“He knows it!” Max said. “I’m delightful, and that’s just common knowledge.”

“I thought only Gryffindors were meant to be that full of themselves,” Isaac said.

Regulus tried (and failed) to suppress a laugh. Max turned on him with his perfectly blue eyes as wide and sad as he could manage. “Reg, do you  _ not _ think I’m delightful?” he asked, pouting.

“You’re absolutely delightful,” Regulus said. “But you’re  _ also _ quite full of yourself.”

“It’s my right,” Max said, wrapping his other arm around Regulus’s shoulder. “Because, again: I am  _ delightful.” _


	10. Chapter 10

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Regulus goes on a second date with Dirk

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter has not one, but two of my favourite exchanges in the series - see if you can tell which ones.

Regulus Flooed to one of the public Floo points in Bristol. He and Dirk had agreed to meet each other at his platform at the train station and then go from there. Regulus had changed over some Galleons for Muggle money before he’d left London, and he’d had Isaac (who was of much more help regarding Muggle culture than Max) look over the Muggle clothes he’d picked out for the occasion. Max was still acting very  _ normal _ about everything, and Regulus tried not to think about it.

He saw Dirk standing on the platform before Dirk saw him. Dirk wore tight, flared jeans and a tight, bright blue shirt which brought out his eyes. Regulus realised that he hadn’t ever really seen Dirk in casual Muggle clothes very often before — just at his birthday parties (all two of them), and on the Hogwarts Express. Day to day, he was used to seeing Dirk in robes, but he rather thought that Muggle clothes suited him.

“Hey, Dirk!” he called. Dirk looked up and grinned when he saw him. Regulus didn’t dare kiss him in a Muggle train station. He’d heard all about how homophobic Muggle society was (between Isaac, Sirius, Lily, Mary, and Dirk himself), and that was the last thing he wanted to deal with.

Dirk pulled him into a quick hug, but didn’t try to hold his hand. “Reg! Hey! How was Isaac’s brother’s wedding? And Christmas with your brother?”

“The wedding was really nice. And  _ completely _ different from my cousin Cissa’s wedding, but Max and Isaac explained all of the Jewish stuff really well, and it’s always nice to see Isaac’s family.”

“They all seem really nice,” Dirk said. “But I really only  _ know _ Isaac. And Miri, I guess. And I suppose Cassandra counts as well, now, but I never knew her very well.”

“Miri can be a lot,” Regulus said. “She’s as stubborn as Isaac, really, but at least Isaac’s sensible. Miri can be… worse than Max sometimes.”

“They seem to get along well, though,” Dirk said. “Miri and Max.”

“They do,” Regulus said. “They’re probably torturing Isaac as we speak.”

Dirk laughed. “And you’re not even there to save him.”

“I know,” Regulus said. “How was your Christmas?”

“It was lovely, actually, thanks for asking. My sisters  _ weren’t _ trying to kill each other for once — they’re back to it now, though — so that was nice while it lasted. How’d you and Sirius manage?”

“Well, Potter told him about — Sluggy’s Christmas party, so Sirius kept going on about Welsh prefects with Muggle mothers, which was about as fun as it sounds.”

“He has a high opinion of himself, doesn’t he?” Dirk asked. “I hardly think you said yes because I have  _ anything _ in common with Lupin.”

“I didn’t,” Regulus said. “Didn’t even really realise you did until Sirius pointed it out. Obviously, I knew that you’re both Welsh, and prefects, but — I didn’t process that knowledge as _ commonalities.  _ Sirius is just still set on his idea that us both realising our parents were racist, homophobic shitheads means we’re so much more alike than I’m willing to admit.”

“That sounds like a pain in the arse.”

“It is,” Regulus said. “I mean, look, it could be worse. Gus Selwyn’s brother is a nightmare. And his sister. Sirius is just — reckless and annoying, but he’s got a conscience. Well. Not when it comes to Slytherins, but besides that… mostly. He’s not a raving murdering lunatic, at least.”

“Honestly, I know I like  _ you, _ but Nigel’s got to realise how dangerous it is for  _ both _ him and Selwyn for them to be together.”

“He’s a Gryffindor,” Regulus said. “They get off to dangerous situations.”

Dirk laughed. “Maybe. I know I  _ definitely _ don’t, so I can’t really understand it.”

“Good,” Regulus said. “Because neither do I, and we’d never work if you  _ did.” _

“Good. So, er, what did you want to do today?”

Regulus considered it. “Isaac was telling me about this film he saw with his cousin last week.”

“We can see if it’s showing at a cinema here,” Dirk said. “It’s not London, but…”

* * *

The film Isaac had mentioned  _ was _ playing, so they got two tickets. 

Regulus knew how much Isaac had talked about this film, and knew that Isaac would want to discuss it when they saw each other next. The cinema wasn’t very full, because it was mid-afternoon on a Tuesday, but Regulus couldn’t focus on the film.

He hardly thought he could be blamed for it; he was on a date with a nice boy who fancied him. All Regulus found himself able to focus on was Dirk’s hand in his in the dark of the cinema. That was, at least, until Dirk kissed him. Things escalated quickly, and then they were snogging in the back of a Muggle cinema in Bristol while Muggles onscreen had an adventure in space.

After the film, they wandered around the city centre and found a place for dinner. It wasn’t very fancy, but really, Regulus preferred it that way. It was nice, being normal. Even if he couldn’t be outwardly affectionate toward Dirk, it still felt more normal than he’d ever pictured his life capable of being.

They talked over dinner about their friends and families and courses. They both agreed that it was much easier to manage prefect duties this year without O.W.L.s looming, even though their courses all required much more work.

“Next year’s gonna be hell, though,” Dirk said. “Especially for you.”

“Why me?”

“You’re a shoe-in for Head Boy,” Dirk said. “They’re not going to pick Selwyn, and Nigel — I like Nigel, honestly, but you and I both know that he doesn’t want it. He barely wanted prefect. He’s too focused on Quidditch. And Selwyn.”

_ “I’m _ focused on Quidditch,” Regulus said. “I’m Ravenclaw’s captain, if you hadn’t forgotten.”

“I hadn’t,” Dirk said. “But of the options…”

“What about you?” Regulus asked. “You don’t play Quidditch. Why wouldn’t you be Head Boy?”

“I suppose I could be, but I still think Dumbledore will pick you. Head Girl, though; that’s anyone’s guess between Mary and Emmeline.”

“I think either of them would be an excellent choice,” Regulus said, “but I still think you’ll be Head Boy.”

“We’ll see,” Dirk said.

Afterward, he walked with Dirk to the train station, which was only a short walk from the Floo point. Regulus waited on the platform with Dirk; they sat together on a bench and talked.

“Is it too soon to ask about Hogsmeade?” Dirk asked.

“No,” Regulus said. “I’d love to go to Hogsmeade with you.”

Dirk grinned. “Great! Because today was great, but…”

“But in Hogsmeade we can actually hold hands and kiss?” Regulus whispered.

“Exactly,” Dirk said. “I’d love to kiss you right now, but we’re in Muggle Bristol.”

“I understand,” Regulus said. “Really.”

* * *

Regulus Flooed back home to see Max sitting on the sofa, trying to convince Thalia to wear a hat, as she batted it off her head. Isaac was sitting sideways in an armchair, with his legs draped over the side, trying to read a book.

“How was your date?” Isaac asked.

Max rushed over to hug him. “Isaac won’t help me dress Thalia up.”

“My date went well, and do you  _ really _ need to dress her up?”

“Yes, because she’ll look extra cute.” Max kissed his cheek. “But I’m glad to hear your date went well.”

“You are?”

“Yeah,” Max said. “Dirk’s a genuinely decent bloke, and he’s smart enough for you. And you’re my best friend and I love you and you deserve to be happy — and I mean that. More than anyone else I know, Reg, you  _ deserve _ to be happy.”

“Oh,” Regulus said. “Thanks, Max.”

“Did you see  _ Star Wars?” _ Isaac asked.

“Er, yeah,” Regulus said, aware he’d spent nearly the entire film snogging Dirk, and not actually watching it.

“How was it?” Isaac asked. “Wasn’t it  _ great? _ Ruthie and I are seeing it again tomorrow!”

“Er,” Regulus said. “Well, the thing is…”

“Ooh, Reg, did you not like Isaac’s nerdy Muggle film?”

“It’s  _ not _ nerdy,” Isaac said. “Right, Reg?”

“I dunno?” Regulus said. “Dirk and I sort of just snogged through the whole thing, to be honest.”

He’d expected this news to annoy Max and amuse Isaac, but he’d been wrong. Isaac looked about ready to hex him, and Max laughed out loud. 

“Oh my  _ god, _ Reg,” Max said. “That’s brilliant!” Max kissed his cheek. “I bloody love you.”

“I cannot believe you snogged during  _ Star Wars! _ It’s a cinematic masterpiece!”

“I’m sure you’ll find someone to snog who appreciates it for the work of art it  _ clearly _ is, and not some odd, nerdy film about space pirates. But did you really think a Muggle film about space pirates, or whatever, would be up Reg’s alley?”

“It’s not about space  _ pirates.” _

“I mean,” Regulus said. “I liked the one bloke — the tall one. He was fit.”

“Unbelievable,” Isaac said. “That’s  _ Harrison Ford! _ He’s so cool! And you only care that he’s  _ fit _ — not that Han Solo is one of the best smugglers in the whole galaxy!”

“Calm down, Isaac,” Max said. “Reg’s  _ gay; _ he’s allowed to just like an actor because he’s fit.”

“And tall,” Regulus added.

“And tall,” Max said. “You — do like tall blokes, don’t you? I’ve sort of just noticed.”

Regulus, well aware that Max was the tallest bloke he knew, nodded. “Yeah.”

“I can’t believe one of my best friends is a popular jock who doesn’t even like  _ Star Wars,”  _ Isaac said.

“I wouldn’t say I’m popular.”

“Oh, you are,” Max said. “I love you anyway, but you are. Just like I love Isaac, even though he’s a giant nerd.”

“I’m not any more of a nerd than you are,” Isaac said.

Max rolled his eyes. “You’ll find an adorably nerdy Muggleborn Jew to marry and have a family with, I’m sure, but I’m not as big of a nerd as you are.”

“You know, Carrie Fisher’s Jewish, I think, and really not that much older than us.”

“Yes, because  _ age _ is what would make a Muggle celebrity inaccessible,” Max said, rolling his eyes.

“I’m just saying! They filmed in England! I’m pretty sure they all lived in London during filming. It’s not, like, impossible.”

“Watch him end up marrying an American, too,” Max said to Regulus.

“Oh, piss off, Max.”

* * *

“Max?” Regulus asked that night. They were sat on Max’s bed, and Max was painting their nails.

“Yeah?”

“Please don’t take this the wrong way.”

“That’s a good way to start off.” Max kissed his cheek. “What is it?”

“Why’re you so okay with me and Dirk? I mean, you freaked out and didn’t speak to me for  _ weeks _ after I told you about Rosier, but you’re fine with me saying I snogged Dirk, and I — I don’t understand.”

“I told you,” Max said. “I like Dirk. He’s kind and clever. He’s obviously fancied you for, like, a year, at least. And — it’s pretty clear that he’ll treat you well.”

“Okay, but you didn’t  _ talk to me _ with the Rosier thing.”

“Reg, what do you want me to say? That it kills me to see you with anyone else, but at least Dirk is decent, and I’m not risking ruining our friendship? I’m sure that’s what Sirius told you.”

“It is. What — Sirius has told me, I mean.”

“Reg, I promise you that I’m  _ fine _ with you dating Dirk. I didn’t like you snogging Rosier for loads of reasons, but mostly because he’s an arse, and I’ll admit that I was sort of worried that you missed that world — and I know that’s stupid — and… also, as we’ve established, I was confused because you’d told me you didn’t just snog me because I was gay and there, but you said that’s why you were with Rosier, and you’ve explained to me that – I was wrong, and us kissing  _ did _ mean something for you. And I’m  _ really  _ not stupid enough to risk our friendship.”

It made sense. And, really, what did Sirius know, anyway? (Even if, Regulus realised, Max never actually  _ said _ that he  _ didn’t _ have feelings for him).

“Reg, I love you more than I’ve ever loved anyone else. You are, bar none, the most important person in the world to me. I want you to be happy. More than anything. All right?”

Max’s words just made Regulus want to kiss him, and it would be so easy — but he couldn’t. “All right,” Regulus said.

“Does being with Dirk make you happy?”

“I mean, we’ve only just gone on two dates. But it’s nice. I’d never really thought of him that way before.”

“So there you have it,” Max said. “It’s going well, and I don’t want you spoiling it because your anxiety is making you overthink everything.” Max kissed his cheek. “Because you will if I let you.”

“I really don’t deserve you,” Regulus said.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Does Isaac have a crush on Harrison Ford?  
> I think y'all know the answer.


	11. Chapter 11

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Regulus adjusts to having a boyfriend

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the delay; I had a lot of deadlines coupled with 50+ hour work weeks

Having a boyfriend was great. Regulus hadn’t realised how great it would be. They patrolled together, revised together, partnered together in the classes they shared, went to Hogsmeade together, held hands in the corridors, and Dirk always kissed him good luck before Quidditch practise and matches — and he’d even rooted for him in the match against Hufflepuff.

It was, really, the polar opposite of how being with Evan Rosier had made him feel. He felt giddy, but also warm and secure. He didn’t feel like he was doing anything wrong or bad, because he knew he wasn’t. Dirk was genuinely decent, and they were  _ boyfriends. _ And it wasn’t even like the passion wasn’t there — it was. They spent  _ hours _ snogging in spare classrooms, or, a few times, in Regulus’s dormitory. Max had only requested that they keep the curtains closed, and it seemed like common sense roommate behaviour (he knew he didn’t want to see even  _ Isaac _ snogging anyone in their dormitory, and he certainly had never viewed Isaac as more than a friend), so he obliged.

Once, on the first Friday in February, a little over a week before Valentine’s Day, when they’d been dating about a month and a half, Regulus snuck Dirk in after patrols. Max was talking to Miri in the common room, and raised an eyebrow when they came in.

“You’re in early,” Max said, looking at the spot behind Regulus where Dirk stood under a disillusionment charm. “Any special plans?”

Regulus shrugged. “No. Just thought I’d turn in early. Patrols are done — no reason to hang around outside the tower.”

qu

“Isaac’s probably still wanking to some picture of Carly Fisher or whoever. At least I  _ hope _ it’s Carly Fisher.”

Dirk snorted, and then froze. Miri looked right at him. “Reg, you haven’t brought your Hufflepuff boyfriend into Ravenclaw Tower, have you?”

“Of course not,” Regulus lied.

“You’re a shitty liar,” Max said. “Honestly. Go — shag or whatever it is you’ve got planned. You know as well as I do that Isaac always wanks with every privacy spell known to wizardkind up, so if he  _ is _ wanking, you won’t know it, and if he’s actually studying, then he can come down here with us.”

Regulus felt himself blush. “Er. All right.”

“Hi, Dirk, bye, Dirk!” Max called as Regulus led Dirk to the staircase and down the stairs to his dormitory.

Isaac was sat on his bed, curtains open, with three separate textbooks. So he  _ was _ studying. It was sort of a relief, honestly, although it wasn’t like Regulus had never brought Dirk up when Isaac’s curtains were closed.

“I’ve brought Dirk,” Regulus said, lifting the charm.

Isaac looked up. “All right. I’ll go up to the common room.”

“We’re just going to  _ snog,” _ Dirk said. “And we’ll use charms.”

“Really,” Isaac said. “It’s fine. I should go make sure Max and Miri aren’t plotting the destruction of the tower to get out of exams, really.” 

“Max  _ is _ saying Carrie Fisher’s name wrong because he knows it annoys you,” Regulus said.

“Of course he is,” Isaac said, gathering his books. “At least he’s on this and not insisting I’m in love with Harrison Ford.”

“Don’t give him ideas,” Regulus said.

“Oh, I won’t,” Isaac said. He grabbed his wand from his bedside table. “Er, I guess if you spend the night — I’ll probably be up there for an hour or two? And it’s Friday, so Max will be up until sunrise, probably.”

“We really haven’t thought that far ahead,” Dirk said.

“Well, regardless,” Isaac said. “I’ll — see you later. Or tomorrow. Whichever.” He headed out the door and shut it behind him.

Dirk turned to Regulus. “So.”

“So,” Regulus said. He kissed Dirk, and started working at untying his tie. Dirk unclasped Regulus’s school robes and slipped them off his shoulders, and Regulus returned the favour. They stumbled to Regulus’s bed, and Regulus kicked off his shoes. He fell backwards, and, fortunately, landed on his bed. 

Dirk pulled away. “You all right?”

“Yeah,” Regulus said. He took the chance to pull off his jumper. Dirk did the same, and then came and sat down on the bed. Regulus shut the curtains and cast  _ lumos. _

Dirk kissed him. Regulus ran his hands down his back and pulled him close. For a few minutes, they just sat like that and kissed. It was nice, really. Regulus didn’t feel any of the anxiety he’d felt with Evan about being found out, and Max was about the farthest person from his mind. He was able to focus on Dirk’s mouth and Dirk’s back and Dirk’s hands in his hair and Dirk’s hardness pressing against him. It felt  _ right. _

Dirk started trailing kisses down his neck and unbuttoned his shirt. They’d done this a few times before, and each time, it sent a thrill through Regulus to see Dirk sweaty and shirtless, too, and to feel his skin against his (and Dirk’s mouth and hands on his skin and Dirk’s skin under his mouth and hands). This time was no different. He unbuttoned Dirk’s shirt and Dirk helped him pull it off and cast it aside.

“Shit,” Dirk said, kissing Regulus’s chest. “I think you get more gorgeous every time.”

“You do, too,” Regulus breathed. He could feel Dirk grin against him. 

“Honestly, two months ago, I never would have  _ dreamed _ we’d be doing this.”

“I wouldn’t have, either,” Regulus said. He pulled Dirk up for another kiss. 

“Reg?”

“Yeah?”

Dirk kissed his neck. “I really don’t want to pressure you, so if you’re — even a little unsure, we wouldn’t, but…”

Did Dirk actually want to have sex with him? Regulus thought he couldn’t possibly do that tonight. It wasn’t as if he didn’t  _ want _ to, really. He really liked Dirk, and liked being with him, and knew that Dirk was kind and attentive and respectful — but he really had no idea what to fucking do in bed. He and Evan Rosier had swapped handjobs  _ once, _ and before that, Evan had rubbed him through his trousers. That wasn’t comparable to  _ sex,  _ not really. But — if they planned it, Regulus was sure he’d be up for it. Just not tonight. He wanted to talk to — someone who had, first. Gus or Nigel or even Sirius or Lupin if he got desperate.

“I really want to — touch you,” Dirk said. 

“Touch me how?” Regulus asked. “I’m not saying no, but I’d like to clarify…”

“Well, we haven’t got any condoms, or lube, so not  _ sex. _ But — however else you’d like, really. I mean, I’d like to have sex with you eventually. But I haven’t, er, done it before. And you’re the only bloke I’ve ever…”

Which, somehow, left Regulus the more experienced one in this aspect. Dirk had had girlfriends before, and he was an  _ excellent _ kisser, which sometimes left Regulus feeling as if he were lagging behind, but… in this, at least, Regulus knew more than Dirk. Even if the last time he’d let a bloke touch his cock, he’d promptly had a breakdown afterward. He knew that Dirk wasn’t Evan, and that he wouldn’t feel  _ guilty _ about Dirk touching him. At least — he was nearly certain of it.

“I’d like to,” Regulus said. He kissed Dirk’s cheek. “Would you like me to touch you first?”

Dirk swallowed. “Yeah. I, er, yeah, I think that’d be — should I take my trousers off, or…? I haven’t — I haven’t done this before, and I don’t know…”

Regulus kissed him. “That’s up to you,” he said. “Do you want to take them off?”

Dirk met his gaze. Regulus, for once, didn’t feel overly nervous or anxious about what was about to happen. It was Dirk. He liked him, and he trusted him. “I — I think so?”

“Are you sure you want to do this?” Regulus asked. “We haven’t  _ got _ to. Or if you just want to touch me, that’s fine, too.”

“I want to,” Dirk said. “Just nervous, and I’m sort of out of my depth here, but I  _ really _ want to.”

“All right,” Regulus said. “D’you wanna lie down, or stay sitting up?”

“Lying down, I think,” Dirk said. “A-and I think I’ll take my trousers off.” He went to do so, and Regulus didn’t move. He waited for Dirk to take his trousers off and settle in, and then cast some anti-eavesdropping charms, just in case Isaac or Max or  _ anyone _ else came in. 

Then, he lay down next to his boyfriend and kissed him. “If you want to stop for any reason, just let me know, all right?”

“Yeah,” Dirk said. “All right.”

He ran his hand down Dirk’s chest and gauged his reaction. He seemed into it, so Regulus kept going, not taking his eyes off of Dirk’s face. As he reached below the waistband of Dirk’s boxers, he asked, “You’re sure this is what you want to do?”

“Yes,” Dirk breathed. “Absolutely. Reg,  _ please _ touch me.”

So Regulus did. And later, when Dirk returned the favour, Regulus actually felt — okay about it. He said the right name, and he certainly didn’t feel that crushing guilt he’d felt before — he actually felt a bit proud of himself. He’d gotten his boyfriend off, and afterward, they cast the appropriate cleaning charms and cuddled together under the covers.

“You want to spend the night?” Regulus asked. “Max and Isaac won’t mind.” He thought they both rather expected it, from how they’d both carried on.

“That’d be lovely,” Dirk said, kissing Regulus’s neck and wrapping his arms around his waist. “I’ve always wondered how adorable you look when you wake up.”

Regulus laughed and turned his head to kiss him. “Fair warning: Max and Isaac  _ both _ say I snore, so I probably do.”

“I’m sure it’s  _ adorable.” _

* * *

In the morning, Regulus found himself immensely grateful for the double shower in the dormitory bathroom. Their dormitory, after all, had been built with the assumption that there would be more than three boys in it, so the bathroom  _ was _ designed to be used by  _ five _ boys. This, apparently, meant a double shower. He didn’t think he and either of his roommates had used it to shower at the same time in  _ years, _ but — Dirk had suggested it. And Regulus hadn’t been about to say no.

He’d thought, really, that Dirk had just wanted to  _ shower _ together. Except it became clear as Dirk stripped off his boxers and stepped into the shower that showering wasn’t all Dirk had in mind. Regulus felt his heart beat faster, and felt himself start to get hard as Dirk leaned down to kiss him.

“I had an idea,” Dirk said.

“Water doesn’t work as lube,” Regulus blurted out. Sirius’s  _ many _ stories had made  _ that _ aspect very clear.

Dirk grinned and kissed his cheek. “Not that. But — close.”

“Then what?” Regulus asked. He kissed Dirk’s neck,  _ acutely _ aware that they were both naked.

“I want to suck you off.”

“Oh,” Regulus said. He knew he couldn’t hide how excited he was by the idea.

“And  _ yes, _ I’m sure, and  _ yes, _ I’ve thought about it,” Dirk said.

“That’s not what I was going to say,” Regulus said. He kissed him. “I was  _ going _ to say that we should cast some sort of soundproofing charm so Max and Isaac haven’t got to  _ hear _ it.”

“Oh,” Dirk said. “Yeah. That’d be a good idea.” He reached out of the shower, grabbed his wand, and cast the charm. Then he set his wand back on the shelf and got down on his knees in front of Regulus.

If Regulus had thought last night was amazing, it had absolutely  _ nothing _ on what Dirk did then.

* * *

Regulus offered Dirk some clean clothes, which Dirk accepted. The House Elves would see that his dirty clothes got returned properly, so Dirk simply made sure to affix his prefect badge to the jumper Regulus loaned him. They held hands as they walked down to the Great Hall. Max was still asleep in the dormitory, and Isaac had gone down with Emmeline before Regulus and Dirk got to the common room. 

They sat down across from Isaac and Emmeline in at the Ravenclaw table.

“Does Max always miss breakfast on Saturdays?” Dirk asked. “I actually — now I don’t think I’ve  _ ever _ seen him at breakfast on a Saturday.”

“He claims staying up late and sleeping in past noon is the proper way to observe Shabbos,” Isaac said. 

“Sometimes he misses lunch,” Regulus said. “Then he’ll just go down to the kitchens.”

“And stuff himself with sweets,” Isaac said. “Again, claiming it’s the proper way to observe Shabbos.”

“You mean it’s not?” Emmeline asked with a grin.

“It’s supposed to be about rest and renewal, but Max takes it a bit far, I think,” Isaac said.

Regulus took a bite of bacon and said, “I think that’s just sort of naturally how his sleep schedule falls. That’s how he spends all summer.” Except, of course, when he and Max slept in the same bed. Regulus was naturally a pretty early riser, and Max never seemed to want to go back to sleep after Regulus had gotten up. But he wasn’t going to say that in front of Dirk, even if he and Max hadn’t slept in the same bed since they’d gotten together.

“I do most of my revising Saturday mornings,” Isaac said. “It’s the only time he’s quiet.”

“He’s not even really  _ quiet,” _ Regulus said. “He talks in his sleep.”

“Fine,” Isaac said. “Quiet _er. _ Quiet enough to revise.”

“I usually go flying, but this year, Slytherin and Gryffindor have been booking the pitch all Saturday.”

“Wonder if Selwyn and Gallagher went in on it together,” Dirk asked.

“I wouldn’t be surprised,” Regulus said. “Gus Selwyn’s decent, but he’s damn conniving when he wants to be. And we know Gryffindor can’t let Slytherin do anything without going twice as hard.”

“Honestly, they both also probably get off on competing with each other,” Emmeline said.

“Oh, they  _ definitely _ do,” Regulus said. “Gus has as good as said so.”

“I don’t get that,” Dirk said. “Getting off on competition.”

Isaac shrugged, and Regulus raised an eyebrow. Of  _ course _ Isaac would understand that, really. “I mean,” Isaac said, taking a sip of pumpkin juice, “I don’t get the  _ extent _ they clearly go to, but I don’t act like I know how Gryffindors and Slytherins work. Especially together.”

“Isaac,” Regulus said. “Since Max isn’t here, I think it’s sort of my duty to remind you that nearly everyone you’ve ever fancied is a Gryffindor.”

“Not — nearly everyone,” Isaac said.

Regulus raised an eyebrow. “Honestly, I sort of think you’d like Slytherins, too, at least if most of them weren’t so absurdly racist.”

“How so?” Isaac asked.

“Ambition and cunning are clearly traits you value,” Regulus said. “You bemoan Max’s total lack of  _ both _ on a daily basis.”

“Yeah, but that’s  _ Max,” _ Isaac said.

“If Mary and Lily told you they had no idea what they wanted to do with their lives and they’d sort of just figure it out later, your crushes on both of them would vanish.”

“Well,” Isaac said. “Lily would never. She’s wanted to be a Healer for years.”

“You’re sort of proving his point,” Emmeline said.

“It’s not a crime to be attracted to girls who’re fit and know what they want in life,” Isaac said.

“No,” Regulus agreed, “but it doesn’t change the fact that you value ambition and cunning. And you like to argue with everyone.”

“Not  _ everyone,”  _ Isaac said.

“So if I said Puddlemere was overrated,” Dirk said, “you’d be fine with that?”

Isaac’s eyebrow twitched, but he otherwise kept a straight face. “Everyone’s entitled to their opinion.”

“And if Reg or Mary told you Puddlemere’s overrated?”

“Puddlemere  _ is _ overrated,” Regulus said. “But Mary, Gus, and Gallagher all go for the Harpies, which — yes, it’s great there’s an all-witches’ team, but they’re  _ very _ mainstream, and that’s not really much better. Virtually everyone goes for one of the two.”

Dirk kissed his cheek. “I see  _ you _ want to argue that.”

“I only argue about Quidditch and literature,” Regulus said. “Isaac argues about  _ everything. _ Especially Jewish law, with Max — but I actually think that’s sort of normal.”

“Debating halacha is key to understanding it,” Isaac said. “So — yeah. That part’s easy. And I don’t get off to  _ constant _ competition like Selwyn and Gallagher do, where they make  _ everything _ into a contest.”

“I think that’s just what happens when you put a Slytherin and Gryffindor together,” Regulus said. 


	12. Chapter 12

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Regulus plans for Valentine's Day

Regulus and Dirk did go to Hogsmeade together for Valentine’s Day. They discussed it, and agreed that they wanted to do all of the typical coupley things, no matter how strange they sounded. The Hogsmeade visit was scheduled for the eleventh, which was the last Saturday before Valentine’s Day.

After the previous Friday night and Saturday morning, Regulus and Dirk hadn’t really been able to get enough of each other. Dirk had spent the night in Ravenclaw tower almost every night, and though they hadn’t properly had sex yet, it was really better than Regulus could have hoped for.

Regulus managed to catch Gus after Astronomy, which was the one class he didn’t share with Dirk, and made some excuse to his friends that it was a prefect matter — which didn’t stop Gallagher from hovering around. “So, er,” Regulus said as they found a quiet, empty classroom to talk in. 

“This doesn’t seem like a prefect matter,” Gallagher said.

“Nige, come on,” Gus said.

“It’s not,” Regulus said. “I, er, so — I’m just not really sure how to say this.”

“Please try, because I’d like to shag my boyfriend before  _ everyone _ catches on,” Gallagher said.

_ “Nige,” _ Gus said.

“Actually that’s sort of — what this is about,” Regulus said. 

“Me shagging my boyfriend?” Gallagher asked, and Regulus could see why Sirius had shagged him (or done whatever he’d done with him). It was the same reason why Regulus didn’t really like most Gryffindors: he was cocky and arrogant and seemed to need to challenge everything Regulus said.  _ What _ did Gus and Mary see in him?

“I think it’s probably about Regulus shagging  _ his _ boyfriend,” Gus said.

“Yes,” Regulus said. “That. I, er — Sirius has made sure I know the basics, but the actual… I mean, I think we’re going to, sometime soon, but he’s somehow  _ less _ experienced than I am, and… I really don’t want to talk to Sirius about this, because I want him knowing as little as possible about my sex life, and vice versa.”

“Oh,” Gallagher said, sitting on a desk. “That’s easy then. Use a condom and lots of lube, and go slow the first few times, like,  _ really _ slow. And do make sure it’s  _ lube, _ and not —  _ I _ haven’t, of course, but I’ve  _ heard _ of some idiots trying to use water, or saliva, and that’s –”

“Oh, Sirius made  _ that _ very clear,” Regulus said. “I think half of his sex talk was ‘use lube’.”

“It  _ is _ quite important,” Gus said. “Honestly, the first time, neither of you are really going to know what you’re doing. There’s no amount of preparing for it that’ll make that not the case. I think the most important thing is making sure that you’re both comfortable, and ready for it.”

“We’re both ready for it,” Regulus said.

“That’s a start,” Gus said.

“You need to be able to laugh about it when shite goes wrong,” Gallagher said, “because shite  _ will _ go wrong.”

“I don’t think that’s a problem with Dirk,” Regulus said.

“And because I know if anyone’s told you this, it’s  _ not _ your brother,” Gallagher said, “and I’m sure both Scamander and Goldstein are still virgins, so they won’t have, either. Not everyone  _ likes _ being on the bottom, and even if you do it can take some — getting used to. Even when you use lube.”

“Oh, yeah,” Gus said. “Sirius wouldn’t have said that, would he?”

“Again: I want to know as little about my brother’s sex life as possible,” Regulus said.

“Then take it from us,” Gallagher said. “If you don’t think you like it, try something else. It’s sex. As long as you’re both into it and it feels good, there’s really no  _ wrong _ way to do it.”

“Er, all right,” Regulus said.

“And speaking of,” Gallagher said, “we’re going to say you talked to us both for another — hour or so, or we patrolled, and instead we’re going to go have sex now.”

“Nige,” Gus said, shooting him a look.

“What?”

“It’s fine,” Regulus said. “Thanks for the, er, advice.”

He left them alone and went back to Ravenclaw Tower. Max was sitting on the floor, playing with Thalia. “Isaac is in the shower, since you were talking to Selwyn and Gallagher.”

“Oh,” Regulus said. He slipped his school robes off, put his bag away, and sat down across from Max. “I’ll wait to shower, then.”

“No Dirk tonight?”

“He’s not in Astronomy, so we decided it was probably time he go back to his own dormitory to sleep for the night.”

Max hummed and shook a feather toy in front of Thalia. For the first time, unbidden, Regulus wondered what it’d be like to be dating Max instead of Dirk. To be getting ready to have sex with Max instead of Dirk. He really liked Dirk, maybe even loved him, but — Max was  _ Max. _

“Max?”

“Yeah?”

“Why don’t you have a boyfriend?”

Max didn’t meet his eyes, but he shrugged. “Not really interested in dating right now, to be honest. It’s not really like there’s a plethora of gay and bi blokes at this school, and even though Sirius isn’t  _ my _ brother, I don’t think I want to be with anyone who’s been with him, and that leaves — you, Isaac, Dirk, Selwyn, and Corner, really. And you, Dirk, and Selwyn are taken, Isaac’s so far in the closet he may never come out, and Corner’s a pompous prick.”

Regulus glanced to the bathroom door and leaned in to whisper, “You really think Isaac’s closeted?”

“Reg,” Max said. “You’ve  _ seen _ him around Sirius, and Jacob, too.”

Regulus thought back to Max’s bar mitzvah, where Isaac had all but made a beeline to speak to Jacob Scamander. And, well, yeah, all right, it was pretty obvious that Isaac fancied Sirius. “Think he knows? I mean, it took me over a year to come out after I knew.”

“Doubt it,” Max said. “He’s progressive and pretty rational, and  _ we’re _ gay, and your boyfriend is bisexual, and my whole family, so — why wouldn’t he tell us? It’s not like we’d be bigoted, and we both know that bisexuality is a legitimate sexual orientation, even if neither of  _ us _ have ever fancied a girl.”

“Sirius notices, though,” Regulus said.

“Oh, he does, only unlike you with Miri, he lets it feed his ego.” Max snorted, but then leaned in to kiss Regulus’s cheek. “I love you, Reg, but your brother’s sort of a dickhead.”

“He’s  _ really _ a dickhead,” Regulus said. “But at least he’s not a Death Eater.”

“That’s a very high bar,” Max said.

“It is for my family,” Regulus said. 

* * *

They’d only gone to Hogsmeade together once before: at the beginning of term in January. It had been pretty normal: The Three Broomsticks, some light shopping, and publicly holding hands and exchanging some (chaste) kisses (the less-than-chaste kisses had come later, in private). This, though, was Valentine’s Day, or at least the weekend  _ before _ Valentine’s Day, and Regulus had gotten the idea in his head that they should go to Madam Puddifoots. It was, after all, the archetypical big date spot in Hogsmeade.

“I’m sure it’ll be cheesy and tacky,” Regulus said when he suggested it on Thursday night. He and Dirk were laying in his bed together, with the curtains closed and privacy spells up and it sort of felt, at least a bit, as if they were the only two people in the world. How much of that had to do with the fact that they’d spent the past hour getting each other off, Regulus wasn’t sure, but he didn’t particularly care.

“Sometimes cheesy’s nice,” Dirk said. “Even if it’s awful, we can still laugh at it together.”

“And I thought — after, when we get back to Hogwarts, maybe we could…” He trailed his gaze down Dirk’s chest and settled on his cock before looking back to his face.

“All the way?” Dirk asked.

“If you want to? If not, then — more of this is great. But I did — I got some — condoms and lube from Madam Pomfrey’s office. She — has them there for free, apparently.” Gus and Sirius and Gallagher had all made that  _ very _ clear, and Regulus was actually glad for it.

“Well, she’d have to,” Dirk said. “The alternative would be teen pregnancy or some — rather embarrassing to explain injuries. I dunno about you, but I don’t want to have to go to Madam Pomfrey because one of us tried to do it without lube.” He kissed Regulus’s cheek. “I’d love to. With lube, I mean. Here?”

“I think so,” Regulus said. “I know the bed’s sort of small, but it’s probably the most private place we could manage, and Max and Isaac wouldn’t dare disturb us.”

“All right. Yeah. And this time, I can bring a change of clothes. Much as I may love wearing yours. I think our professors are starting to catch on that some mornings, I’m wearing trousers that are about two inches too short.”

Regulus grinned and kissed him.

* * *

Hogsmeade was packed with couples. He and Dirk got a carriage with Max, Isaac, Mary, Gus, and Gallagher. 

“It’s sort of funny, isn’t it?” Gus asked.

“What is?” Max asked.

“Well, that all four of the boys’ prefects in our year are dating another boys’ prefect in our year.”

“I thought that you two wanted everything quiet,” Regulus said.

“Nah,” Gallagher said. “I don’t mind anyone here knowing. Just don’t want Gus’s Housemates finding out, because everyone in his dormitory alone — not to mention Rosier or Snape — would all definitely be more than happy to torture me to death for daring to date a Pureblood Slytherin. Especially Crouch. Surprised  _ you’re _ not worried about the same, Cresswell.”

“Reg’s disowned, and besides that, Rosier’s practically in love with him and desperately eager for his approval. I think it’s clear to him that hurting me would sort of endanger that approval.”

“That’s true,” Gus said. “He  _ is _ obsessed with you, Regulus.”

“Isn’t that lovely?” Isaac drawled, rolling his eyes. Regulus couldn’t help but agree. If he never had to deal with Evan Rosier again, it would be too soon.

“I think he still half expects me to realise that he was right about everything and try to rejoin Pureblood society like I haven’t realised that I disagree with everything they say on a fundamental level. I’d really rather play Quidditch and marry a wizard — regardless of blood status — and  _ not _ be actively involved in genocide.”

“Rosier’ll never understand that,” Gus said.

“No,” Regulus agreed. “He won’t.”

“So you’re not gunning to be an auror like your brother?” Gallagher asked.

Max laughed out loud, and Regulus shook his head. “No,” Regulus said. “I definitely support the Ministry’s stance, but I’m  _ not _ cut out to be an auror.”

“I don’t think I could picture it,” Dirk said, kissing his cheek.

“I  _ definitely _ couldn’t picture it,” Max said. “Reg risking his life on a daily basis to seek out and duel the very family members he desperately hopes to never see again?”

“But Sirius’d love it,” Regulus said.

* * *

Gus and Gallagher didn’t go to Madam Puddifoots, and Max, Isaac, and Mary were meant to meet Emmeline at the Three Broomsticks, so from there, Regulus and Dirk were on their own. The tea shop was decked out in varying shades of red and pink, and Regulus and Dirk exchanged a look when they got inside.

“I think we owe it to our friends to get through this,” Dirk said.

“The worst part is that Max would find this all totally romantic and sweet.”

“Christ, he would, wouldn’t he?”

“Absolutely,” Regulus agreed.

“I’m actually surprised he  _ doesn’t _ have a boyfriend yet, to be honest.”

“I asked him about that,” Regulus said. “He said he’s not interested in dating anyone, and even if he were, everyone he  _ could _ date is either taken, an arsehole, closeted,  _ or _ has shagged my brother.”

“I get why having shagged Sirius is a dealbreaker for  _ you,” _ Dirk said. “I’ve got sisters, and I would never sleep with anyone either of them have slept with. But why for Max? Sirius isn’t  _ his _ brother.”

Regulus shrugged. “I dunno. I didn’t ask. He doesn’t really talk to me about — crushes, or relationships, or anything, anyway.”

If Dirk thought this was remarkable, he didn’t say anything. Instead, he changed the subject entirely. “I don’t think I’ve ever had a date for Valentine’s Day before.”

“I know I haven’t.”

“It just seems sort of — overstated,” Dirk said. “And I don’t know how Wizards even picked up on a commercialised minor Christian saint’s day. Because it postdates the statute, I think.”

“Long trousers postdate the statute, and we have those,” Regulus said. “Though, granted, some wizards just — don’t bother with trousers and only wear robes.”

“I suppose you’ve got a point,” Dirk said.

“As much as most of the Pureblood elite try to deny it, there’s a definite cultural exchange between wizards and Muggles. At least in Britain.”

The tea shop was horribly crowded, and the pink lace was  _ more _ than over the top, if you asked Regulus. He glanced over at Dirk, who looked like he felt much the same.

They ordered tea, and Regulus looked around at the other couples. As it was Hogsmeade, he recognised nearly everyone, but one couple in particular caught his eye. He leaned in to whisper to Dirk, “Don’t look now.”

Dirk raised an eyebrow. “What?”

“Lily Evans and James Potter are right behind you.”

Dirk didn’t look over his shoulder, and instead leaned in toward Regulus and grinned. “I bet if we’re  _ really _ quiet, we can probably eavesdrop.”

“I don’t know if I  _ want _ to hear what they’re saying.”

“Reg, come on — what does she even  _ see _ in him?”

“No idea,” Regulus said.

“She could get  _ anyone _ she wanted in this school,” Dirk said. “Why him?”

“Honestly, I don’t even know why Lupin is friends with him. My idiot brother, sure, but not Potter.”

“I don’t understand it,” Dirk said. “Really, I don’t get Sirius’s appeal, either.”

Regulus wasn’t totally sure he believed him. “Really?”

Dirk shrugged. “He’s loud and obnoxious, and for all his charm and bravado — I barely know him, but I know that’s not the real him. Every time I’ve dealt with him, it’s just been exhausting, and — I know he’s your brother, and you love him, but he  _ is _ a bully.”

“He’s  _ definitely _ a bully,” Regulus agreed. “And loud and obnoxious, and he does hide his insecurities under charm and bravado. But — I dunno, at least he  _ is _ charming? And good-looking?”

Madam Puddifoot came back with their tea and asked them if they needed anything else. They declined, and sipped at their tea. Regulus had ordered peppermint tea.

“This is sort of awkward, isn’t it?” Dirk asked.

“A bit,” Regulus confessed. “Dunno why it should be, though.”

“Right, like,” Dirk lowered his voice, “we’ve already sucked each other’s cocks, so why does  _ this _ seem so different?”

“It’s not as if we haven’t gone on dates, either.”

“Though nowhere this… over the top.”

“I don’t think that helps,” Regulus said, looking around. Max truly would love this place — and with  _ him, _ he didn’t think he’d mind it. Even if  _ Dirk _ loved it, Regulus probably wouldn’t be nearly so uncomfortable. But Dirk wasn’t Max, and  _ neither _ of them liked the crowded tea shop.

“Do you want to just pay for what we have and — do something else?” Dirk asked.

Regulus felt a rush of relief. “More than anything,” he said.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just so y'all know: we're on a every-other-week update schedule until further notice!


	13. Chapter 13

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Regulus and Dirk go back to Ravenclaw Tower

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this takes place just after the last chapter, also on Valentine's Day

Regulus was extremely grateful for his roommates and how accommodating they’d been as he snuck Dirk back into Ravenclaw Tower. Max and Isaac were still in Hogsmeade, of course, but they’d both agreed to stay in the common room until late that night, to give them some alone time. Not that Regulus wasn’t going to put up some privacy charms, anyway, but he knew very few people were lucky to have roommates as considerate as his.

Sirius had insisted upon teaching him several charms that couldn’t be found in school textbooks, and though Regulus felt confident he could perform them if needed, he was grateful for the package he’d picked up (as discreetly as possible) from Madam Pomfrey. He knew that Gus and Nigel swore by the stuff, and insisted that it was much better than the charms. He was inclined to believe them.

He really liked Dirk, maybe even loved him, and he definitely trusted him, but he still felt more than a bit anxious. He knew it wasn’t that different from everything they’d done before — that a lot of people would consider blow jobs and hand jobs sex, especially considering that, with Dirk, it wasn’t something meaningless in an abandoned classroom. He didn’t know if that made his anxiety better or worse.

Once they were alone in the dormitory, Regulus lifted the Disillusionment Charm on Dirk and kissed him. Dirk kissed him back, and made quick work of their robes.

“We should, er, probably shower first,” Regulus said.

“Oh,” Dirk said. “Yeah. That’s a good idea. Together?”

“Yeah,” Regulus agreed.

They went to the bathroom together, and Regulus kissed him. They undressed each other the rest of the way — this much, at least, Regulus had become totally comfortable with. Seeing Dirk’s naked body still sent a thrill through him. He was tall and lean. His shoulders were broad and dusted with freckles — he wasn’t covered in them head to toe like Max was, but Regulus still thought it was nice.

He kissed him and reached down to stroke him. Dirk kissed his neck. He knew they really weren’t making any progress in getting clean so that they could properly have sex, but it was fun. He stroked Dirk until he came in his hand.

“Fuck,” Dirk said. 

Regulus kissed him, long and deep. Dirk started trailing kisses down his chest, and sunk to his knees in front of him. This had become his favourite thing that Dirk did — and, really, if he were honest, one of his favourite things to do to Dirk, too — and they were both only getting better at it.

He braced one hand against the wall, and buried the other in Dirk’s hair. It was only too easy to let himself go. It was  _ Dirk, _ and with Dirk, unlike with Evan, Regulus really didn’t think he was in any danger of accidentally saying the wrong name. Really, Max was usually the farthest thing from his mind when he and Dirk got intimate, which was really saying something.

He was, however, still grateful that they’d both remembered to cast privacy charms. He knew Max and Isaac wouldn’t come in, but that didn’t mean that  _ no one _ would, or that no one could hear them if they didn’t. The only thing that was  _ technically _ against school rules was letting Dirk into Ravenclaw Tower, but it would still be embarrassing if they were caught doing something so intimate. It’d be a violation of privacy, really.

Dirk came back up to kiss him after Regulus came. He knew some people didn’t like this, but he actually did. They kissed for a few minutes before they realised that they really should properly shower.

Their drying charms after were a bit sloppy, but Regulus hardly thought either of them could be blamed for that. They didn’t bother with towels as they went back into the dormitory. They both sort of stood awkwardly by Regulus’s bed; he knew neither of them had done this before.

“Dirk?”

“Yeah?”

“You’ve never… with a girl, either, right?” At least, Regulus was fairly certain he hadn’t. They’d never quite discussed  _ that _ possibility.

Dirk shook his head. “No. Never.”

All right. That only made it a bit more terrifying, but it’d all work out, wouldn’t it?

Dirk, apparently, sensing Regulus’s anxiety, stepped close and kissed him. “We can just get in the bed and snog for a bit first, yeah?”

Regulus nodded. “Yeah. All right.”

So they did. It was really nice, and  _ did _ actually seem to do a bit to relieve Regulus’s anxiety. He knew he really didn’t have much to be anxious about, logically. It was Dirk. He trusted him. He really,  _ really _ liked him. He’d felt totally comfortable snogging him and wanking him off and blowing him when nothing more had been on the table. Everything with Dirk thus far had been  _ really _ quite nice. 

Dirk pulled away after a bit, and Regulus started trailing kisses down his neck.

“Reg,” Dirk said.

“Yeah?”

“Would it be — better for you if I, er… if I were on the bottom the first time?”

Oh. Regulus had never really considered it too much before, but… “Yeah, probably.”

“All right,” Dirk said. He kissed him and ran a hand down his back. “And you’ll let me know if you want to stop or slow down or anything, won’t you?”

Regulus nodded. “Yeah.”

“I know it’s Valentine’s Day, er, well, at least Valentine’s Day  _ weekend, _ and it’s meant to be super romantic, but I’d really rather stop and wait for any reason than have either of us regret it.”

Regulus felt a swell of affection for Dirk, and kissed him. “Me, too.”

They snogged for a little while longer, and Regulus became aware that Dirk was waiting for him to make the first move. He wasn’t totally sure what to do, which sort of was a clue on its own that he was thinking too much into this.

Slowly, he kissed his way down Dirk’s chest and went to suck his cock. He felt Dirk’s fingers tangle in his hair. He was comfortable with this. It was familiar, and safe, and he didn’t stop until Dirk had come. And, yeah, all right, perhaps he choked a little bit, and it was messier than it normally was, but it was still  _ Dirk. _

“Reg, I’m good to go if you are,” Dirk said after a moment.

“All right,” Regulus agreed.

“If you want to wait…”

“I don’t,” Regulus said. To prove his point, he opened the package he’d got from Madam Pomfrey, put on one of the condoms, and opened the jar of lube. “Are you sure this is all right?”

Dirk nodded. “Yeah. I want to.”

It wasn’t as if Regulus was going in totally blind; between Sirius and Gus and Nigel (and a few  _ downright embarrassing _ talks from Newt), he had a pretty good idea of what he was, generally speaking, meant to be doing.

Still, he went slow, kissed Dirk a lot during, and paid extra attention to his expressions and body language.

He finished before Dirk did, but Dirk assured him that it was all right. He kissed him, and they cuddled up close.

“You feel all right?” Dirk asked, which, really, Regulus sort of thought he should be the one asking that question.

“Yeah,” Regulus said. “Shouldn’t I be asking you that?”

“I feel great,” Dirk said. “But considering… you know, it’s all right if you feel sort of — guilty or gross, or whatever. I mean, it’s not  _ all right, _ but it’s sort of normal, I think.”

Regulus felt a lot of things at that moment, but guilty and gross were not among them. “I don’t. Feel that way, I mean.” Which was, really, sort of surprising. He’d almost expected to. After all, this had been  _ proper _ sex with another boy, not just discreet hand jobs in disused classrooms. 

But, well, Dirk was his boyfriend, properly, and he was a perfectly decent person. Regulus hadn’t lived with his parents in well over a year, which can’t have hurt. Moreover, Newt and Tina had made a habit over the past summer of introducing Regulus to all of their gay and lesbian friends (and bisexual friends who’d married other witches or other wizards).

That wasn’t to say that he was certain he’d feel the same way in the morning, but for now…

“I’d tell you if I didn’t feel all right,” Regulus said. “You’re my  _ boyfriend. _ I wouldn’t — I wouldn’t hide something like that from you.”

Dirk kissed him. “Please do tell me if you feel anything like that. We’ll figure something out together, won’t we?”

Regulus nodded. “All right.”

Dirk pulled him so close that there was no space between them. “Do you want to try it the other way round?”

“In a few minutes?” Regulus said.

“All right,” Dirk said. He settled in, and for a while, they lay together in comfortable silence.

Regulus still hadn’t totally processed the fact that he’d actually properly had sex with Dirk. And that it’d been so pleasant. He’d somehow expected to come away from the situation feeling totally different, as if something had fundamentally changed, but he really… didn’t.

He felt much the same as he always did whilst cuddling with Dirk after they’d gotten each other off. Which was comfortable, except for the nagging feeling that they really both ought to get a shower and cast some cleaning charms on the sheets before actually going to sleep. And honestly, as far as his anxieties and neuroses went, that really wasn’t bad at all.

Dirk started kissing him, and Regulus let him turn him over.

“Do you want me to — behind or in front?” Dirk asked. His cheeks were pink in the charmed light.

“Whichever you think you’d be more comfortable with,” Regulus said honestly. “I think I’m all right with either.”

“All right,” Dirk said, though he didn’t make any move to change Regulus’s position from lying on his back. He reached for the packet, and seemed to hesitate before putting the condom on.

“Are you all right?” Regulus asked.

“Just nervous,” Dirk said. He leaned down and kissed him. “I know it’s stupid.”

“It’s not,” Regulus said. “It’s all right to be nervous. I’m nervous, too. And I was nervous earlier.” But then he was always nervous about something. Dirk had never seemed to have the same struggles with anxiety that had plagued Regulus for as long as he could remember.

Dirk didn’t say that, though. Most likely because he was a wholly good and decent person, and a lovely boyfriend. “Please tell me if it’s not comfortable,” he said instead.

“I will,” Regulus promised. “And if you want to wait — that’s fine, too. I really don’t mind.”

Dirk shook his head. “I want to.” He managed to put the condom on without much more hesitation. He reached for the lube and looked to Regulus. “Er, do you know how much?”

“Loads more than you think you’ll need, I think,” Regulus said. That was, at least, what every single wizard who’d had sex with another wizard had ever told him, and that was what he’d done earlier.

Dirk nodded. “All right.”

It wasn’t comfortable, at least not to start. Dirk went slow, and it didn’t  _ hurt, _ so Regulus encouraged him to go on. He wasn’t totally sure why this was the pinnacle everyone reached for — surely blow jobs were more fun for both parties, and took much less preparation. But, well, it was nice. Especially with Dirk.

Dirk came before he did this time, and he apologised profusely for it and kissed every inch of Regulus he could reach, despite Regulus’s insistence that it was perfectly all right.

After they both felt like they could manage it, they went back to the bathroom, took another shower together, charmed the sheets clean, and crawled into bed together and fell asleep.

And, well, surely there was no better way to fall asleep than in your boyfriend’s arms. Of that, Regulus was certain.


	14. Chapter 14

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Regulus has a run-in after Quidditch practise

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> what have i been doing for the past 48 hours, you might ask? streaming folklore by taylor swift on loop. ~~"august" might be a good general vibe for someone - not regulus - in these chapters~~

It wasn’t terribly often that Regulus found himself alone at Hogwarts (or, well, even over hols, anymore). It wasn’t necessarily by design, but it seemed that he was almost always with someone, be it Max or Isaac, or Dirk, or Emmeline or Mary, or another prefect or a member of his Quidditch team.

Of course, he still found himself alone  _ sometimes, _ and it wasn’t as if he wasn’t given the privacy he desired (he very much was). But especially after the letter his mother had sent to every Pureblood family in the country over a year and a half before, his friends never seemed to let him walk the castle grounds or corridors alone.

So, after he’d stayed back to lock up the broom shed following Quidditch practise at the end of February, having set everyone on the team on ahead, he supposed he couldn’t be terribly surprised that he found himself intercepted. He’d been on his way to meet up with his friends, and now Barty Crouch stood between him and the castle.

Regulus rolled his eyes and gripped his wand tight out of view. A cursory glance showed no friends anywhere nearby — and why would they be? It was  _ freezing. _ Most people elected to stay in the castle in this weather, barring Quidditch practise. He rather thought Barty was still afraid of him, but who knew? Maybe he’d got over it. He hoped not, for his own sake. “What do you want?”

Crouch glanced around, and, seeing no one, pulled up his sleeve.

Regulus had never seen a Dark Mark before, but it was unmistakable: angry, ugly, and blood red, like an open wound — the snake coming out of the mouth of the skull. It looked rather like something a tryhard teenager would come up with, and not a powerful and feared Dark Wizard.

“Is that supposed to impress me?” Regulus asked, sounding much more confident than he felt. He was, after all, very openly dating a Muggleborn. He was certain the whole school knew by now. It was likely that Crouch was threatening him.

“I was  _ personally selected.” _

“And I should care about that… why?”

“You really made the wrong choice.”

Regulus narrowed his eyes. “Are you threatening me?”

“Of course not,” Crouch said. “I’m recruiting you.”

Regulus very nearly laughed. The idea that anyone was stupid enough to think there was  _ any  _ chance of him joining the Death Eaters was the most ridiculous thing he’d ever heard. But he was well aware that Crouch was psychotic, so instead, he said: “Piss off, Crouch.”

“If you change your mind…”

“I won’t,” Regulus said.

“You should know, if I see you on the battlefield –”

“You won’t,” Regulus said. He had absolutely no intention of fighting in this war, and he wanted to battle Crouch even less. “I’m going to go back to Ravenclaw Tower now.”

“I’ll just recruit Rosier instead.”

“Rosier can make his own mistakes,” Regulus said. He really wasn’t terribly concerned with what mistakes Rosier did make, especially now that each mistake he’d made would have  _ nothing _ to do with him. He didn’t think Rosier had said two words to him since the Incident, and that was nearly a year ago. Regulus preferred it that way.

“What, don’t you want to try to save him?”

“I want you to leave me alone,” Regulus said. “I don’t  _ care _ that you’ve signed your life away to worship some megalomaniac who I’ve on good authority isn’t actually a Pureblood, even though your father is the head of the DMLE, so you’ll likely wind up in Azkaban before you know it. You mean  _ nothing _ to me. Less than nothing, really. I’m not interested. At all. So piss off.” He brandished his wand and stepped around Crouch to go up to Ravenclaw Tower.

Max and Isaac waved him on from the common room, which they really only did when Dirk was hiding in the dormitory, so even though he desperately wanted to spend time with them, he went on ahead. Sure enough, when he got to the dormitory, Dirk was waiting for him on his bed. Regulus kissed him.

“How was Quidditch practise?”

“I’m still not telling you our plays,” Regulus teased. “Although…”

“Yeah?”

“Crouch intercepted me after practise to attempt to convince me to join the Death Eaters.”

Dirk laughed. “What?”

“I know,” Regulus said. He kissed Dirk again. “I told him to piss off.”

“You didn’t tell him you enjoy sucking Muggleborn cock too much?” Dirk asked.

“Well, now I wish I had,” Regulus said. He trailed kisses down Dirk’s neck and fumbled with his trousers. Dirk fumbled with Regulus’s tie and pulled him back up for a kiss.

Regulus, however, wasn’t distracted from his goal; he unbuttoned Dirk’s shirt and kissed his way down his chest. Dirk gasped and moaned, and this time, he let Regulus unbutton his belt, pull his trousers down, and take him into his mouth.

* * *

Regulus woke up with Dirk spooning him. Dirk was hard against him. He wasn’t sure if the anti-eavesdropping charms they’d put on the bed the night before were still working, but that didn’t stop him from pushing back into him.

Dirk found his hip with one hand. “Maybe we should cast another set of charms?” he asked.

“My thoughts exactly,” Regulus said.

He reached for his wand and cast the charms. It was a Sunday morning, so there was no class to worry about, and if they missed breakfast, that wouldn’t be so bad, either; they were both prefects who knew how to find the kitchen. 

Dirk started stroking him. Regulus felt him kiss his shoulder.

“Do you want to —  _ fuck _ — Merlin — fuck me?”

“Thought you’d never ask,” Dirk whispered into his shoulder. 

Dirk continued stroking him until he came, and then kissed the spot where his neck met his shoulder. Regulus let Dirk turn him over, and trusted him to find the lube and a condom on his own while Regulus adjusted his position to make things easier.

After a few moments, Dirk adjusted Regulus’s position just a bit and settled in between his legs, placing delicate kisses along his back.

Regulus relaxed under Dirk’s touch. As the charms were up, he didn’t try to be quiet — he knew that Dirk preferred it when he was as loud as he could be. And, well, it wasn’t as if the feeling wasn’t mutual. They were wizards; they could be as loud as they wanted without anyone besides the two of them ever having to hear anything, which only made it all the more intimate.

They’d both been getting better at this, and it certainly wasn’t for lack of practise. Regulus rather thought they’d spent most every night together since their last Hogsmeade trip, except for when Regulus had had a late Astronomy class, or an early Quidditch practise.

And most of those nights had been spent, at least in part, having sex.

And Regulus hadn’t once felt bad about it.

A part of him kept waiting for the other shoe to drop. For that crushing guilt and nausea to come rushing in and suffocate him. But it never did. The worst that had ever happened — at least as it related to Regulus and Dirk having sex — was that he was once a bit sore during Quidditch practise, and he rather thought Corner had noticed, which had made him a bit anxious.

The sex itself was always nice, though they didn’t always get each other to come before they finished — but then they’d always make sure to take care of that after.

This morning, it seemed, that wouldn’t be a problem.

Afterward, Regulus peaked out of the curtains to see Isaac, fully dressed in Muggle jeans and a jumper, going through his trunk, so he summoned a dressing gown for himself, and Dirk’s boxers and shirt for him. Once they were suitably covered, Regulus lifted the charms and opened the curtains.

“Morning,” he said.

“Morning,” Isaac said. He didn’t bat an eyelash at Dirk’s presence. He’d got used to it. “Trying to find my Transfiguration textbook. It’s not coming when I summon it. I think Max might have borrowed it, and you know as well as I do that trying to wake him up is like trying to wake a dead man.”

“You can borrow mine,” Regulus said. “I’ve Max-proofed my trunk.”

“You’ve not Max-proofed anything,” Isaac said. “He’s cleverer than either of us, and he could easily figure out a workaround for anything we try to do to stop him. He just respects your belongings more than he respects mine.”

Regulus snorted. Isaac had a point. “Yeah, perhaps, but I know I’ve got my Transfiguration textbook, and you can borrow it without having to try to wake Max.”

Isaac glanced toward Max’s bed, which had the curtains half drawn. Max was wearing nothing but pyjama bottoms, and was sleeping soundly, clinging tightly to a stuffed Kneazle. Thalia lay sleeping at the foot of his bed. 

Regulus felt a rush of affection for him; Max was easily the most adorable person he’d ever met, and even though he had a boyfriend (and Dirk was  _ lovely _ and  _ wonderful), _ he thought that was still probably an all right thing to think. It wasn’t as if he was about to act on those thoughts.

“Yeah,” Isaac said. “All right. Thanks.”

Regulus summoned his own Transfiguration textbook and handed it over to Isaac. “We wanted to get a shower; did you need to use the bathroom?”

Isaac shook his head. “I was just going to go down to the library. I’ve already showered and had breakfast.”

“All right,” Regulus said. “I’ll see you at lunch, then.”

“I should be done with the book by then.”

“When Max wakes up, I’ll ask him nicely to return yours.”

“Cheers,” Isaac said.

* * *

Regulus and Dirk walked down to the kitchens after their shower (Max was still asleep) to get breakfast. It wasn’t quite time for the House Elves to have started preparing lunch; they weren’t that late yet.

They took their breakfast to go, and Regulus made sure to get something extra for Max.

It was still too cold to go out onto the grounds, so they went to Dirk’s dormitory, which was closest.

Regulus knew the Hufflepuff common room was meant to be cozy, but something about all the yellow overstuffed chairs and sofas made him uncomfortable. He wasn’t sure why. Perhaps it had to do with how  _ dark _ it was compared to Ravenclaw Tower. He rather thought the space itself was smaller, too. He especially wasn’t a fan of having to crawl through tunnels to get to Dirk’s dormitory. Dirk insisted it was meant to be charming, but Regulus really didn’t see it. The tunnels felt claustrophobic.

Even Dirk’s dormitory was dark and crowded. None of his roommates were in at the moment, so they were able to sit on his bed and eat their breakfast.

“It’s meant to be cozy,” Dirk said.

“I know how it’s  _ meant _ to be,” Regulus said. “But I couldn’t crawl to my dormitory every night, nor could I live with this little light. And it’s so crowded.”

Dirk rolled his eyes and kissed him. “Good thing you’re a Ravenclaw, then, and  _ not _ a Hufflepuff.”

“No offence,” Regulus said, “but I really don’t think there’s very much  _ Hufflepuff _ about me.”

Dirk swept his gaze over him. “Probably not,” he said. “You work hard, but I think that’s just force of habit anymore, and before that, it was because your parents made you. And every house has loyal people. You’re not  _ terribly _ patient, either.”

“Compared to Max, I am,” Regulus said.

“Compared to Max, you’re the Dalai Lama.”

“The what?”

Dirk shook his head. “Never mind. He’s a Muggle figure, I think. But you really shouldn’t compare yourself to Max. Favourably or unfavourably. I mean — I like Max a lot, but… it’s not good to compare yourself to someone so much, even someone you clearly hold in high esteem.”

“You think I hold Max in high esteem?” Regulus asked.

“Well, yes,” Dirk said. “Of course. He’s your best friend. You hold Isaac in high esteem, too. And Mary, and Emmeline.”

“Oh,” Regulus said. “Well, when you put it that way, I suppose you’ve got a point.”

“Of course I do,” Dirk said. He leaned in to kiss him. “I’m your boyfriend, and I love you, and I think I know you quite well by now.”

Wait, had Dirk just said what Regulus thought he said? “I’m sorry, what?”

“Do you  _ not _ think that I know you quite well?” Dirk asked.

“No, of course you do,” Regulus said. “That’s not what I meant. The, erm, the bit before that. Can we back up to that?”

Dirk blushed. “Oh,” he said. “I love you.”

“You love me.”

“Yes.”

“You’re — you’re  _ in _ love with me?”

“Yes,” Dirk said. 

Oh. Regulus wasn’t prepared for this at all. He thought he probably loved Dirk, too. At least, “love” seemed like the only word big enough to describe his feelings. It wasn’t, if he were strictly honest, quite the same as how he felt for Max, but he doubted he’d ever feel the same way for  _ anyone _ that he did for Max. Max was one of a kind, and so it only made sense that the way Regulus felt about him would be that way, too.

But Dirk…

“I love you, too,” Regulus said.

“Oh,” Dirk said. He looked relieved; had he really said that he loved him without expecting Regulus to say it in return? Regulus leaned in and kissed him. 

“I’m so glad you’re my boyfriend,” Regulus said. “And that I get to kiss you every day. And have sex with you almost every night.” He carded his fingers through Dirk’s hair. “I  _ love _ you.”


	15. Chapter 15

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Regulus celebrates Passover with the Scamanders – and Isaac.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know this was supposed to go out yesterday, but I had a migraine come out of nowhere, so enjoy it just a day late!

Regulus couldn’t help but frown when he and Dirk pieced together that the Scamanders’ Passover Seder was going to be on Easter Sunday. He knew, truthfully, that neither of Max’s parents would mind  _ terribly _ if he missed Passover — but  _ Max _ would mind, and things had been a bit tense between them for a while now. He couldn’t exactly make them  _ worse. _

Dirk kissed his cheek. “I’m sure it’s fine. We’ll find some other time over hols to get together. My sisters are bound to spend half of Easter dinner arguing, anyway.”

“If you’re sure,” Regulus said.

“I am,” Dirk said. “Besides, we still need to look into public Floo points in Wales.”

Regulus cast a glance over to the Gryffindor table. “Much as I hate to admit it, Lupin would know. I’m just not sure we can ask him and make sure Sirius doesn’t find out.”

“Do you care if Sirius finds out?” Dirk asked. “I mean, we’re boyfriends. He knows that.”

“Yeah, but he’s  _ Sirius,” _ Regulus said. “He’s already gone on about how we’re so alike because we’re both dating Welsh prefects with Muggle mothers. I think him knowing before the fact would just — make me more anxious, you know?”

“I guess you two do sort of have a… complicated relationship.”

“That’s one way to put it,” Regulus said. 

“I can ask Lupin, if you’d like?” Dirk asked. “Make it out like I’m trying to find a faster way to visit Em? Or you.”

“You wouldn’t mind?”

“Of course not,” Dirk said. He kissed him for good measure. “And then we’ll figure out when and where we’re going to meet.”

* * *

Regulus, Max, and Isaac were put on babysitting duty, and Regulus was surprised to see that Isaac took to Rolf, who was now a toddler (and, according to Jacob and Shira both, constantly needed someone to keep an eye on him), like a natural.

“I’ve always liked kids,” Isaac said at Regulus’s incredulous look. “I was the same way with Gina. Before you were allowed over.”

“She never painted his nails, though,” Max said from his spot on the sofa.

“You’re just jealous, Uncle Max,” Gina said as she applied the varnish to Regulus’s fingernails.

“Why would I be jealous?” Max asked.

“I never painted your nails, either.”

“That’s because I paint my own on hols. See?” He showed off his glittery blue and bronze nails, and Regulus had to repress dirty thoughts on what he wanted Max to do to him with those very fingers. He had a boyfriend, and Dirk was  _ more  _ than talented with his own fingers. This, Regulus knew from experience.

“Where’d you get the glitter?” Gina asked.

“He has a secret stash,” Isaac said. “It just appears.”

“No glitter, please,” Regulus said. “I’m — meeting my boyfriend’s parents later this week, and I — don’t know how they’d feel about it.”

Gina gasped. “Regulus, you have a  _ boyfriend?  _ What’s he like?”

“You’ve met him, Gina,” Max said. “At my bar mitzvah.”

“I don’t remember everyone I met at your bar mitzvah, Uncle Max. That was almost four years ago.”

“His name’s Dirk. He’s nice. And clever. And he’s the Hufflepuff boys’ prefect in our year. We were friends for a while, first.”

“He’s  _ Welsh,” _ Max added. “But we all like him.”

“You say Welsh like it’s a bad thing,” Isaac said.

“Not all of us have got a thing for accents,” Max said.

“Think you might be a bit outvoted here, mate. Between your parents and Jacob and Shira and Reg and  _ me… _ you’re probably the only one who  _ hasn’t _ got a thing for accents.”

“I mean, I don’t like Dirk because of his accent. I don’t think that factors in at all, really,” Regulus said.

“But the point remains that he’s Welsh and we all like him. Though I don’t think Isaac or I like him in the same way you do.”

“Definitely not,” Isaac said. “No offense, Reg.”

“Absolutely none taken. I’d be a bit concerned if my friends fancied my boyfriend.”

Max laughed. “I can assure you, I’ve never thought of Dirk in that way.”

Regulus couldn’t help but wonder, briefly, whether Max had ever thought of  _ him _ that way. But the thought was gone after a second; it really was nice to hear his friends say outright that they supported his relationship.

Two years ago, he hadn't thought he could even have a proper relationship with another boy, let alone one whose parents he’d be meeting in just a few short days.

* * *

Regulus thought he was imagining it at first, but — no. He wasn’t.

Jacob Scamander was a handsome man, of course — he was  _ Max’s brother; _ it wasn’t as if he could ever be unattractive. He had his mother’s dark hair and eyes, and his father’s lankiness and freckles. To be sure, Regulus definitely preferred blokes with blue eyes, himself, and lighter hair (his taste in men tracked as far as that), but Jacob  _ was _ handsome.

And like all of the Scamanders, Jacob was kind and thoughtful, if not a bit too blunt at times. And so Regulus was certain that Jacob can’t have noticed, because he would have said something. Gently, but still.

Isaac blushed when Jacob met his eyes (if only for a second) and asked him how term was going. To be fair, Jacob, like his father, didn’t seem to meet  _ anyone’s _ eyes all that often. Regulus had accepted it as an endearing family quirk, and didn’t think much on it anymore — except for how Isaac had surely noticed the same thing, and he  _ blushed _ when Jacob made eye contact with him. That was certainly not normal.

He stuttered when Jacob asked him if he had a girlfriend — “or boyfriend, you know, surely no one here would judge you.” And then, when Isaac managed to get out a  _ no, I’m not seeing anyone, _ Jacob smiled and said, “Well, I’m sure you’ll find someone someday. You’re a handsome bloke, and you’re clever and kind, so anyone would be lucky to be with you.”

It was a standard Scamander compliment, but its impact on Isaac was profound. He flushed a deeper red than Shira’s shakshuka and stuttered out his thanks and something about focusing on his studies (which was true, but Regulus had far less free time than Isaac and  _ he _ managed a boyfriend — if Lily doing him a favour and letting Regulus and Dirk patrol together played a factor, then he was grateful to his friend).

Max caught Regulus’s eye and gave him a knowing smile. He leaned in to whisper, “Every time.”

Regulus raised his eyebrows, and Max’s smile turned into a grin. He knew that look. They’d talk about it later.

“Not everyone dates in school, you know,” Jacob said. “That’s a — common misconception.”

“Weren’t you in love with Frank Longbottom  _ and _ Ed Bones?” Max asked in the way only a younger sibling would (Regulus would know).

Jacob blushed a bit, but said, “I– yes, but they were straight. Are straight.”

Max rested his chin in his hand. “Did you think you were gay in school, Jake?”

Jacob’s blush intensified, and Regulus nudged Max slightly to tell him to drop it there. “No. I always knew I was bisexual, I think, and although I’ve certainly got a  _ preference _ for men, I’ve always known it wasn’t absolute.”

Regulus caught the look on Max’s face. Oh no. He was up to something. “So is Reg the only one here who’s — actually  _ been with _ another bloke?”

“Max, not in front of the children,” Tina chastised.

Jacob was now nearly as red as Isaac. “I don’t see how it’s your business, but, as you’re so insistent — I’ve — only been with Shira. So — unless you’ve got a secret boyfriend.”

Max laughed. “If I had a boyfriend, you’d all know within the hour.”

“What d’you mean been with?” Gina asked.

“Kissed,” Max said quickly. “And dated. Because I  _ have _ been kissed, thanks.”

“Really?” Jacob asked. “I must’ve missed that letter.”

“He wasn’t out,” Max said. “I was protecting his privacy.”

Regulus felt slightly guilty. But Max was his best friend, and he wasn’t about to risk that. 

“Regulus is far from alone in that respect,” Newt said after a moment of silence. “The — having kissed and dated other boys.”

“You never told me that,” Max said.

Newt shrugged. “It wasn’t as if it was — we both knew it would never work in the long-term. During the Great War. Tina knows all the details, of course.”

Max looked like he had a million questions about that.

“Anyway,” Newt said, seemingly aware that all eyes were on him. “There’s no real standard for — romantic relationships. Romance is a social construct, which, of course, doesn’t mean that it’s not  _ real, _ but simply that…” He looked to his wife.

“Different people mature at different rates,” Tina said. “Some people date when they’re young, others don’t.”

“Maybe you’re simply — like I am,” Jacob said to Isaac, who turned pink again. “And you’ll fall madly in love with someone shortly after you leave Hogwarts, and be grateful that you got to have all of those firsts with them.”

“That’s not the only way Isaac’s like Jacob,” Max whispered into Regulus’s ear.

Regulus was inclined to agree.

“Isaac, if you marry some gorgeous foreigner, I will never let you live it down, and that’s a promise,” Max said aloud.

“You’ll never let me live down getting married, anyway,” Isaac countered.

“Only if you marry a woman.” He went to take a sip of wine and stopped with the glass halfway to his lips. “Okay, that’s not true. I’d never let you live down marrying a man, either.”

And the funny thing was that Isaac didn’t insist, as he always did when Max pulled things like this, that he was straight. Instead, he told Max to shove off and turned back to his meal.

* * *

“That was — strange,” Regulus said to Max in his room after Isaac left. He shrugged out of his day robes and into pyjamas.

“Reg,  _ please _ tell me you agree that he’s a bisexual disaster.”

“I dunno about  _ disaster,” _ Regulus said. “But he definitely fancies your brother.”

“And yours, too,” Max said.

Regulus thought back to all of Isaac’s interactions with Sirius and hummed. “All right, yeah, I can see that.”

“He’s always been like this with Jacob. From day one. Honestly. And I know Jacob’s gorgeous — not as gorgeous as I am, of course, but he  _ is _ my brother — but truly straight blokes don’t act like that around him.”

“I — agree,” Regulus said. He sat down on his bed and Max scooted close.

“Can I admit that I’ve missed cuddling with you? I mean — I know you’ve got a boyfriend, and I respect that, honestly, but — I sort of miss how things were before.”

“I suppose I haven’t had much time for friends, have I?” Regulus asked. 

“You’re busy. I understand. And you’ve got a boyfriend, so I completely understand wanting to shag him rather than sit in my bed with my head in your lap while reading your notes aloud so we can claim we’re being productive. But I miss it.”

That was the thing, wasn’t it? The sex was great, but — it wasn’t cuddling up with Max, and it didn’t fill that hole. He’d have to talk to Dirk about it. “I — do, too,” Regulus said.

“How is it? Sex, I mean. With him.”

Talking about this with  _ Max _ seemed — wrong, somehow, so Regulus shrugged. “I don’t really want to — discuss specifics, if you don’t mind,” he said. “But it’s nice.”

“Does it make me a horrible person to say that I miss when it was just the three of us?” Max asked. “You, me, and Isaac. No boyfriends or girls or brothers hanging round.”

“You mean when I was  _ deeply _ closeted and living in an abusive household?”

“Well, not  _ those parts,” _ Max said. “Obviously. But — the three of us together without — everyone else. Tonight was — almost like old times.”

“We’re sixteen; I don’t think we can claim anything is  _ old times.” _

Max swatted at him. “Shush.” He worried at his lower lip, then. “Do you not miss it?”

Regulus shrugged. “There are aspects of that that I do miss, but I hardly think — it’s not as if more friends and people around who care is a bad thing. I do sometimes wish Isaac had been Prefect instead, or that Corner had been Quidditch captain. Or both. But — things change, and sometimes that’s good, and sometimes it’s not. I know that I’m glad to be living here with you and your parents, glad to still have my two best friends, glad to be able to be — myself. Even if I’m not sure Corner’s ever gotten over me.”

Max laughed. “No! Do you catch him staring in the showers, or something?”

“Sometimes,” Regulus admitted. “It’s — flattering? It’s not as if I’m going to shag him, and he knows that, surely.”

“You’re a heartbreaker,” Max teased. 

“I really hope not,” Regulus said.

“Of course you don’t,” Max said, looking him in the eye and stroking his cheek. Regulus knew he ought to push him away (albeit gently), but he couldn’t. Besides, it was Max. He was affectionate like this with everyone. It’s not as if it meant anything. “You’re far too good for that.”

“So Isaac and Jacob, huh?”

“Isaac and Jacob!” Max repeated. “Jacob has no idea, you know. He just thinks that’s what Isaac’s  _ like, _ because he’s never  _ not _ been like that around him, and Jacob can’t fathom that someone — especially his baby brother’s friend,  _ especially _ a bloke — might fancy him.”

“But Isaac won’t admit it.”

“Of course not,” Max said. “I don’t know why he won’t — admit that he isn’t straight. It’s not as if his parents wouldn’t accept him. It’s not as if he’s got any reason where religion is concerned — I’ve been to his shul, it’s reasonably progressive in terms of gay-related stuff. And — I’ve thought, maybe he just doesn’t realise that straight blokes  _ don’t _ think that way? But surely he must, to some extent.”

“I was in — a different situation, obviously,” Regulus said. “And I —  _ didn’t _ fancy girls — but maybe he just genuinely hasn’t been around enough straight blokes for — longer periods of time? So he thinks it’s — normal, and maybe he can rationalise away not being as — interested in men as  _ we _ are, because he fancies girls?”

“Maybe,” Max said. “But the way he looks at Jacob. How can he not realise?”

“Well, you said he’d always been that way with Jacob. Perhaps it’s that he realises that there’s something strange about how he feels for Jacob, but he can’t pinpoint what it is, because it’s been that way forever?”

“Reg, I’m going to be honest with you — there’ve been blokes I’ve fancied at first sight where it took me a while, but — we’re nearing a decade, here, with Isaac and Jacob.”

“Isaac can honestly say that he fancies girls, though,” Regulus said. “That’s what I always tried to convince myself of, back before… I’d say ‘well, I fancy girls’, but I didn’t want to kiss them or, Merlin forbid,  _ shag _ them. I wanted to befriend them because I was lonely and wanted friends, and because straight blokes made me uncomfortable, for what are now  _ obvious _ reasons. But Isaac — definitely fancies girls. Definitely wants to snog them and shag them. Being around girls makes him  _ less _ comfortable.”

“I’ll take your word on that,” Max said. “I mean, I adore girls, of course. You’ve seen me with Miri.”

“You and Miri together are a force to be reckoned with,” Regulus said.

Max grinned. “It’s what happens when younger siblings unite. If only you and Lily would join us. Then we’d be unstoppable.”

Regulus laughed. Max scooted up close to him and threw an arm around his shoulder. Regulus caught the scent of flowers and cinnamon, and looked at Max out of the corner of his eye. Max’s grin had softened to a smile, and something about it made something deep within Regulus physically ache. He’d missed this closeness, but that wasn’t it. It wasn’t all of it.

But he had a boyfriend, and Max didn’t love him — not like  _ that. _ It was fine. It had to be.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> next chapter takes Regulus to Wales!


	16. Chapter 16

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Regulus goes to meet Dirk's parents

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> it's officially been just over two years of Ravenclaw AU!  
> thank you so much to everyone for all your support - whether you've been here from the beginning, or you've just started today!  
> the notes at the bottom have a surprise, and a chance to ask me anything (anonymously)

“Are you  _ sure _ this looks all right?” Regulus asked, smoothing his hands down his jumper for the hundredth time. “Muggle enough?”

Isaac and Max were gathered on his bed. Really, he’d Flooed Isaac in a panic, because he’d realised he knew  _ nothing _ about Muggle fashion, or Muggle culture, or any of it. Mary or Lily would have been too invested in the  _ meeting the parents _ factor (which had Regulus’s anxiety working overtime as it was), but he trusted Isaac to be perfectly reasonable.

“Definitely sort of  _ posh,” _ Isaac said, “but then you’re the Wizard equivalent of posh, so it fits. And you look good.”

“You look gorgeous,” Max said.

Regulus blushed. “Thanks.”

“Dirk loves you,” Isaac said. “I’m sure he wouldn’t introduce you to his parents if he didn’t think they’d like you.”

“I know,” Regulus said, “but I still — I haven’t really interacted with Muggles before. It’s all been limited to shopkeepers in town.”

“They’re really not that different, and I’m sure Dirk’s told them that Wizards don’t have electricity or television or telephones, which, really, about covers all of the major points.”

“I suppose…”

Isaac rolled his eyes. “Reg,  _ half my family _ are Muggles. They’re  _ really _ not that different, believe me. My main concern  _ would _ be homophobia, but if Dirk’s inviting you to spend the night, I sincerely doubt that that’ll be an issue. Really. Instead of Quidditch, it’s football, and instead of Wireless shows, they have television shows. And if you say something that they don’t understand, they already know you’re a Wizard. You haven’t got to worry about the Statute, because they’ll all already know.”

“If you’re sure…” Regulus said.

“I am,” Isaac said.

* * *

He met Dirk in Cardiff, by one of the public Floo points. He hugged him quickly, and, as they  _ were _ in the small Wizarding quarter, kissed him. As much as he wanted to linger, they  _ did _ need to catch a train. “How was your Easter?” he asked as they started to the train station.

“It was nice,” Dirk said. “Except. Well. Gwen brought her boyfriend without telling anyone she even  _ had _ a boyfriend, so she and Carly got into a fight, because Carly’s been badgering Mum and Dad to bring  _ her _ boyfriend round, which was all — less nice. How was Passover?”

“Max invited Isaac over, and Isaac spent the whole seder blushing and stuttering every time Max’s brother spoke to him.”

_ “Isaac?” _

“Isaac. It was — really quite weird, actually.”

“I thought he was straight?”

“That’s what he says,” Regulus said.

“You don’t believe it?”

Regulus shrugged. “I believe  _ he _ believes it.”

“He really acted like he — fancied Max’s brother?”

“Yeah,” Regulus said. “And, I mean, you’ve met Jacob, haven’t you?”

“I don’t really remember his  _ face. _ Just that he’s tall and skinny and — he’s got dark hair, hasn’t he? Darker than Max’s?”

“Yeah,” Regulus said. “He looks a lot like Max, really, but he’s got brown eyes and black hair. And he’s thirteen years older. And married to a witch. But he  _ is _ bisexual. Not that that helps Isaac’s chances.”

“I guess Isaac’s always sort of struck me as straight,” Dirk said. “But then I’ve really mostly seen him in the context of you, Em, and Max. And I’m sure  _ I _ seem straight compared to Max.”

“Only when you’re wearing clothes,” Regulus teased.

“Oi, you.”

“You can show me how  _ not _ straight you are later.”

“I intend to. Trust me.”

They walked together — though not hand-in-hand — to the train station. It wasn’t terribly long, and he’d never really been to Cardiff before, so Dirk took the opportunity to point out a few important buildings and landmarks as they passed.

The train to Swansea took a little over an hour, and it was really  _ nothing _ like the Hogwarts Express, even if it was technically the same mode of transit. There was no trolly witch, but a man  _ did _ come by to check their tickets — which Dirk produced. Regulus hadn’t even been aware there’d  _ been _ tickets. 

“I can pay you back for my ticket,” he said. 

“I know you  _ can, _ but it’s really not a problem.”

“If you’re sure.”

“I am.”

By far the most uncomfortable thing about being in Muggle society was that he knew he couldn’t exactly be openly affectionate with his boyfriend. Right now, Regulus  _ really _ wanted to kiss him, but he couldn’t. He’d have to wait. It was unfair, really.

They made easy conversation along the way, which helped a bit in distracting Regulus from how badly he wanted to kiss Dirk. Before he knew it, the train was pulling into the station, and Dirk was taking his bag and leading him out of the train, onto the platform, and then into the station proper.

“Oh, thank god, Gwen actually showed up,” Dirk said, leading Regulus over to where a tall girl with light brown hair was leaning against a wall, smoking a cigarette. “You know those things’ll kill you, Gwen,” Dirk said to her.

She rolled her eyes, threw the cigarette on the ground, and stomped it out. “Maybe I  _ want _ to die.”

“What a  _ great _ first impression for my boyfriend,” Dirk said. “Reg, this is Gwen, my sister. Gwen, this is my boyfriend, Regulus.”

Gwen looked him up and down. “He looks posh.”

“Can you just drive us home?”

“Fine, but you’ll have to sit in the back.”

“Your boyfriend  _ can’t _ stay for dinner,” Dirk said. 

“He won’t,” Gwen said, starting to walk toward the parking lot. Dirk and Regulus followed her. “I’m going round his.”

* * *

Dirk’s family lived in a terraced house that Dirk specified wasn’t very far from the university where his father worked. Regulus wasn’t quite sure what sort of school a university was, but he knew that Dirk’s father was a professor, so he nodded as if he understood and made a mental note to ask Isaac about it. Dirk helped him with his suitcase.

Regulus had, at Lily’s suggestion, gone to the West Country estate and grabbed a bottle of wine from the wine cellar. It was all his now, after all, because Sirius really didn’t care for wine.

Dirk took him to his room first, and shut the door behind them. Regulus tried not to stare at how  _ Muggle _ the house was, but he did know enough to know that Dirk had a record player in his room, and a pretty substantial collection of records, at that.

“Has Sirius ever made you listen to Muggle music?” Dirk asked, following Regulus’s gaze.

“A few times,” Regulus said.

“We can listen to some tonight.”

Finally, in the privacy of Dirk’s family’s flat, in his bedroom, Regulus kissed him. Dirk kissed him back, and they stumbled toward the bed.

“Shouldn’t have sex before dinner,” Dirk breathed as Regulus trailed kisses down his neck.

“Blow jobs?”

“I’ll lock the door.”

* * *

Regulus looked himself over in the mirror twice before leaving Dirk’s room to go wash his hands. He wanted to make a good impression on Dirk’s parents, and he had a feeling that no matter  _ how _ accepting Dirk’s parents were, they probably would like him better if he  _ didn’t _ look like he and Dirk had just spent the past fifteen or twenty minutes blowing each other.

Dirk kissed his cheek. “You look gorgeous, don’t worry.”

“I want your parents to like me,” Regulus said.

“They will.” Dirk laced his fingers through Regulus’s and together they walked out to the living room, where a teenage girl and an older man were focused on what could only be a television set. Even Isaac’s parents didn’t have a television; Regulus felt completely out of his depth.

“Dad, Carly, this is my boyfriend, Regulus. Reg, this is my other sister, Carly, and my dad.”

Dirk’s dad stood up to shake his hand. “It’s a pleasure to meet you, Regulus.”

“It’s a pleasure to meet you, too, sir,” Regulus said, shaking his hand.

“Dirk’s told us a lot about you.”

“H-has he?” Regulus asked. He felt Dirk squeeze his hand.

“Of course I have,” Dirk said. “You’re my  _ boyfriend, _ and I fancied you for quite a while before I managed to ask you out.”

* * *

Regulus was sat next to Dirk at the dining table, near the corner closest Dirk’s mother. He felt profoundly uncomfortable. He was acutely aware that all eyes were on him, so he just  _ knew _ he’d say something incredibly stupid.

“So, Regulus,” Carly started.

Regulus couldn’t help but notice how Dirk seemed to have tensed. “Yes?”

“Do the people at your school care that you’re… you know…?”

“That I’m what?” Regulus asked.

“You know…”

“She means gay,” Dirk said. “And I’ve told her they don’t.”

“Most people don’t,” Regulus agreed. “There are some people from, er, families sort of – like mine who think… it’s not the being  _ gay, _ exactly, or even being with another boy, it’s the unwillingness to suck it up and marry a w– girl and have an heir. If people have a problem with me dating Dirk, and they’re from magical families, it’s usually because I’ve been very clear that I’m not willing to… do that.”

“But they’d be fine if you’d  _ had _ an heir?” Dirk asked. “That seems… I mean, Rosier, sure, but Rosier’s mad for you, anyway.”

“Being with another boy would be a scandal regardless, but if I were to affirm my willingness to marry a proper girl from a family like mine and have a son first, most people would look the other way. It’s not – my uncle was with a man, and the man he was with is very… affluent. And just about everyone knew, but no one was going to do anything about it, because the man he was with has had two sons with a woman the society my family’s from deems acceptable.”

“But he can’t be very open about it.”

“If my uncle had had children… well, really, the issue would have been the concern that boys like  _ me _ would have seen that you can actually be happy. But that’s got nothing to do with being  _ gay, _ either. My cousin Narcissa is the only person I’ve  _ ever _ met from a family remotely like mine who was allowed to marry the person she wanted to without being disowned, and it’s not as if – I mean, I’ve had relatives disowned for marrying Weasleys, and the Weasleys have been a magical family as long as mine has.” 

Regulus was well aware that he was making an arse of himself, but Dirk squeezed his hand.

“But, for example, if either of my roommates, neither of whom are from families remotely like mine, were to get boyfriends – I don’t think  _ anyone _ would take any issue with it.”

“Well, Sirius would definitely tease Isaac about it,” Dirk said.

“Yeah, but only because Isaac fancies him and Sirius takes way too much pleasure in the fact that one of my friends doesn’t find him annoying and obnoxious. And Sirius is gay, so it’s hardly as if he’d be teasing him because he’s  _ homophobic.” _

“You’ve got a point,” Dirk said. “I think… it’s really interesting to look at how different forms of prejudice come across between people from magical and non-magical families.”

“Gallagher thought Nigel was bothered that he was Irish. Or black.”

Carly’s eyebrows shot up. “Your family wouldn’t have minded if you’d been with a  _ girl _ who was black or Irish?”

“Not if she were from the right sort of family,” Regulus said. “And if they did, it would be because families like mine don’t tend to be allowed to date who you want, regardless.”

“So what sort of prejudices do people from magical families have?”

“Er, I think there  _ is _ some nationalism, but not really… not like how non-magical English people are,” Dirk said.

“And that’s mostly around the Quidditch World Cup. Well, and the European Cup.”

“That mental sport on  _ brooms?” _ Carly asked. “Come off it. There’s no way you’ve got a World Cup.”

“Oh, we definitely do,” Regulus said. “I’ve already bought tickets for the next one.”

“Of course you have,” Dirk said. “Reg’s actually the captain of his House’s Quidditch team.”

Regulus’s attempt to change the subject worked, and he spent the rest of dinner trying to explain Quidditch without really knowing anything about any Muggle sports that might help to compare it.

Afterward, the whole family (and Regulus) went into the living room to watch television, and Dirk sat next to Regulus on the sofa. 

“I think they quite like you,” Dirk said. “Though I knew they would.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> for the second anniversary of ravenclaw au, i commissioned some fanart, which can be seen [here](https://xslytherclawx.tumblr.com/post/626936253203562496/today-marks-two-years-since-ravenclaw-au-was-first)!  
> additionally, i put up a survey for the next month, for the opportunity to ask me anything totally anonymously. these aren't focused questions, and while technically all of them are "required", feel free to just type in N/A for any you don't want to answer. [the survey is here](https://www.surveymonkey.com/r/QKPYWJV)  
> thank you all again!


	17. Chapter 17

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Max wants to have a party for Shavuos.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> the survey is still ongoing; link at the bottom!

About a month after they got back to Hogwarts, Max announced, “Let’s have a party for Shavuos!” It was a normal Tuesday night in their dormitory, and they’d been discussing their upcoming Potions exam.

Regulus looked to Isaac, who shrugged. “What d’you mean party for Shavuos?”

“Well, it’s nearly time for exams, so you can study Torah, if you’d like, and I’d certainly be happy to debate with you, but everyone else can just — study. We’ll invite Miri and Emmeline and — Dirk, I suppose — and probably also Mary. Maybe Lily? Not Sirius and his friends because only Remus would take it seriously.”

“Lily and Remus might both already have something,” Regulus said.

“That’s true,” Max said. “We could ask them anyway. Well. Lily. I dunno if I trust Remus not to tell Sirius everything.”

“I don’t think Sirius would appreciate Remus spending a Saturday night without him. He’d probably gate crash,” Regulus said.

“That’s true,” Max said. “Just Lily, then. Well… we can tell Remus, and if he’s able to come, he’ll be welcome. I don’t really want to like — exclude a Jewish person just because his boyfriend’s annoying. No offense, Reg.”

“None taken,” Regulus said. “I know Sirius is annoying. He  _ is _ my brother.”

“So we’re agreed? It’ll be the three of us, and we’ll ask Miri, Emmeline, Dirk, Mary, Lily, and Remus. But Remus only on the condition that he doesn’t let Sirius come.”

“I don’t want this to devolve into something more fit for — Purim, or something,” Isaac said.

“It  _ won’t,” _ Max said. “You and me and Miri are the only ones who aren’t prefects, and as much fun as Miri is, she does take Jewish holidays seriously. Well – more seriously than I do, anyway.”

“Fine,” Isaac said. “It’s on a Saturday this year, anyway. Might as well.”

Max grinned. “Brilliant!”

* * *

“I know exams are coming up and all,” Mary said, looking around, “But you  _ did _ say party.”

“They’re Ravenclaws,” Dirk said. “This  _ is _ a party for them.”

“Hey,” Regulus protested.

Dirk rolled his eyes and kissed Regulus on the cheek. “You know I think it’s cute. But you can’t tell a  _ Gryffindor _ that this is a party.”

“What would make it feel more like a party?” Max asked. Regulus had a feeling that he’d been itching for an excuse to do anything else for a while, now. He’d been quiet for far too long.

“We could play a game,” Mary suggested.

“What kind of game?” Max asked.

Mary glanced around the room. “Truth or dare? That, or spin the bottle?”

“Not truth or dare,” Max said. “I’m bad at it.”

“How can you be  _ bad _ at truth or dare?” Dirk asked.

“Isaac and I know everything about him, and he’s afraid of what we’d dare him to do,” Regulus said.

“Yeah, that,” Max said. “I know both of you too well to  _ not _ be afraid of your dares. Maybe if neither of you were here. But what’s spin the bottle?”

“We all sit in a circle,” Mary said, “and spin around an empty bottle — we’ve got plenty of those — and you’ve got to kiss whoever it lands on.”

“I don’t think we really have the makeup for that,” Emmeline said.

Regulus was inclined to agree; in the room were two gay blokes, a bi bloke, a lesbian, a straight girl, and… Isaac (and if, after Passover, Regulus thought that there was no chance that Isaac was  _ straight —  _ well, Isaac didn’t seem about to admit it, and Regulus knew better than to push).

“Well,” Mary said, “how about… if you don’t want to kiss — whoever it is, then you — both have to do a truth or dare question?”

“Or we just don’t play if we don’t want to,” Isaac said.

Regulus fought the urge to roll his eyes. It was clear even to him that Isaac had been nursing a small crush on Mary for a  _ while _ — as Isaac did with pretty girls, really.

“If you  _ really _ don’t want to, you don’t have to,” Mary said. “We could also do like — kisses on the cheek, too.”

“Why don’t we just play?” Max asked, “And go from there?”

Everyone was generally in agreement, except for Emmeline, who was grumbling, and Mary corralled everyone into a circle in the middle of the dormitory floor. Regulus found himself sitting between Max and Dirk, and across from Mary. Isaac sat between Mary and Max, and Emmeline was between Mary and Dirk.

Mary brandished an empty butterbeer bottle, placed it in the center of the circle, facing herself, and spun. It landed on Max, who laughed. 

“Figures,” Max said. “Well, I’m secure enough in my sexuality to kiss a girl on the cheek.”

“I’m supposed to kiss  _ you _ on the cheek,” Mary said.

“That’s fine, too,” Max said.

Mary leaned in, then, across Isaac, and kissed Max quickly on the cheek. “Now you spin,” she said.

“Easy,” Max said. He spun the bottle and watched it eagerly as it spun around. It slowed, and for a second, Regulus thought that it would stop on him — and he felt his heart start to race at the possibility of kissing Max again — but then it went right past him and stopped in front of Isaac. Regulus tried not to feel disappointed. He had a  _ boyfriend. _ A lovely, kind, thoughtful boyfriend who loved him.

“I just want to protest that this is  _ not _ in the spirit of Shavuos,” Isaac said.

Max rolled his eyes. “Relax. I’m not eager to snog you, either, believe it or not. So it’s your choice: truth or dare or kiss?”

Isaac considered it, and the fact that he was even  _ considering _ it when Regulus had  _ played _ truth or dare with the two of them before meant that he  _ really _ didn’t want to kiss Max. “Fine,” Isaac said after a moment. “A kiss. On the  _ cheek, _ Max.”

“This game is too tame,” Mary said.

Max rolled his eyes again and kissed Isaac’s cheek. “Is your heterosexuality still intact?”

“Oh, shove off,” Isaac said. He couldn’t fancy  _ Max, _ could he? Max was wonderful and kind and charming and fun and lovely, but Regulus had never thought that Isaac, of all people, ever viewed Max in that sort of way. (Max’s brother, however, was a different matter entirely). “It’s not because you’re a  _ bloke,” _ Isaac said. “It’s because you’re  _ you.  _ Kissing you’d be like kissing Miri.”

Max hummed. “Okay, you know what? I actually think I agree with that. It’d be like kissing my annoying older brother. If my older brother were annoying, that is, because Jacob is lovely.” Isaac scoffed, but Max paid him no mind. “Your turn to spin, love.”

Isaac spun, though he didn’t look very happy about it. His expression, Regulus noted, changed drastically when the bottle stopped in front of Mary. He looked like his birthday had come early.

Mary grinned. “You’d better make this interesting, Goldstein.”

Max nudged Regulus and raised his eyebrows in a very unsubtle gesture that surely even Isaac and Mary noticed. “Mary, was this all just an elaborate set up for you to kiss Isaac?” Max asked. “If so, I approve.”

“Max, shove off!” Isaac said.

Regulus leaned to bury his face in the crook of Dirk’s neck to try to stop from laughing. He felt Dirk wrap an arm around his waist.

Max poked his side. “Reg, you can’t  _ look away _ from this.”

“Oh my  _ god, _ Max,” he heard Isaac say. “It’s just spin the bottle!”

Regulus did look over then; Isaac and Mary were facing each other, and they were both rather pinker than normal. Maybe Max had a point, actually. Mary  _ did _ always seem to ask after Isaac.

“You’ve got to be the one to kiss me,” Mary said.

Isaac scooted a bit closer to her and leaned in. Regulus wondered idly if Isaac had ever kissed anyone before. He felt like that was probably the sort of thing that Isaac would tell him, but then again, to Regulus’s knowledge, neither he nor Max had told Isaac about their kiss nearly two years before.

Regulus felt awkward  _ watching, _ so he did avert his gaze as Isaac and Mary actually kissed. Isaac was unmistakably bright red when Mary pulled away — but so was she.

“It’s my turn again, then?” Mary asked. She spun, and the bottle landed on Dirk. Dirk glanced over to Regulus, as if them playing this ridiculous game in the first place wasn’t saying that it was okay if they kissed someone during the game.

“I don’t mind,” Regulus said. “It’s just a game, isn’t it?”

“If you’re sure,” Dirk said.

“I am.”

Mary leaned across the circle, in front of Emmeline (who, Regulus noted, looked bored), and kissed Dirk. It was a quick peck on the lips, but it was still strange watching his boyfriend kiss something else. Stranger still, he didn’t feel remotely jealous. But then it was just a game, wasn’t it?

Dirk spun the bottle, and it landed on Regulus.

“Unfair!” Max protested. “You’re  _ dating! _ You kiss all the time, anyway!”

“Then at least  _ someone _ should have a proper snog,” Mary said.

Dirk shrugged and leaned in to kiss Regulus. It was easy for Regulus to lose himself in the kiss, to open his mouth and bury his fingers in Dirk’s hair — it was Dirk, after all, even if they were in front of all of their friends — and he pulled him close.

“She said  _ snog, _ not  _ shag,” _ Isaac said after a minute or so.

Regulus pulled away. Dirk was blushing as deeply as Regulus suspected he was. Kissing was nothing new, but kissing in front of their friends — and being reminded of it — was not something they’d made a habit of.

“Isaac, do we have to explain to you how two blokes shag?” Dirk asked.

“I know how two blokes shag,” Isaac protested. “It was a hyperbole.”

“Do you though?” Max asked.

“Yes! I do! Do you want me to demonstrate?”

“That’s sweet of you, but Isaac, love, you’re really not my type.”

Isaac rolled his eyes. “Shove off, Max. You know that’s not what I meant.”

“Anyway,” Emmeline said. “Reg, I think it’s your turn to spin.”

So he did. And the bottle landed on Max.

Regulus felt as if his heart was going to pound out of his chest, but it was different from how it was when he was anxious. This was  _ Max. _ Regulus had a boyfriend. A gorgeous boyfriend who was a fantastic fucking kisser.

“Er,” Max said.

“I — I don’t mind, Reg,” Dirk said. “Not if Max doesn’t.”

Regulus looked from Dirk to Max, who was bright red. Max shrugged, which Regulus supposed was as good as he was going to get. It had been nearly a year, after all, since the last time they’d kissed. Surely Max was over him. Regulus swallowed hard, and leaned in to kiss Max. He was careful not to completely close the distance on his own, and Max slowly closed the gap.

Regulus really meant for it to be as chaste as possible, but the next thing he knew, Max’s hands were in his hair, and his tongue was in his mouth, and Regulus instinctively reached out to cup Max’s jaw. He buried his free hand in Max’s hair. Fuck, this was almost too good to be true. Max tasted, somehow, of strawberries and peppermint.

“Oi, you two,” Isaac said. “There are other people in the room, you know.”

Regulus pulled away. “Er…” How the  _ fuck _ was he going to explain that he’d just snogged his completely platonic best friend just as hard as he had his actual boyfriend, when said boyfriend was just on his other side?

“Er, I can — spin, now,” Max said.

“I think… maybe it’s time for a snack break,” Emmeline said. “Isaac, you said you had the House Elves make cheesecake, right?”

“Yes, right!” Isaac said. “It’s traditional! Well, at least in my family. Max — does your family do cheesecake?”

Max cleared his throat. Oh, fuck, Regulus had snogged him. Fuck, fuck, fuck. “We do… cheesecake and blintzes and kugel. But I didn’t think it was worth trying to teach the House Elves how to make blintzes and kugel.”

“Oh, what’s a blintz?” Mary asked, as if that were the most interesting thing in the world. 

So Max told her, and Regulus wondered just how badly he’d fucked up.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> the anniversary survey is still open (until 9/19/20!) and accessible [here](https://www.surveymonkey.com/r/QKPYWJV)!  
> also, because two weeks from today is Rosh Hashanah, the next chapter will be out 9/26/20 (with the year six round up survey, and anniversary survey results)!


	18. Chapter 18

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Regulus talks to Dirk.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I apologise for the delay; the High Holy Days just snuck up on me and by the time it was over, it was Tuesday, and I prefer updating on the weekends.

Regulus tried to tell himself that he was being ridiculous, and that Dirk wouldn’t just dump him over a game of spin the bottle. Because that had been it; it was just a game of spin the bottle. It had nothing to do with  _ Max, _ really.

But Dirk had left with Mary, and made a joke about abusing his Prefect badge and not outright sneaking back to his dormitory. He’d have typically asked to spend the night.

Regulus was thinking too much into it. It was his anxiety. It always made everything seem a million times worse than it was. This was no exception. His anxiety just didn’t listen to reason, but Dirk did.

Dirk caught him after patrols on the night before the last Hogsmeade visit of the year — the day of their final exam of the term. “Can we talk?”

Regulus’s first thought was that all of his anxiety the past week hadn’t been wrong. He’d definitely fucked up; it was just a matter of  _ how badly. _ Still, he managed to nod and followed Dirk to a spare classroom.

“I’m not going to mince words,” Dirk said, after casting some privacy charms on the room. Regulus didn’t let himself get excited, because they never shagged in disused classrooms.

“All right,” Regulus said.

“I know that’ll just make this a million times worse for you, and I — I really don’t want to do that.”

Regulus had never been dumped before, but he had a strong feeling that this was typically how it happened.

“I love you,” Dirk said.

“I love you, too,” Regulus said. And it was the truth. He just — loved Max, too, and maybe a little bit  _ more, _ but he wasn’t about to tell  _ Dirk _ that.

“Reg,” Dirk said. “At the party — I know it was just a game, and that’s fine. I kissed Mary. But that’s not — all it was, to you, was it? With Max?”

“What do you mean?” Regulus asked.

“I always sort of thought there was something… off with the way you and Max act together, but I shrugged it off as — look, he’s a Scamander; we all know his whole family’s a bit odd, so I just thought — that was how Max was, and you put up with it more than Isaac, so that would be why he’s always been closer to you. And Max is your best friend, and you’re both gay, and I’ve really never minded the two of you being affectionate with each other.”

“But…?”

“But that kiss on Saturday had about five and a half years’ worth of pent-up sexual frustration in it.”

“It’s Max,” Regulus said, as if that explained it all. He didn’t clarify that it was more like eight  _ months’  _ worth of pent-up sexual frustration, because he knew that would only make things worse.

“I’m aware that it’s Max,” Dirk said. “And if it had just been  _ Max _ grabbing you and kissing you, that would have been one thing. If you hadn’t snogged him for two full minutes, that would have been another.”

Two full minutes? Surely that was an exaggeration.

“It’s been a lot of little things, really,” Dirk said, “but that sort of just clicked everything into place.”

“What do you mean?” Regulus asked.

“Reg, can you honestly tell me that you’re not in love with Max?”

There it was. “I’m in love with you,” Regulus said. “I’m  _ with _ you. I’d never cheat on you — it was a game, and we might’ve gotten carried away, and you  _ said _ you didn’t mind. If you’d have asked me not to, I never would have.”

“I didn’t mind if you gave him a quick peck on the lips like Mary’d done with me,” Dirk said.

“I tried!” Regulus said. “And then — I don’t know what happened!”

“You’re in love with him,” Dirk said. “That’s what happened. You’re in love with him, and you finally got to kiss him.”

Regulus bit back a retort about how he  _ had _ kissed Max before, even before he’d even  _ come out _ to Dirk, and again on his sixteenth birthday, but that wouldn’t help anyone.

“Reg,” Dirk said, “if you’re not in love with him, then we can work through this. But it’s nearly summer, and you  _ live _ with him, you share a dormitory with him, and if it’s just — attraction, or a crush, then — that’s fine. We’ll work through it. But the thing is — he’s obviously in love with you.”

Regulus tried his best to seem disinterested in that information. It probably wasn’t even true, anyway. It had been two years. Max  _ had _ to have gotten over him. “Why… why can’t we work through it regardless?”

“Because if you’re in love with him, actually  _ in love, _ then I’ll always come after him, and I want to — make this as painless for both of us as possible. Drawing it out won’t help either of us.”

“I love  _ you,” _ Regulus said.

“As much as you love Max?”

Regulus knew that if he said  _ yes, _ that there might be a chance. He might be able to talk Dirk down from this, and they might be able to work through things and visit each other over the summer, and things might – might work out. But he’d be lying, and Dirk didn’t deserve that.

“I — I love both of you,” Regulus said, “but I’m with you. I chose you.”

“Except something tells me that if Max had asked you to the Christmas party, too, you’d have gone with him instead. I got there first; that’s it.”

“That’s not  _ it,” _ Regulus said. “I  _ love _ you! I wouldn’t — wouldn’t have slept with just  _ anyone, _ Dirk!”

“All right,” Dirk said. “Let’s try this a different way. Honestly, Reg, can you ever see yourself marrying me? Or would it just be dating, maybe through the rest of school, and eventually breaking up, and moving on, and marrying Max instead?”

“I still have trouble picturing my life after school,” Regulus said. “It’s difficult enough for me to let myself believe that I’ll be allowed to do what I love, let alone get married.” That was, after all, the truth. Even if he dated Max, Max would doubtlessly never actually  _ marry _ him.

“Regulus,” Dirk said.

“That’s the truth,” Regulus said. “I try, sometimes, to picture marrying a man, spending the rest of my life with a man, but it doesn’t matter  _ who _ I try to picture — you, or Max, or literally  _ anyone else —  _ I can’t picture it. And I know I’m gay, and I’ll hopefully get married, but — right now, my mind won’t — it won’t  _ let _ me picture anything beyond a year from now. And that’s  _ not _ a you thing. It’s absolutely a  _ me _ thing.”

“All right,” Dirk said. “But I still think — you’re in love with him, Reg. You’ve admitted it. And I don’t think I can — date you and know that. And it’s not as if I don’t trust you, because I do, and you’ve really been a wonderful boyfriend, but — just think if — if Emmeline were into men, and I was in love with her. You wouldn’t like that, even though I love you, too.”

Regulus could hardly picture Emmeline being interested in men, but he supposed Dirk had a point. That was what made this so painful. 

“I really do love you, you know,” Regulus said.

“I know,” Dirk said. 

“Can you, er, make sure that Isaac doesn’t hear?” Regulus asked after a moment. “He’s — got that date with Mary tomorrow, and he’s mad for her, and I’d — hate to ruin it for him. I’ll tell him on Sunday.”

“All right,” Dirk said. “I’ll – keep it quiet.”

“I know I’m hardly the person to be making requests, but…”

“You haven’t done anything wrong,” Dirk said. Regulus disagreed; he rather thought that snogging his best friend in front of him had been  _ pretty obviously wrong,  _ even if it  _ had _ been part of a game. “You can’t  _ help _ being in love with both of us. It’s just that I’m not the sort of person who can — take my boyfriend being in love with someone else.”

“And there’s really nothing I can do to convince you otherwise?” Regulus asked.

“I’m sorry, Reg,” Dirk said. “I won’t tell anyone until after you’ve told Isaac.”

* * *

Regulus went back to Ravenclaw Tower in a daze, and headed straight up to the dormitory. 

He didn’t even shower or change into pyjamas; he stripped down to his pants, crawled into his bed, shut the curtains around him, and cast some privacy charms. 

He’d tell Max tomorrow, while Isaac was on his date, but there was no reason to disturb Isaac, whose anxiety was likely making him look for any reason to get out of this date he  _ very much _ wanted to go on. 

Regulus wasn’t going to be the one to give him that excuse.

* * *

“Okay,” Max said once Isaac and Mary had wandered off. “What the  _ hell _ is going on with you?”

Well, Isaac was gone, so there was no harm, right?

“Dirk and I broke up,” Regulus said.

“Shit,” Max said. “Reg, I’m — I’m so sorry. Was it — because of the kiss? Because I can go and talk to him, and…”

“It wasn’t the kiss,” Regulus said, which was mostly true. It wasn’t the  _ kiss _ itself so much as it was the fact that Regulus was obviously madly in love with him, and had kissed him knowing that. “I don’t really want to talk about it.”

“Okay,” Max said. “Then what do you want to do?”

“Honestly, I sort of just want to get pissed,” Regulus said. “I’m just not old enough for Firewhisky.”

“Two more months,” Max said, “But in the meantime, I think I can help.”

Regulus wasn’t sure how he felt about Max leading him to some seedy pub – wasn’t sure how he felt about Max  _ knowing _ about this seedy pub, because he’d walked right there — and buying a whole bottle of Firewhisky and two glasses at the bar while Regulus sat awkwardly at a table in the back.

“A bottle to start,” Max said, setting it down on the table.

“To start?”

“Well, it sounded cool,” Max said with a shrug. He poured two glasses and slid one over to Regulus. “L’chaim.”

“Cheers.”

This was irresponsible and stupid and Regulus was sure he really should know better. But he really didn’t care.

* * *

“Merlin, Firewhisky tastes amazing,” Regulus said. He felt pleasantly warm, and the world had sort of softened a bit around the edges.

“I think maybe you’ve had enough,” Max said, taking Regulus’s glass and corking the bottle.

“No,” Regulus said, reaching for the bottle, but somehow not quickly enough before Max stuffed it in his bag. “I haven’t! It’s so good, Max! Have you tried it?”

“I’ve been drinking  _ with _ you, haven’t I?”

“Oh,” Regulus said, feeling suddenly stupid. “Right.” He sighed. “Max, am I stupid?”

“Of course not,” Max said. “You’re not stupid at all.”

“But I fucked up! He  _ loves _ me, and I fucked it all up!”

_“You_ didn’t fuck it up,” Max said, reaching across the table and squeezing his hand. “I did. _I’m_ the one who kissed _you._ _I’m_ the one who used tongue, _I’m_ the one who practically crawled into your lap, and I did all of that even though I _knew_ you were in love with _him,_ and not with me. I’m a terrible friend.”

Regulus shook his head. He loved Max so much he thought he might burst. Max was his best friend, and he was so good and kind and adorable and fit and Regulus really wanted to kiss him again and then maybe go back to the castle and shag him. And why couldn’t he? He and Dirk had broken up. He was free to kiss Max as much as he wanted to. It was such a good idea. Why hadn’t he done it before? And then, if Max kissed him back, Regulus could tell him he was in love with him, and they’d go back to the castle and shag. It was a perfect plan!

He summoned his nerve, and was leaning forward when he suddenly felt like he was going to vomit. For a second, he thought it was just anxiety, but then — no – he  _ needed _ to vomit. He managed to get up from the table and open a window in time to vomit out of it. After a moment, he felt Max patting his back. 

“Do you feel better?”

Regulus wiped at his mouth with the back of his sleeve. “A little.”

He noticed Max casting a quick cleaning charm outside and another on his sleeve. “I think we should get you back to the castle. Here.” He draped Regulus’s arm around his shoulders, and Max was so  _ close. _ Regulus shifted to put his weight on Max, and Max stumbled. “All right,” Max said. “You’re heavier than you look, so new plan: I’m going to send a note to Isaac, and he can help.” He helped Regulus into a chair and started rifling through his bag.

“No,” Regulus said. “Not Isaac.”

“Why not?”

“He’s on his date.”

“Reg, we  _ have _ to get you back to the castle. I’m sure Isaac will understand.”

“No.”

Max sighed. “Fine. Then who do you suggest?”

“Sirius?”

“Er, all right,” Max said. “We’ll ask Sirius.” He reached into his bag and pulled out a scrap of parchment and a quill. He wrote something down and tapped the parchment with his wand. It folded itself into the shape of a bird and flew out the still open window. “Hopefully that manages to catch him,” Max said.

“Max, you’re so good,” Regulus said. “So good. I don’t deserve you.”

“Don’t talk like that,” Max said. “Of course you deserve me, and I’m not that good.”

* * *

Sirius entered the grotty pub, and Max waved him over.

“Scamander, I never took you for a rule-breaker,” Sirius said with a grin. “And getting my underage  _ prefect _ swot of a brother pissed is  _ definitely _ against the rules.”

“Dirk broke up with me,” Regulus said. “I  _ asked _ Max to buy me Firewhisky.”

“Dirk broke up with you?”

Regulus nodded. “Yeah.”

_ “Why? _ He’s head over heels for you.”

“Sirius…” Max said.

“It’s cos I kissed Max.”

Max blushed, and Sirius looked over at him. “You did what?”

“It was spin the bottle,” Max said quickly. “Mary’s idea. I kissed Isaac, too. And Reg kissed Dirk. And Dirk kissed Mary.”

“I’m sure Isaac was thrilled about that.”

“He kissed Mary, too. And they’re on a date. So I think he’s fine with it.”

“I didn’t want to ruin his date,” Regulus said. “I’m a shitty boyfriend. I can’t be a shitty friend, too.”

“You’re a wonderful friend,” Max said, “and you’re  _ not _ a shitty boyfriend.”

“Let’s get you back to the castle,” Sirius said. “I managed to snag Jem’s cloak, and we can go through one of the hidden passageways. There’s one not far from here.”

“All right,” Max said. “I’m not too proud to admit that picking you over Isaac was the right choice. With Isaac, we’d just be going straight back in view of everyone.”

Sirius winked. “I’m sure Isaac will be  _ painfully _ jealous that you got to stand just one swotty brother away from me and walk back to the castle that way.”

“Maybe,” Max said, “but he’s also mad for Mary, so it might just be a wash.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> a few announcements:  
> 1) the 2nd anniversary survey results are on my [tumblr](https://xslytherclawx.tumblr.com/post/629821729734361088/ravenclaw-au-second-anniversary-survey-results)!  
> 2) I've [updated the quiz](https://uquiz.com/RUfDZj) to see which Ravenclaw AU character you are (added some questions to better include some characters who will appear later on, and fixed some answers to refine the results so there's just as much chance of getting max as there is dirk)  
> 3) the year 6 round up survey is live [here](https://www.surveymonkey.com/r/KM2CPZF)!  
> 4) and last but not least, please let me know if you have any preference for how I should handle this year's chanukah fics, as it's coming up! [survey link](https://www.surveymonkey.com/r/KMSXSSN).
> 
> next chapter is the end of year six!


	19. Chapter 19

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Regulus deals with the aftermath of the Hogsmeade trip

Regulus woke up in his own bed in Ravenclaw Tower. His mouth was drier than it ever had been, and he felt like it might be easier to just roll over and die than try to get out of bed. He was achy and his head was pounding, and — fuck, was this what a hangover felt like? 

He tried to remember the night before, but the last thing he could remember with any sense of clarity was Sirius coming into the Hog’s Head, and even that was mostly fuzzy. He thought he remembered Max and Sirius helping him through a dark corridor, but he couldn’t be sure.

He tried to go back to sleep, even if his head felt like it was going to explode. He tried not to think about the fact that Dirk had broken up with him because he was in love with Max. Max, who didn’t want him, and who had maybe wanted him only briefly two years ago, but who had certainly gotten over it. Maybe Max had never even wanted him two years ago. Maybe he’d just kissed him to be nice. That was definitely the only reason he’d let Regulus kiss him on his birthday last year. Surely there was no way someone as perfect as Max could ever want someone as fucked up as him.

He woke up some time later, and realised that he must have fallen back asleep. His curtains were still closed, and the bed was pitch black, so he had no clue what time it was. He felt a bit better, but queasy, and his mouth was still dry, and his head still hurt.

He decided to get some water, and fully expected to be assaulted by sunlight when he opened his curtains — but he wasn’t. Instead, he found the windows covered, and a note, glass of water, and a flask on his bedside table. He gulped down the water and read the note.

> Reg,
> 
> Good morning!  I hope you’re not too hungover, but I have my doubts. Sirius helped me prepare this potion for you last night. He swears it’s the best hangover cure known to wizardkind. Or it might turn your hair pink. It’s Sirius; I’d drink at my own risk  I know he wouldn’t  _ poison _ you, but we both know we can’t hold him above pranking. So take it (or not) and get some rest. Isaac and I will be in the common room.
> 
> Lots of love,
> 
> Max 

Regulus really didn’t deserve a friend like Max. He had a good feeling Sirius wouldn’t prank him too terribly after everything, so he drank the potion. Then he went to the bathroom, where he refilled his glass of water from the tap (and realised he could have just cast  _ aguamenti). _ His stomach still felt uneasy, so once he drank his water, he went to lay back down.

Dirk had broken up with him. The memory kept coming back. He should have lied. He should have told Dirk that he wasn’t in love with Max, that it didn’t matter because Max would never love him back. Surely there was  _ something _ he could have done differently.

* * *

He went up to the common room when he felt hungry. He was acutely aware that he hadn’t showered since the morning before, and that he looked like shit. He didn’t care. His boyfriend had dumped him because he was pathetically in love with his best friend, who he was sure didn’t want him like that.

He found Max and Isaac sitting with Miri. Emmeline wasn’t in the common room, and Regulus tried not to think about what that meant.

Max hugged him. “How are you feeling?”

Regulus hugged him back. “Better than I did this morning. The potion helped.”

“And it didn’t turn your hair pink, either.”

“You should have told me,” Isaac said.

“You had your date with Mary,” Regulus said. “I didn’t want to spoil it.”

Isaac rolled his eyes. “Reg, you’re one of my best friends. I don’t want you worrying about upsetting me on a date when you’re going through something like this. Mary would have understood, too.”

“I really don’t want to talk about it.”

“All right,” Max said. “You should definitely talk about it with someone when you’re ready, though, because bottling your emotions up is unhealthy, but — we won’t make you do that now.”

Regulus let Max lead him back to the sofa. “Honestly, I sort of want to eat.”

“No wonder,” Isaac said. “It’s half past two in the afternoon.”

“What would you like?” Max asked. “Miri and I will go down to the kitchens and ask the House Elves.”

“I — I dunno,” Regulus said. “Nothing too heavy. Or sweet.”

Max kissed his cheek. “We’ll find you something.” He stood up, and he and Miri left the common room to go to the kitchens.

“How was your date?” Regulus asked Isaac.

Isaac looked around. “Let’s go to the dormitory.”

So they did. Isaac opened the curtains and let the light flood into the room. 

“Why didn’t you tell Dirk that you weren’t in love with Max?”

“What’re you talking about?” Regulus asked, feeling panicked. How did Isaac  _ know? _ Was he  _ that _ obvious? Did  _ Max _ know?

“He conveniently broke up with you — when he’s  _ clearly _ mad for you — just after you and Max snogged during spin the bottle. So — it’s pretty obvious that  _ that _ was a factor. But Dirk adores you, so he wouldn’t have broken up with you if — if you’d said it meant nothing and that you didn’t have feelings for Max.”

“Isaac, I couldn’t — I couldn’t  _ lie _ to him. He means far too much for me to do that.”

“Did you tell Max?”

“How could I tell Max?”

“Because he’s the person you’re in love with?”

“I’m in love with Dirk, too.”

“Too,” Isaac said. 

“Yes,” Regulus said.

“Reg, I’m not saying tell him  _ now, _ but you need to tell him at  _ some _ point.”

“I’m not risking our friendship because I’m too stupid or emotionally stunted to control my feelings.”

“You wouldn’t  _ ruin _ anything. Max  _ adores _ you.”

“Isaac, please.”

“Fine,” Isaac said. “But I’m only dropping it because you’re obviously heartbroken. I  _ will _ bring it up again when you’re feeling better.”

Of course he would. “How was your date with Mary?”

“You’re sure you want to hear about that?”

“Yes,” Regulus said. “I’m not in love with either of  _ you.” _

“If you’re sure.”

“I am.”

“Then…” Isaac said, sitting down at the foot of his bed. “It went really well. We sort of agreed to — let things be over summer, because proper long distance is too much so early. It’s just been one date, and a few kisses. We said we’d write, but — no expectations, and if we both feel up to it, we’ll go to Hogsmeade together again in September.”

Regulus tried not to feel jealous of his friend’s happiness, but it was hard. “That’s great,” he said.

“Although, really, I wish you’d  _ told me _ about Dirk. I’d have been able to stop Max getting you pissed, at least.”

“It’s fine.”

“He told me you vomited out a window.”

“I don’t remember that.” But it  _ would _ explain why he’d woken up with his mouth tasting like vomit.

“That’s sort of worse,” Isaac said. “Because Max wouldn’t lie about that.”

“At least I didn’t try to sleep with him. I don’t think.”

“Was that an  _ option?” _

“I remember thinking about it.”

“Reg.”

“I know,” Regulus said. “I know. I’m a disaster.”

“You’re not a disaster,” Isaac said. “You’re just in love with two people at once. That can make things more complicated. I don’t think — you know, it’s not a  _ bad _ thing that you’re in love with Max,  _ or _ that you want to have sex with him. And — I’m glad you’re willing to admit it now.”

“Why admit I’ve fucked everything up with  _ one _ boy when I can admit I’ve fucked it up with two of them?” Regulus asked.

“But you haven’t fucked it up with Max.”

“Isaac.”

“You haven’t! He doesn’t even  _ know.” _

“Well, I’m not telling him, and neither are you.”

“If that’s what you want,” Isaac said. “I’m not going to force you. I’m just saying you haven’t fucked things up with him, because he doesn’t even know.”

“It’s better that way,” Regulus said. Max could never reject him if he didn’t know, and that kept it entirely Regulus’s problem.

“If you say so,” Isaac said.

“Can we talk about anything else besides boys and relationships?”

“All right,” Isaac said. “What d’you think Tutshill’s chances are next season after Puddlemere  _ crushed _ them? Because they finished  _ eighth _ this year.”

* * *

Max and Miri returned with baskets full of food. “Wasn’t sure exactly what to get you,” Max said. “‘Not sweets, but not heavy’ covers a  _ lot.” _

Miri transfigured a low table out of the baskets and they all sat down around it. “I’m not sure how stable this is, so best not to lean on it,” she said.

“I don’t deserve you,” Regulus said. “Any of you.”

“Stop  _ saying _ that,” Max snapped. “It’s bollocks. We’re  _ friends.  _ Friends support each other. You’d do the same for any of us.”

“But none of you are pathetic enough to get into this situation in the first place.”

“You’re not pathetic,” Isaac said firmly.

“No, you’re not, and besides, it’s all  _ my _ fault, isn’t it?” Max said.  _ “I _ kissed you in front of your boyfriend — I went in to kiss you with tongue, when I could have just as easily kissed your cheek — and then I took you to the Hog’s Head to get completely smashed. I bought you Firewhisky. If I hadn’t done that, you’d have been a bit sad over a few Butterbeers, but you’d have been able to walk home and you wouldn’t have been so hungover this morning.  _ None _ of this is  _ your _ fault, Reg.”

“Max,” Miri said softly.

“No,” Max said. “It’s all my fault. If I hadn’t been such an impulsive fucking bastard, Dirk never would have —”

“Max,” Isaac said with a sharp look.

“It’s not your fault, Max,” Regulus said. “Dirk was  _ very _ clear about that.” It was his fault for being pathetically in love with Max. If he’d just let Max kiss him for a few seconds before pushing him away, Dirk never would have broken up with him. 

If it had even just been physical attraction, he was pretty sure Dirk would never have broken up with him. He might have still wanted to have a serious talk about it, but he’d been pretty clear that he was breaking up with Regulus because he knew Regulus was in love with Max. And the worst part was that Regulus really couldn’t blame him.

“And it’s not  _ your _ fault, either,” Isaac said. “Listen,  _ no one _ marries the first person they date. No one.”

“Do you not think you’ll marry Mary?” Miri asked.

“Not the time,” Isaac said. “I’m not delusional enough to think that my first relationship will be my only one. I don’t think I’ve ever met anyone who’s married the first person they’ve ever dated. Mine and Miri’s parents didn’t even  _ meet _ until they were already certified Healers! Not properly. Max’s parents were in their late twenties when they met.”

“Cissa married the first person she dated,” Regulus said.

“All right, but she’s still in with all that Pureblood society bollocks, so that doesn’t count,” Isaac said. “Normal people don’t do that. Even Ruthie — she had a girlfriend before Suzy. David and Cass both dated other people before they got together. My cousin Shmuley’s  _ Orthodox, _ and  _ frum, _ and he’d still dated — I mean, maybe not in the sense we’d use — other girls before he married his wife!”

“It wasn’t… I never  _ really _ thought I’d  _ marry _ him,” Regulus said, which was the truth. He loved Dirk, and he’d loved being his boyfriend, but he’d never really thought about marrying  _ anyone. _ “But it still hurts, and it’s still my fault he broke up with me.”

“Maybe you’ll meet your future husband tomorrow,” Isaac said.

“I certainly hope not.”

Miri rolled her eyes. “All right. I don’t know what the fuck is wrong with either of you two, but unless you quite literally cheated on Dirk, or spewed racist bullshit — which I know you didn’t do — or killed his owl, or something, there’s nothing I can see that would make  _ him _ breaking up with  _ you _ your fault.”

“I didn’t cheat on him,” Regulus said.

“Of course not,” Miri said. “So it’s not your fault.” 

“I know you think you’re helping, but you’re not,” Regulus said. “And I  _ really _ don’t want to talk about this.”

Isaac and Max exchanged a look. “Well,” Max said. “I was the first one to finish my Care of Magical Creatures exam, and Professor Kettleburn told me I might as well just go and sit the N.E.W.T. — and I mean, obviously, I know I can. I know I’ll get an O on that N.E.W.T., because my dad’s always made sure that I know how to care for creatures. I think half the class is angry with me, but it’s nice to be with creatures that aren’t just Thalia and owls during the school year. Honestly, the whole reason my parents  _ got _ me Thalia was because they noticed how down I was without any creatures near me all the time.”

“Really?” Regulus asked. He hadn’t known that.

Max nodded. “Oh, yeah. I mean, I wasn’t, like, depressed or  _ miserable, _ or anything, but I’ve always been around creatures as long as I can remember, so — it was even obvious when I went home for the High Holy Days, and that was only just after a few weeks. But when I came home over winter hols, it was  _ really _ obvious, so that sort of finalised their decision. I mean, they’d offered to get me a Kneazle-cat before I’d even left for Hogwarts, but I wasn’t  _ totally _ sure I’d remember to care for it, so I didn’t. But then they realised I wasn’t really myself without a creature, so… Thalia.”

The Kneazle-cat, having heard her name several times, jumped down off of Max’s bed and curled up in his lap. He scratched her behind the ears. 

Regulus was seized by the sudden desire to lay his head in Max’s lap and have Max stroke his hair. It wasn’t so outlandish, after all; they’d done that before. But never when Regulus had just had his heart broken.

And he really couldn’t stand to have Max reject him, too.

To distract himself, he grabbed the nearest edible thing (a dinner roll) and shoved it into his mouth.

Isaac gave him a look, but neither Max nor Miri seemed to notice anything odd; they were too focused on Thalia.

Once Regulus managed to swallow, he turned to Isaac. “Where, er, where are you going on holiday this summer?”

“Tel Aviv,” Isaac said. “And Cass is coming, so that should be fun. She had to learn Hebrew for the Beit Din, but that’s Biblical Hebrew, not modern, and — we learned both.”

“Jacob will be in Tel Aviv for a bit this summer,” Max said. “He’s spending it between Tel Aviv and Jerusalem. You should visit him. I’m sure he’d love to see you.” 

Isaac blushed, but Max didn’t say anything about it. “I’ve actually not been to Tel Aviv before — it was David’s idea, really. We’d done Jerusalem, and obviously Haifa, and — well, he’d wanted Berlin, but Mame wouldn’t even entertain  _ that _ idea.”

“Can’t quite blame her,” Max said. He leaned back against his trunk. “I wish  _ we _ went on holiday. I know I could ask Jacob to take us with him, and he would, but he’s always on the move and seems to get into quite dangerous situations.”

“Next year,” Isaac said. “We can all go somewhere together. We can all afford it. Somewhere… interesting, but not overly dangerous. Shouldn’t be difficult.”

“No,” Max agreed. “I wouldn’t think so. What d’you say, Reg?”

“Me?” Regulus asked.

“Of course you,” Max said. “‘Me?’ Honestly, it’s like he doesn’t know we love him more than anything.”

“You’d want to go on holiday with me?” Max loved him more than anything? Regulus knew he was likely being hyperbolic, but surely he wouldn’t say that if he didn’t love him  _ very _ much.

“Of  _ course,” _ Max said. “Barring the past few months, we’ve all but been attached at the hip for several years, anyway. As if I’d actually go to another country without  _ you.” _

Regulus loved him so much he could burst, and he was certain that it was written on his face in that moment. He fought his instinct to cover it up. There was nothing wrong with loving Max, even if it wasn’t in the way Max probably wanted him to. “A-all right,” he said.

“But then, naturally, we’ll have to take into account your very demanding schedule as a Quidditch professional, but I hardly think a few weeks after school next year will be a problem.”

“I — I don’t know about Quidditch professional…”

“Bollocks,” Max said. “Everyone knows it, Reg. Of course, if you’d rather pursue a different path, I’m sure you’d be just as successful in  _ any _ given field — excluding, perhaps, Herbology.” He heaved a sigh and leaned over so that his head was on Regulus’s shoulder. “Just remember we’re going on holiday, so whoever recruits you had better keep that in mind.”

“I’m sure it won’t be a problem,” Regulus said, reaching a hand up to card his fingers through Max’s lovely curly hair.

He didn’t miss the look Isaac gave him, but he didn’t care. He wasn’t going to spoil things. If things with Max could stay like this forever, he wouldn’t have to get his heart broken all over again. He was sure he could cope when Max inevitably found someone he loved as much as Regulus loved him.

Even if some selfish part of him hoped that would never happen.

Max deserved to be happy.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> and that's a wrap for year six!  
> please be sure to fill out the [end of year survey](https://www.surveymonkey.com/r/KM2CPZF) if you haven't yet!

**Author's Note:**

> come visit me on [tumblr](https://xslytherclawx.tumblr.com/) | [character guide](https://xslytherclawx.tumblr.com/chars)
> 
> * * *
> 
> Please feel free to join my [discord server](https://discord.gg/yb6bS3c)! It’s a general Harry Potter server, but I also thought it’d be nice to have a place to discuss Ravenclaw AU with y’all as well!


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